Sad and disappointed

Aug 03, 2015

UPDATE=First, I am very sad, on June 15 I had to put my emotional support dog to sleep, she was dying of congested heart failure, she had fought about a year with it, or longer, that I may had not known about, but what I knew of it was a year, a very short year, it went to quickly. But my loneliness helped me to step up and ask myself what if Annie could had given me instructions what would they be, and I felt strongly that it would be to save another animal. So that is what I did. Searching craigslist to for one that was needing a home, with a little to no rehoming fee on account of being low on cash, and to help others out, and not their pocket book, I felt if they really had an issue where they needed to rehome their pet bad enough it would be free or small fee. Well found one, and little female shih Tzu for free. Met her when I went to get her. Oh she was all matted, and stinky, and just in poor sad shape, he had her for two days and said his room mate was allergic to her. Got her home, gave her Annie's flea treatment right off, then pulled hair that was entwined around her bottom teeth off, ewwwy that was nasty, and then went to work on getting the knotted and matted hair shaved off. Poor baby, she had sores under the fur where her mattd hair had done it, or she had done it biting at her fleas, and allergies, yep, just like Annie, she is having severe allergy reactions to things, and food. So her food has been changed, isn't doing it, gave her a medicated bath, helped a little while, but not long. Her ears itch all the time, her eyes and nose like to be a little runny, Not bad. She licks and nibble at her feet and other areas of her body, so she will have to go on the same medication Annie was on, it keeps it calmed down and makes the babies more comfortable and happier cus they aren't always itchy and irritated by their allergies. She starts today. She is a smart girl, guy told me she was abt 4, and she is being trained by me to help keep me calmer when my PTSD gets me worked up, upset, crying and so forth, it will be her job to come to be when called or not and to get on my lap to be there to help remind me to take some breaths and pet her until I am no longer in that emotional state. I know she can do this. Getting her certified is going to be the problem, I am unsure of how to do that here in Washington state, if anyone reading this knows how to get a PTSD service trained dog certified let me know, I will appreciate it, if I can't find this out, then she will always remain my emotional support dog, and I will be unable to take her with me, and there for unable to attend public places with me, and keep me grounded so my PTSD doesn't get the best of me in public, which it has before.

As of Januraruy 23rd 2-23-2016

Starr Has passed her CDC cerificate, and

is also now a member of the AkC, she has papers,

a a number on her also, BLESS HER Heart, she is a service dog

for me. She is such a wonderfu tool for me, she does such a great job for me.

There  is such a blessing to me.

Onto the disappointment if you are still with me.

Went to see a WLS surgeon after getting an upper GI and finding out that my lower stoma has enlarged and food is traveling through my stomach straight into my intestine. He said it isn't dangerous, ok I can completely breath a sigh of relief with that, BUT it is allowing me to eat way more then I should, allowing me to be/feel hungry all the time, and causing allot of constipation between that, and meds I am messed up, or should say plugged up lol.

He refused to do it, said it wouldn't work, or last long. So knowing what insurance I had said I had to go see a dietitian, and I had to tell him no I don't, not unless he was paying for it. I am so hurt, disappointed, and even mad, I thought the stoma meant I had the surgery already in the bag one could say. Thinking about a second opinion,  what do you think? I will have to do some researching to find someone else that will I can see and hope that person will go ahead and do it for me. They also want to do a scope down my throat I believe, and check things out that way, but why if it isn't dangerous or a problem, why the more tests being done? I don't get Dr's some times.

Ok rants and venting is over, just been awhile since I have blogged on here so thought I would update. One thing I can post, weight is stay stable at and around 200lbs, not where I want to be, but not going up. just have to kick my butt in gear and give it my all to loose 20lbs by Jan, I have a wedding dress I have to fit in. I was 180 when my mom and I got it for me, so I am a nasty

20lbs heavier. bad bad bad me. I believe if I just get down and nasty about this 20lbs I can loose it before January before alteration fitting. Stop the goodies and carbs, and start snacking and eating protein more and more. Must get husband on board also, I am a food addict, and if he brings in them bad carbs and sweets, I am gonna eat them also, and he tells me he will do  anything to aid and assist me. So time to put him to the test. God be with us both as we resist sweets and carbs. 

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