7-7-10

Jul 07, 2010

Welp I am still hanging in there. I have to say that weight loss is much slower than I thought it would be and the band much fickler than anyone (except on here ) admitted too but I am trying to make it work. I have lost alot of inches and kick myself for not  measuring before hand! Ughhhhhh.... I am pleased but SO cautious about my progress. I am so scared I will fail at this too. So anywho.... I seem to be tight in the AM and loose at dinner and tight again before bed. Non processed chx is a no no for me ! I do not do bread of any kind except for a few wheat crackers every now and then. I cannot really do pork and still struggle to eat SLOWWWWWW. OMG....I am a pig!!!! LOL I inhale my food which causes me alot of anguish at times. I have actually vomitted about 3 times and have slimed and burped back up countless times.I know this is not good or ideal and am trying to work on it.  I have lost alot of lbs but some of them have been the SAME darn lbs so I do not count them.lol. I continue to struggle with my body image and weight loss I have had so far. Even though my small clothes are getting too big I cannot see a victory most days. I think it is just me. I get my next fill on Monday and am looking forward to that as I can tell at times I can eat more than I used to could.I am scared of getting too tight but am going to trust my Dr on that one. I have gotta remember to ask how much I have in my band too and how large it is. I'm a ding dong sometimes. Actually I think i was so happy with how easy the fill went I forgot all about asking anything.LOL
I have alot of anxiety about my band....slipping it , failing at it etc. I have alot of anxiety about alot of things though so that is just me.LOL I'd have the anxiety irregardless of the band so it is still a plus for me.I am riddled with OCD and anxiety disorder so I have good days and bad. I am trying to get all my meds in line and stuff to have more good days though. Welp I am off to have a girly night.... already painted my nails and now to dye the hair and bleach the teeth etc....OH the things we ladies go thru to look good!!!! LOL

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