11-7-10

Nov 07, 2010

Well I wore my outfit last night ! I was unsure but all went well.:)   I can really tell a difference with this fill I have always had a little restriction but now I like cannot drink a whole iced coffee or eat a whole bowl of soup! AWESOME.I get full really fast and stay that way a long time.=)  The weird thing is that I am not mentally ready to stop eating though so I have to really think about NOT taking that extra bite.Do not wanna get sick ya know? Head hunger sucks! UGHHHHH   I am really hoping that my weight loss picks up with this fill .Lately I have been hovering around the same weight.That happens to me about every 20 lbs.It is like I have to get over the hump of a certain weight my body likes.LOL I  will go a few weeks gaining and losing the same few lbs then drop on down and keep going.WEIRD.lol
So excited about this fill and the potential get on down and close to onderland.Only 9 lbs to get there! YAY!  9lbs !  The weight loss has happened so fast my mind has not wrapped around it yet and I find myself thinking ....I am bigger than I am.My fall clothes are too big! My tights last night were almost too big! LOVE IT. But unfortunately I still see the bigger girl most of the time. I have written about a time when I was alot larger I had a skinny girl in my head and I wore stuff in reality I probably had no business wearing lol but I felt like a skinny girl trapped in a fat body! Now I feel like a fat girl lives in my head. I second guess everything I put on.I guess I kind of hide behind my weight.It was my excuse for everything.Once it goes things just are what they are and there will not be the whole fat thing to blame.I dunno this is what I have been thinking lately. It is so crazy that being overweight is SO much more than just being heavy! It is a mind trap and we really have to learn to rethink and overcome the pitfalls mentally that have gotten us here too. This part can be just as hard as the physical. It is like peeling back layers.

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