The Ups & Downs

Jul 25, 2011

Today marks 2 months post-op for me.  The ups have been great...1) I still have very little appetite and even fewer cravings; 2) I've lost 47 pounds I SWEAR I will never see again; 3) I feel better (in general) and look better; 4) I've really discovered how supportive my friends & family are; 5) I'm actually looking forward to my 40th birthday (in about 6 weeks) because of these great changes I've made. 

The downs are a little less encouraging: 1) I kind of have good days & bad days...still get full really fast and sometimes have trouble getting in all the food I'm supposed to; 2) I burp like a drunken sailor - constantly!!  Which is OK at home but a little embarrassing in the lunch room at work - LOL; 3) I haven't had a great surge of energy like some others have.  Overall I feel better but I'm not running races anytime soon.

This is without a doubt the best thing I've ever done for myself - but it's also the hardest.  I don't miss the food.  I miss the ritual of the food.  I miss drinking from a straw, I miss baking - I love to bake but just don't have the desire anymore; I miss lunches & dinners out with my girlfriends; sharing appetizers and drinks.  I don't want the food - I want the feeling.  I haven't been to a restaurant yet because it still takes me so long to eat a meal that I just don't think I'd enjoy it.  Don't get me wrong - for everything I miss, there is something I either love now or anticipate happening.  I love that my clothes are just  too big for me now, I love that I can walk to the park with my kids and not break out in a sweat, even in this heat!  I am excited for what's to come.  I think more than anything, I may have underestimated the emotional impact of this journey.  I can handle the function of the planning, the counting, the preparing.  It's the impact of change that's the hard part.

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