Kerry F.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

To many people, this doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it's HUGE and I know that my OH friends will understand!  To be able to sit comforably in a chair and cross one leg over the other is a distantly familiar feeling.  I remember when I used to be able to do that...and it had been a long while.  Well I noticed yesterday that I can do it again with ease.  Score one for me!
3 months in the grand scheme of things is not a very long time.  But in these 3 short months, I've done more physically than I've done in years.  I've lost 63 pounds - it's almost inconceivable.  63 lbs means that I'm nearly half way to my goal (aiming for a total of 132 lbs lost).  I've been more active with my kids this summer than I ever have been.  There have been many milestones - riding an elephant at the Lion Safari with my boys, spending a day at Wonderland with my family and I was the one who wanted to stay longer - that's never happened!!  Normally I'm the one looking for a place to rest or I'm dying to go home because I haven't got the stamina to walk around the park again.  Not this time!!!

Today a coworker who hasn't seen me in a few months approached me and paid me a wonderful compliment.  He is too polite and respectful to comment on weight but he took the time to say "congratulations on your new look."  I was a little overwhelmed.  He's not someone I work closely with and he certainly does not know about my surgery so to have someone like that notice and comment felt really great.

I was asked today if I was glad I did this...did I have any regets?  Absolutely I'm glad and I am completely regret-free.  Certainly I regret becoming obese in the first place but I have only positive thoughts about my decision to have surgery. 

My first 2 months were a struggle.  It took me a while to wrap my head around all these changes.  Physically, my insides feel different - hunger doesn't feel the same anymore and things just feel out of place (probably because they are...).  I've had a fair bit of nausea on a regular basis.  Many of my tastebuds have changed.  This all takes some time to get used to.  Emotionally I've had some struggles.  Changing old habits is hard.  But I feel so good at this 3-month mark.  I've turned a corner of sorts and I think I finally know what I'm doing.

This website has been invaluable to me.  Having others share their experiences, their wisdom, their challenges and successes helps me and I'm grateful for it. 

I can't wait for the next 3 months!

Today marks 2 months post-op for me.  The ups have been great...1) I still have very little appetite and even fewer cravings; 2) I've lost 47 pounds I SWEAR I will never see again; 3) I feel better (in general) and look better; 4) I've really discovered how supportive my friends & family are; 5) I'm actually looking forward to my 40th birthday (in about 6 weeks) because of these great changes I've made. 

The downs are a little less encouraging: 1) I kind of have good days & bad days...still get full really fast and sometimes have trouble getting in all the food I'm supposed to; 2) I burp like a drunken sailor - constantly!!  Which is OK at home but a little embarrassing in the lunch room at work - LOL; 3) I haven't had a great surge of energy like some others have.  Overall I feel better but I'm not running races anytime soon.

This is without a doubt the best thing I've ever done for myself - but it's also the hardest.  I don't miss the food.  I miss the ritual of the food.  I miss drinking from a straw, I miss baking - I love to bake but just don't have the desire anymore; I miss lunches & dinners out with my girlfriends; sharing appetizers and drinks.  I don't want the food - I want the feeling.  I haven't been to a restaurant yet because it still takes me so long to eat a meal that I just don't think I'd enjoy it.  Don't get me wrong - for everything I miss, there is something I either love now or anticipate happening.  I love that my clothes are just  too big for me now, I love that I can walk to the park with my kids and not break out in a sweat, even in this heat!  I am excited for what's to come.  I think more than anything, I may have underestimated the emotional impact of this journey.  I can handle the function of the planning, the counting, the preparing.  It's the impact of change that's the hard part.

I am now 8 days post surgery and (knock wood!) feeling really, really good :)  This is my 3rd day without percocet and yesterday & today not even a Tylenol.  I literally have no pain...amazing.  My incisions are itching like crazy so I imagine they're nearly all healed.  I'm sleeping so well at night and only resting in the day; no naps since Day 3.  Went for a very short walk today and enjoyed being outside.  My one worry is that I'm still not cosuming  what is recommended at this stage.  I get about 1/2 of what is listed for the whole day and that is pushing it.  I have no desire whatsoever to eat (well, drink really).  And I must admit that I'm getting a bit bored with the same bland flavour of everything.  I'm really looking forward to the puree phase.  According to my home scale, I'm down 23 lbs since the start of Optifast but I can't bring myself to believe that number; just doesn't seem possible.  I'll believe the scale at the clinic once I get there for follow up :)  My friends tell me they see a difference already.  I don't really see it but I do feel a difference - my feet & ankles have not been swollen since about day 2 after surgery and that is a totally foreign feeling for me.  And my bra is a little loose, which I love because I can stand to knock off a couple of cup sizes :) 

I came home from the hospital last night; I was feeling really good yesterday.  Surgery was on Wednesday and today has been basically awful.  I had a great sleep but woke up in a lot of pain.  Took percocet, which helped with the pain but made me so nauseas I could barely eat anything.  I slept a lot this morning and then retched so bad I thought I must have torn something inside.  I've only had about 240mL of fluid today, half of that in the form of protein shake, the other in yogurt and applesauce.  I'm sipping on protein juice off and on to keep hydrated.  I'm literally forcing myself to ingest anything and I don't feel good at all.  Please tell me this will subside soon.

So the day has arrived.  I'm now less than 4 hours away from surgery.  Yikes!!!  Thanks to those who've sent messages of support   Wish me luck!!

Excited, nervous, (a little) scared, hopeful, anxious, curious, READY.  Just a few of the things I'm feeling.  Four more sleeps until my surgery date.  I remember when my referral went in and hearing that it could be a year before surgery and thinking it was so far away.  It's really only been six months and when I think about it, that six months have flown by.  I'm so excited about the next six months.  I'm so inspired by all of you on this site - I read your stories and feel so uplifted and so hopeful.  I feel myself already changing; the way I think about food, the things I do now instead of reach for food.  I just know that this surgery will forever change my life; that it is the single most important tool I could have.  And I'm grateful already for what's to come.

I am now on Day 6 of Optifast and can't believe how much better I feel!  I really only had that one awful day and I'm pleasantly surprised how easy it's been since then.  Plus I'm already down 7 lbs!!!  The hardest time was at my neice's First Communion celebration yesterday - the smell of the food was pure heaven.  Instead of dwelling on it, I hung out at the kids' table for a while, reading books to the little ones who weren't eating anwyay.  Yay me for a great coping strategy.  9 days away from surgery and getting more excited by the minute.

...and I seriously want to punch someone in the face,  Anyone.  I didn't think I'd be this HUNGRY!!!!  I am not an irritible person by nature but good lord, I am a cranky mess.  It doesn't help that I'm baking cakes today for my neice's Communion.  Boy, that was a stupid thing to say yes to.  I'm told this should subside by Day 3.  Here's hoping that's true.  Grrrrr...

On Wednesday I'll start my 2 weeks of Optifast so I've kind of been keeping track of my 'lasts."   My last dinner out for a while, my last Caramel Frappucino...But the best one was this afternoon on my way back from picking up my little guy from school.  That was the last walk to & from school I'll ever take with this body at this weight.  Today my back hurt and although it was a beautiful day, it was too hot for me and I began to sweat about 1/2 way there.  I was irritable and uncomfortable and suddenly it hit me - the next opportunity I'll have to do this walk won't be until after surgery.  My schedule is going to be busy the next couple of weeks and the kids are going to daycare so I can put in some extra days at work before I'm off for my surgery; so the drop off/pick up will be at daycare, not school.  It was one of those 'a-ha' moments I always hear about.  The next time I do this walk, I will literally be walking a new path.  So this last walk became my weight loss metaphor.  I suddenly couldn't wait for it to be over and I actually started moving faster; I'm so ready to leave this all behind me.  Looking forward now to 'firsts' instead of 'lasts.'

I saw the social worker and the dietician on Monday at HRRH - they were both lovely and I really wish I could remember their names.  I'm usually great with names but for the life of me I can't recall.  Anyhow...I think the assessments were terrific.  I liked that they really focussed on what I knew about this process; both the procedure itself and the impact it will have on my life post-op.  I feel really good about this decision and I was confident in answering all of their questions but I have to confess that I broke a little when we talked about my kids.  My boys are 6 and 4 and when I was asked about my motivation for this surgery, they were the first thing on my mind.  I so want to be a great mom for them.  I believe I'm a good mom but  being a fit & ACTIVE mom is the one piece of the puzzle that's missing.  So once those meetings were out of the way, I called my surgeon's office and - bam! - date scheduled - May 25th.  I kinda feel like I won the lottery.  I'm a bit giddy and can't stop smiling. It's only 7 weeks away.  The referral from my GP was sent in November, which means it was only 6 months to get a surgery date...amazing!  I'm so excited