WELCOME

I am a single mom. I love music. I play the drums. I love the beach, flowers and spending time with my friends. I love animals. Currently I have a dog named ZsaZsa. I am a normal sized person trapped inside a large body. At this time I weigh 330 pounds.

My first appointment with the surgeon is set for Thursday, August 19th. I have got my referral in hand and can hardly wait. I started to make some changes in my life style. It has been two weeks since I have "real" coffee or any sodas. I also starting taking vitamins. On Monday, August 2nd I start having physical therapy for my back and knees. I want to be able to start to exercise. Hopefully everything is going to fit right in place.

My meeting with the surgeon went really well. My best friend, MaryJane went with me to meet Dr. Irgau. The doctor really put me at ease. He answered all my questions and believes that I am a good candidate for the surgery. He agrees with me that I should have the gastric bypass surgery prior to the knee replacement. Hopefully the insurance will let me continue with my physical therapy.

Sept. 17th, I met with the cardiologist. He also was very nice. I had an echo cardiogram and an EKG. He says that my EKG is irregular. Nothing to worry about. (I hope it's not too late for me to prevent and/or reverse any heart problems.) My Mom has congestive heart failure and because of all her other illnesses and her weight, she cannot have heart bypass surgery. I love my Mom but don't want to wind up in the same health condition that she is in.

My first PMRI nutritional class is on Tuesday. I need to take a drive there on Monday night to make sure that I can get there without getting lost. I am excited about taking the class.

I am having a stress test on Wednesday. My knees are too bad to do the test with the treadmill. I am really worried that they might find something wrong with me health wise.

Please, God, let my heart and lungs be strong. I really want to have this surgery. I want a chance to do normal every day things and not be in pain. I want to be able to walk up and down the stairs and not be afraid of falling. I want to be able to garden, play my drums again, ride a bike, learn to ice skate and maybe even take ballet lessons without some one staring at me. I want my daughter not to be embarrased about how I look. I just want a chance to be normal.

October 10, 2004 I got a call yesterday afternoon at work from the cardiologist. He told me that my stress test shows that I am not getting enough oxygeon to my heart. He wants me to have a catherization done and then possibly an angioplasty. He believes that my arteries are narrowed. He talked about putting splints in. He said the best place to have a heart attack is in the hospital and that he wants me to be able to get off the operating table alive. ( Well duh, me too.) After getting the news I went kind of hysterical at work. (Why did he have to call me at work with this kind of news??) My Dad died from heart failure about 21 years ago and my Mom has unoperable congestive heart failure. Maybe I am too late to change and improve my health odds. I love my Mom but I don't want to follow in her steps with all of her health problems.

I feel more in control now after speaking to my pastor and best friends. In a way this is a gift from God that I found out about the problem before having a bigger problem. Telling my Mom and daughter was the hardest part. (My family is really small and I am a single Mom.) Sometimes I start feeling really alone and then my friends remind me that they are there for me.

I am going to continue with all my other appointments. Who knows what else they might find. As my best friend, Maryjane said to me, " Looking into gastric bypass surgery may have just saved your life."

October 9, 2004. My best friends, Maryjane and Jean, and I went down to Ocean City for the weekend. The weather was great. It felt good to get away from everything and unwind. I can tell that my friends are really worried about me.

October 11, 2004. I got my blood work done. Saw Dr. Obrien with my chest x-ray. He thinks I might have sleep apenea. I also saw Lisa Pristone, a psychologist for pre-counseling. Lisa thinks that I need additional one on one theraphy. Boy, this has really turned out to be a fun day. I feel like a lab experiment. I know all this testing is necessary, butI feel overwhelmed by doctor appointments and tests.

October 15, 2004. I see the endocrinologist, Dr.Hundel. He thinks that my cholorestral is too high. It is 105. I called my family doctor, Dr. Peluso. She tells me that my chlorestral is fine. She does agree with the cardiologist that there may be a heart blockage on my left side.

October 18,2004. I had the heart catherization procedure done at St Francis. Everyone there was really friendly and helpful. I knew everything was going to be okay when Dr. Adeleke asked me how I was doing and I said that I had a lot of prayer coming into the room with me. He responded that he had said a prayer for me before he came into the room. I was relieved that it didn't hurt. I got some really good news. I do not have a blockage. I even have an extra fully functional artery. Thank you God. I stayed home from work for the rest of the week. Boy am I tired. All I want to do is sleep.

October 22, 2004. Women's retreat weekend. Everyone there told me that they had been praying for me. I felt very much loved. I am still tired. I can't wait to get my energy level back.

October 28, 2004. My first sleep study at the Sleep Center. I was wrong when I said that I was feeling like a lab experiment earlier. Now I really know what it feels like to be a lab experiment. Wires attached to me all over the place. I didn't get much sleep. I can't sleep on my back.

November 5,2004. I got a call from Sleep Care. They want to do another sleep study using a CPap machine. Time to feel like a lab experiment again. I wish everyone would listen to me when I tell that that I can not sleep on my back.

November 7, 2004. I had my sleep study. Surprize, again I got no sleep.

November 8, 2004. I met with Lisa Pristone again. She is giving me the psychologist clearance.

November 18, 2004. I saw my surgeon, Dr. Irgau. My surgery is all set for Wednesday, December 8th. the only clearance that I need is from Dr. Obrien. He has ordered the C-Pap machine for me. I have mild sleep apenea. I need to be on the CPap machine for 2 weeks prior to surgery.

November 20, 2004. I passed my DE agent's license for life, health and accident. Yippee. I also went and had additional lab work done for the surgery. My lab experiment days are almost over.

November 21, 2004. My friends, Jean and Terry and their son Alex are taking me over to Nicki's house so that I can buy her treadmill. This way I can get my exercise in every day with no excuses. After I got it home, I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes. My knees hurt so bad.

November 22, 2004. I picked up my CPap machine and also a mini food processor. I also picked up my vitamins, calcium, B12, sugar free jello, sugar free instant pudding, applesauce, crystal light and herbal tea. I want to be prepared once I come home from surgery.

Some good news. My weight is now 303. I am down 27 pounds.
Yippee. I got all my clearances. Everything is a go!!

December 3, 2004. My last day at work. Our CA office sent me a beautiful floral arrangement. Everyone is wishing me well, saying they will see me next year. Then it happened. My work was all finished, my desk clear, and it hit me. I am really going to have the surgery. It is here, it is now, the time has come. "Oh my gosh." I have not had time off from work for an extended leave since my daughter was born, 21 years ago. Okay, time to take deep breathes. breathe in....., breathe out...

December 5, 2004 Afer church some of the Councilmen and Trustees pulled me aside to let me know that they were concerned about me and would keep me uplifted in prayer. Many of the ladies also told me that they would be praying for me. I love my church family.

December 5, 2004. This afternoon, I started my clear liquid diet. Sugar free popsicles, sugar free jello, chicken broth, crystal light and herbal tea for the next few days. Now I know what hungry feels like. All the other times, it must have been just want of food.

December 6-7, 2004. Thank you God for chicken broth. I don't know if I would have been able to last on the clear liquid diet without it.

December 8, 2004. Surgery day. Got no sleep last night. I am so excited to begin getting myself in the best possible shape ever stage of my life journey. Lets go and get this done.

December 8, 2004. I get back to my room around 7pm. Everything went okay. I feel good. Took my first walk around the nurses station and then took my pain meds. My friend, Marcie also had the surgery today. She is down the hall from me. Dr. Irgau stopped in and let me know that all went well.

Later in the evening, my friends, Jean and Terry visited. Jean looks so worried about me. She tells me later that I told her not to worry. She also tells me that I told the nurses that they need to have God in their life and that Jesus loves them. I then drifted off to sleep after showing her how I give myself pain medicine.

December 9, 2004. My friends Cathy and Vicki stop by to visit during their lunch break. It was so sweet of them to visit. They bring me the boy scout carmel popcorn with pecans that I ordered a few months ago. I later give the popcorn to the
nurses to enjoy.

Later in the afternoon, my friends, Sue and Pat stop over to visit. Sue gave me a beautiful lace pair of undies and Pat gave me a beautiful tan handmade pillow that has delicate pink roses on it. It looks beautiful on my bed. I don't know if I will ever get the courage to try on the undies. Maybe I could frame them.

My telephone rang thru out the day. Everyone checking in with me to see how I am feeling. The nurses at Christiana Hospital are the best. A volunteer brought me up lots of email good wishes.

Thank you everyone for thinking of me and praying for me.

December 9, 2004. I see Dr. Peters. He said everything looks great and it is time to go home. Music to my ears. He takes out my drain, boy did that feel weird coming out! I can now breathe so much better and easier. My daughter, Michelle arrives to pick me up, I hug the nurses good-bye and am homeward bound.

My bed and I reconnect. I sleep very soundly and have a wonderful dream. It starts with me walking, then waltzing to music and later ice skating with Scott Hamilton.

I feel great. I feel wonderful. I feel so thankful for this second chance. Thank you God.

December 10, 2004. I am coming off the clear liquid diet and starting pureed foods. So far so good. My monthly cycle started sooner than I expected. I am assured by my friend, Tammy, that this is normal after having intestional surgery. It is God's way of making sure that you are not pregnant after the changes that have been made by the surgery.

My best friends, Maryjane and Jean stop over and give me a huge care package filled with books, cds, videos, candles, fuzzy sleepers, and a warm sweatshirt. They can't get over how easily I am getting around. They remind me to take it easy and not overdue it. It was such a nice visit.

December 12, 2004. I decided that I wanted pureed shrimp. I convince my daughter Michelle to take me food shopping. I get the shrimp steamed at the store. The smell is making me feel sick. Surprisingly, after we got home, the smell is no longer a problem and I am able to enjoy some pureed shrimp. Yum.

December 14, 2004. My tummy is doing great on the pureed foods. Everyday, I am trying new foods. Today I made all my follow-up appointments. I am now down to 289 pounds. Wow, I can't believe it. I just did the math. 41 pounds. Yippee, No wonder my knees and hips no longer hurt. Thank you God.

December 15,2004. Today is the anniversary of the first week of having my surgery. Okay I know that sounds a bit crazy, but today was a really good day of firsts. I had my first normal #2. I received my ID bracelet from Lauren's Hope and I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes today without my back, hips or knees hurting. I usually only last for 10 minutes and the pain becomes unbearable. I feel so good. I feel so healthy. Thank you God.

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

I know, I know, it is now February 21st and I have not updated for a long time. Life has just taken over. I am living instead of just existing. I am enjoying life. Since today is President's Day and I am working 5 hours today instead of 7, I have time to finally update my journal.

Dec 18, 2004 My angel, Patty, picked me up to go to the PMRI class titled "New Year, New You." What a great class. I am not used to having people helphing me out. "Thank you, Patty for being the best angel a girl could have!"

Today, my family celebrated my Mom's 70th birthday at Michaels a restaurant in Delaware. This was my first meal out since having surgery. I ordered a small cup of New England clam chowder. It was good. My brother-in law, Warren, did the driving.

Dec 19, 2004 One of my best friends, Jean, came and picked me up for church. It was great to see my church family. "Thank you, Jean, for being there for me and helping me follow doctor's orders." After church, my best friends, Maryjane, Jean and I went to Hollihans in PA for lunch and to exchange Christmas presents. I had a small bowl of cream of potato soup. Yum.

Dec 20, 2004 I see Dr. Peters, an associate of Dr. Irgau's. I am doing great. 18 pounds off since surgery. He tells me to keep up the good work, continue with my exercise and to come back in 2 weeks. I feel fantastic. I have not felt this healthy in a long time.

Dec 21 Today is my Mom's actual 70th birthday. Her blood sugar dropped to 40. She had to stay in Jennersville Hospital for a few days. She was dehydrated and had pneumonia.

Dec 23 What happened!! I woke up this morning aching all over. My whole body is hurting. Today I wrapped Christmas presents. I still need to pick up stocking stuffers. Thinking that maybe my body needed a rest, I didn't exercise today. I am tired in the afternoon.

Dec 24 I am feeling a little better, less stiff and achey. My Mom came home from the hospital. She still doesn't feel well. She is using her oxygeon more and feels cold all the time.

Dec 25 I think that I overate at lunch today. I got a really sick feeling in my stomach that lasted for about an hour. We went to my sister, Linda's house for dinner. Since I am still on pureed foods, I ate a little bit of mashed potatoes and some chopped up green beans. Later, I had some instant hot chocolate with protein.

Dec 27 I think I am getting lazy. I slept til noon. I feel a little low. Not sure why. I didn't even get dressed until the end of the day. Maybe I am getting into a rut. Tomorrow, I am determinded to beat this feeling.

Dec 28 I got up at 8am this morning. I drove down to PA and had lunch with my friend, Maryjane at Ruby Tuesdays. I got a small bowl of the white chicken chili. After lunch, I went and got my hair cut. I don't know what it is about getting my hair cut, but I always feel better afterwards.

Dec 29 Today, Michelle stayed home from work. I took her to the doctors and picked up her presciptions. Today I noticed that I am thinking that I might be hungry when really I am thirsty. This is something that I need to keep a watch on.

Dec 30 Today I noticed that my skin feels really dry. I used lotion on my arms, hands, legs and feet. I mentioned it on the board and the girls suggested that I need to drink more liquids. I think that they are right.

Jan 1 Happy New Year. This is the first year ever that I lost weight over the holidays. 2005 is going to be my year to get healthy. I got weighed this morning and weigh 280.6.

Jan 3 I saw Dr. Peters today. He said that I am continuing to do great. I can start to add non-pureed foods back into my diet. He gave me some sample menus.

Jan 4 I started Phase 1 on the menu plan. I had 2 oz of baked salmon today. My first non-pureed food. It was delicious. I noticed if my food is not pureed, I am able to eat less of it because it fills my pouch quicker.

I got fingerprinted today for my DE agent's life, health and disability licenses. Did you know that fingerprints do not change with weight reduction. Cool, isn't it.

Jan 5 I saw my family doctor, Dr. Peluso today. She was very pleased with my weight loss. She said that I am looking great and doing well. I am off all my meds!!! I no longer have high blood pressure. I am no longer on anti-depressants. I am learning how to handle my emotions and not resort to food to push my feelings down. Since my knees have been bothering me, Dr Peluso agreed with me for me to stop using the treadmill and try water aerobics at the YMCA.

Today, I also saw my dentist, Dr. Rusch. I have a cracked tooth. Since I am still on lovenox, I need to wait another few weeks before I can get my tooth fixed. Dr. Rusch noticed my weight loss. He also told me that I look great.

Later I had dinner with Barb and helped out in the Pioneer Clubs Scooter group at church. This was my first club meeting since I had surgery. It was great to see the boys and girls again.

Jan 6 Today, I saw Julie, the nutritionist at PMRI. She was pleased with my results. I am to continue to add new foods slowly in my diet. She also gave me a sample menu. I found out today that there is not enough iron in the chewable flintstones complete vitamin. Julie suggested that I try taking chewable iron with vitamin c from the Vitamin Shoppe. I picked up a bottle and it tastes pretty good. I also picked up two Lean Body Gold protein bars from the Vitamin Shoppe. I liked the cookie and cream bar the best.

Later in the day, I went to the YMCA. I attempted to swim for about 30 minutes. The class that I signed up for doesn't start until Jan 10th. I got really bad leg cramps from the water being too cold. I don't think that I can do this. Now what am I going to do for exercise. My weight is now 277.8.

Jan 8 Today is my last lovenox shot. Hurray!

Jan 9 Today I just felt like eatting. I wasn't hungry. I think I was really thirsty. I think my body is confusing thirst with hunger. I didn't go overboard. I did keep everything under control. I kept stopping myself and asking myself if I was truly hungry, if I was just bored, or if I was thirsty. Asking myself these questions and being trueful with myself helped me get through the day.

Big news Today I went bra shopping. I went from a 52C to a 48C. I was able to pick up my bras at Kohls.

Jan 10 I went to the PMRI meeting. Dr Irgau did the presentation on "Gastric Bypass- the first three months". Even though this was the third time I heard this topic presented, I learned a lot. My pouch is like a small food container. Food then slowly travels through a small tube (smaller than a pinkie nail) to the small intestine. That is why we feel full and stay full for so long. This was a really interesting class. I saw Debbie and Carmen from my nutrition class. They look great.

Jan 11 This was a really busy day. I started out going to CHRIAS and picking up hot chocolate and soy chips. Then Ellen and I went to Trader Joes. We bought lots of goodies. The prices were really reasonable. "Thank you Ellen for taking me to Trader Joes."

Jan 12 Another day that I spent the whole day out. Today it was for my car. My car needed a new timing belt that would take the whole day to complete. My mechanic dropped me off at the mall. I walked around for about an hour. I picked up my pollyanna gift for work. Later I went to Pioneer Clubs. I got home around 9:30 that night. Boy were my knees hurting.

Jan 13 Another day out. Today I went to my friend's Alice memorial service in the morning. Alice had been diagnosed with cancer just a few weeks ago. I can't believe that she is gone.

Jan 17 My first day back to work. Dr. Peters said that I could return to work one week earlier than originaly planned. So here I am. It felt good to see everyone. Sue, my team leader, kept my work load light by not opening my inbox for the day. I mostly had phone work. But when I got home from work, I was completely exhausted. I skipped dinner and went right to bed.

Jan 18 - Jan 21 I am learning how to get my protein and water in during the day. When I come home from work, I am still completely exhausted. I am collasping into bed. I have not been able to get my exercise in.

Jan 20 My team had our Christmas dinner at Outback Restaurant after work today. They waited for me and Zoe to come back to work before going out for our annual dinner. They also waited for me to go off pureed foods. It was a great night. We exchanged presents. I had my first real restaurant meal. The salmon was delicious. I did take a big portion of my meal home in a container.

Jan 22 Our first major snow storm. I am not allowed to do any shoveling. My knees and hips were bothering me due to the cold. I took the tylenol with codeine for the first time and went to bed early.

Jan 23-24 Where are the kids offering to shovel my snow? I went out, against doctor's orders and shovelled some of the snow. It took two days to get my car and driveway clear. The snow plow company that my development hired is terrible. I even had to shovel the street so that my car would not get stuck in the snow. Thanks to my neighbors for helping me with my shovelling. I would never have been able to do it all without your help.

Jan 29 My best friends, Maryjane and Jean and I exchange our Christmas presents. We started our day having full body massages (gift from Jean) then had our nails done (gift from me) and then had a wonderful lunch at Red Lobster (gift from Maryjane). It was a wonderful day that I wished would never end. It felt great to be pampered all day.

Feb 5 We had our prayer breakfast at church. Maryjane was our guest speaker. Maryjane talked about Pioneer Clubs. To help illustrate, we had a pretend club meeting. Everyone enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun. I found out that bacon bothers me.

Feb 7 Today was a hectic day at work. I felt totally drained. After work I went to the PMRI meeting "Weight loss goals and plateaus". Julie Walenta was the presenter. It was a really good topic and I am glad that I decided that I was worth it and that I went to the meeting.

Feb 11-12 I am going on the Winter retreat that my church has at the Port O Call in Ocean City, NJ. I hadn't planned on going because of the cost, but Mimsie and Dan offered to pay for me to go. I shared a room with my friend, Willa. It was a fantastic weekend. I learned so much. The speaker concentrated on the first 5 books of the Bible. I brought my vitamins and my hot chocolate protein mixes. Food wise I did really good. Exercise wise, I also did well. I walked the boardwalk back and forth one time and didn't need to rest on the benches. What a difference since having my surgery. Last spring when Maryjane and Jean and I went down Ocean City for the day we had to constantly stop for me to rest.

Feb 16 Tonight was our Pal Gal party over at Faith Baptist Church. I got to see my gal, Debbie. She is now in the 6th grade and her last year of Pioneer Clubs. She is now taller than me. We made plans to have our nails done in March to make up for the meeting that I missed in December.

Feb 19 I am finally going to get my cracked tooth fixed. I got to the dentist's office at 9am. I am not sure if it was the novocaine shot or the working on my tooth, but after my appointment my stomach felt really naucous and I got sick. I got a temporary filling and will be going back to the dentist to get the permanent filling in a few weeks.

Feb 21 President's Day. In honor of the day, my company is allowing us to work 5 hours instead of our normal 7 3/4 hours. So today, I finally got caught up on my journal. My weight is now 258. I am down 72 pounds since I started my journey, 42 pounds since the day of my surgery.

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

FUTURE UPDATE HERE

FUTURE UPDATE HERE