SarahI
Dreaded picture
Jan 27, 2013
well i uploaded my dreaded picture, and while my lovely children are finally cleaning their rooms or no sledding tonight, i am gonna take my measurements. I have never done this my whole entire life. I guess i don't know what normal should be, but i want to know what i am before i start losing so in case i can't see myself where i am losing, i will see it in the measurements. I have been kind of irritated lately, but i think its because i know my change is coming but i wonder how much will be appreciated. or maybe i am doing my nesting again. This winter has been cold, very very cold. I am sick of being cooped up in the house. I try to get my walking in but this last 2 weeks has been sub zero temps. too damn cold for me to want to endure. i still do the elliptical but it is not the same as the fresh air. I have cleaned my house top to bottom, aside from the kids rooms, (i refuse to do it again, hence why they are doing it or we are not going sledding). So i am bored again, so i decide to take a Sarah moment and post something.
i have not told many people about my upcoming surgery, but those i found that those i did tell can't seem to understand why i would want to cheat and take the easy way out. And that just pisses me off, so i keep it to myself. My bf Ed used to be one of the people who would say that, until he has seen me struggle with my weight. When we met i weighed 145-150. He knew me before my then weight loss but i was married, and a totally different time for both of us. Now fast forward 6 years, i knew i didn't want to get pregnant, (my daughters i love very much, but i figure 2 children are enough, plus they keep me busy), so i decided to rid myself of my IUD, and have the essure procedure done. Even tho Ed was fixed (lol i laugh just thinking about that term) it wasn't necessary, but i was having other issues of (TMI) heavy bleeding so i was told this would help. So they put me on unnecessary birth control, and then i break my ankle not long after that. So i contribute my weight gain to both those incidences. not sure if either are part but since then i have gain 100 pounds. but anywho, Ed has seen me struggle with trying to do diets, exercise, without anything working. So when i looked into WLS, i didn't tell him about it until the night i was going to the seminar. I knew i had to tell him, how else was i going to explain me wanting to go somewhere but not telling him what it is. so i told him about the seminar, and surprisingly he was so supportive. We talked about how i feel, about how he felt, and the impact all this has had on our lives the last 3 years. So here i sit, pouring out all my thoughts, and i am not sure i really made sense of it all but i feel better for writing it down. so now i will grab my measurements and wait for my surgery to see the difference. I am anxious, and extremely nervous. i have been thru many ups and downs but this is the first one i have done that is truely going to better my life in the most positive way.
