Sheephly I Write in Celebration...

Nov 15, 2011

As I just popped onto OH to do my usual checking in with folks, seeing how everyone is doing, I wasn't even going to be blogging, until... I just got off the phone with the office of the Plastic Surgeon I was scheduled to see in February, key word - WAS.  I was told there was a cancellation, if I didn't mind dealing with rush hour morning traffic, Dr. Paige would like to meet me December 20th - a month and a half sooner than I was scheduled.

Laughingly, I thought to myself, "Why did I only ask to be seen in Federal Way???'  Which is a suburb of Seattle, and little to no traffic for me to deal with, but the surgeon only comes to Federal Way twice a month.  I did agree to change my appointment date & time, and actually have a friendly voice to MEET on December 20th - as I had a fun conversation while making the appointment!

Part of me is apprehensive, "Am I jumping the gun?"  "Is this surgeon going to tell me something I don't want to hear?" Is this really going to happen - SOON?"  Believe it or not, no matter how positively I attempt to live, fear and negativity does try to creep in.  Damn it!  I am going to celebrate that I have worked very hard for this appointment, and hopefully Dr Paige will agree and look forward to having me as his patient!  The worst thing he can tell me is NO.  The second worst thing is NOT YET  So, in the grand scheme of things, how is it any different from just wondering IF?  Yup, sometimes I am a scardey cat, but then I stop myself, ask why, then usually face what ever it is I am afraid of.  Next time you have one of those, "I can't; I'm afraid" moments, just think of Brenda standing next to you, telling you to "GO FOR IT!"

Yup, it is starting to sink in, I am actually a little overwhelmed with emotion, but don't tell anyone!  I hate to admit I have warm and fuzzy feelings, I spend way too much time keeping my shoulders squared, head held high, to admit that I do get misty eyed from certain topics.  My life has been one of self reliance, so it is hard to allow anyone to help me along in my journey, sad but true.  I am learning how, really, and part of the reason I spill all my thoughts out here, is to maybe make one other person understand that feelings are what make us human. 

I haven't even told anyone else this cool news.  I am excited, a little freaked -- "Will I finally be getting rid of my FUP?!"  Something that (no pun intended) has been a big part of my life may finally be GONE - wow.  Yup, that was a little wow, because I still haven't heard the "Okee Dokee" from Doc Paige... Hey Seattle, are you ready for me???  I'll be driving to Pill Hill bright and early on Tuesday, December 20th, and I will bring extra Kleenex with me!

Now, I guess I should message my boyfriend, as he has been here for the whole journey and deserves to be told!  The next text will go to my Weight Loss Buddy, as she said she would go anywhere with me, even into Seattle, maybe I can use the commute lane that day...  I'll keep positive thoughts, and I usually don't ask this, but anyone wanting to toss some positive energy my way, I would appreciate it!

Wiping a tear as I sign off --
Brenda : )~

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