Commitment...

Jul 09, 2012

I think I figured out that all the things that are important to me have one thing in common: Commitment.

First off, I want to say that after the Olympic Diving Trials has finally "left the building," I am happily back in my usual pool, and I finally gave myself a treat for being committed to this whole process.  What was the gift?  I got something I have wanted for over a year now, but was just too much of a tight wad to "invest" in - Finis Bone Conductive SwiMP3 Player (not really a plug, more informative to folks wanting to rock out while swimming).

Mile marked today, 368!  Yup, on my way to 600, one day at a time.  The commitment thing I spoke of earlier is going to tie in, I swear, just keep reading.  Being active isn't always what I want to do every day, but I know if I do not swim, I will slowly start gaining weight.  Once you are over a year out, most folks taper off the weight loss, and the only thing that works for me is exercise.  Five days a week, I have a commitment to my health to swim, which is a good deal.  When I start to backslide, all I have to do is pull out my phone and look at myself on the beach at 474 pounds - works every time.

Having to write down every bite of food is a pain sometimes, but again, going back to my commitment to be healthy, it keeps me accountable.  Yes, I even mark down the 12 macadamia nuts I just "had to have," 115 calories that I have to account for.  I used to use pen to paper, then moved to the laptop, but in the day of the "smart phone," there is an "app" for that.  If I did not write down each bite I take, I already know what I do -- I underestimate what all I have eaten... Ever look up what the average "Happy Meal" has nutritionally?  I used to think that because I ate a kids portion of food, I was doing all right.  Nope.  If you are like me, I LOVE to see how my "numbers" end up at the end of the week -- how did I use my nutritional math to my advantage -- how can I do better?

Commitment to myself and others, that brings me to the important subject of support.  After feeling less than myself for close to two months, I considered what I was doing that impacted others around me.  Maybe folks take it for granted that there will be support group meetings whether they attend or not. When you are the one running them, you have to show up.  In a month, I attend two meetings in person, and lead two more, but I just had no one signing up to attend, so I dropped the ball.  It took a month before folks noticed, and I still just kept my head down and said I would come back when I felt better.  Well folks, when you are setting up things, you need to feel "up" all of the time.  Health does effect our mood, so I needed to commit to getting two iron infusions to improve how I was feeling physically and mentally.

Committing to getting your blood work done regularly may seem like something that isn't as important to some, but in my case, after surgery I had become anemic.  I will beat a pot loudly to make others hear me - take your supplements and have your doctor check you for deficiencies.  I feel great again, physically, and frankly my over all mood is improving!

Committing to take care of myself is pretty important, as if I am not well, my home & life seems to fall apart.  Trust me, daily chores when done regularly is so much easier than one, big, overwhelming project!  This is when I go back to telling folks that if you do something 21 days in a row, it becomes habit.  If you miss a day, then start the 21 days over -- it really will not effect you, trust me.  I have been on the same 21 days a few years now, and I am happier when I have a routine to follow.

Believe it or not, I feel a sense of commitment to all my doctors - and my nurses.  My main doctor has been behind me way before I decided I needed more help to get my health back, so I see her every couple of months to show her my progress.  My bariatric surgeon gave me his time and expertise, so I will give him back the next couple of years of my life to show he did not waste his time on me.  My reconstructive surgeon gave me ease of movement, so I am committed to show others that I am not wasting the new physical capabilities I have been given.  If that seems odd to you, just imagine what it would be like to have 18 pounds of loose flesh swaying every move you make, removed.  I will continue to work on my body, as I do not like being a wasteful person -- if you got it, use it!  Being able to move more easily, well I now love moving all day long.  Many folks think that after a year or so they can just live a "normal" life, but in my case I know I have to continue working on mine.

Having a positive attitude can come easily, if you are willing to change how you react and face your own life.  There are moments I would prefer to not interact with others, but I force myself.  I decided as a kid, that being isolated was not healthy, that if I can bring a smile on at least one other person's face, it also brings one to mine.  Trust me, I know what negative feels and looks like, and frankly, it isn't attractive to me.  Willing to say hello to ten strangers a day is not always easy, but if you try it, you will find YOU smile and maybe make a new friend.  When I was young, I was fat, but I decided that if I was the best person I could be, then I had few complaints.  Some fat kids are isolated, I was the opposite.  Being the first to volunteer to do things opens you up to meeting more people, and learning how to do more things.

I am making my commitment to write in my blog more regularly, as I just feel behind and it has been hard to dig my way back out.  One of the commitments I made when I started making friends on OH is that I ALWAYS respond to every email -- I will be working on my back log, but know that I will not forget anyone!  Find something YOU want to commit to, and do it!

Stay Positive!
Brenda : )~

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