Larissa P.

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And it made me sick. I mean...I was going to put them in my profile but I am not ready.

I wore black stretch pants and a black tank top (something I'd NEVER wear in public) to more contrast every fat bulge, every contour.

And I was appalled.

Really, I think we all have a defense mechanism that keeps us from looking TOO closely at our obese bodies because it would hurt too much. We wear loose clothing in a futile attempt to smooth out the lines, to hide them.

My face was ... hideous. So fat, double chinned, couldn't fine my neck. Plus at 39, my skin isn't what it used to be and I had circles under my eyes and the beginnings of crow's feet. It just made other flaws I always imagined I had (long nose with a bump, an ugly mole or two, big earlobes) look like they were standing out even more. Even my lips looked thinner and lopsided. I wanted to cry.

My arms - I always knew they were huge. I've had to cope with being embarrassed at the doctor's office as they try to find a blood pressure cuff that would fit, or having a hard time finding even "women" sized clothes that weren't tight on my arms... But they looked like big balloons above my elbows.

My stomach was fatter than I had ever imagined and sticked out farther than my boobs... My butt, which I always imagined sticking out so much, was flatter and wider than I though, giving me fears of a future flat butt and big saddle bags... My legs were like fat tree trunks. Fat rolls above and inside the knees meant not only did my thighs touch, but my legs all the way to my knees touched...

I'm not going to be able to post these pictures until I have something showing me smaller...something to contrast them too. But I had to get this emotional moment off my chest. Because I know that I am not the only one who has reacted this way, or will in the future.

This is something I know I will leave behind me forever soon. I'm choked up thinking about it.

I got my plan, man!

I'm an obsessive list maker. So, with Excel spreadsheets and my Outlook calander, I've plotted out each stage of my pre-surgery preparation.

A few months ago, back in November, I started a strict vitamin regimine. First, I wanted to make sure my levels were perfect going into surgery (so to prevent tanking in that first hard month after when my vitamins might not be so easy to take). Second, I wanted to get practice in for the regimine I will have to follow for the rest of my life. I created a schedule that would mimic my post-op one, but in pre-op quantities:

Vitamin	Dose/Day	Waking	Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner	Bedtime
Mulivitamin	1x Day	X
Vitamin D	2000 IU				X
Calcium Citrate +D	315 mg + 400 IU	X	X	X	X
Iron	65 mg					X
Vitamin C	500 mg					X
B Complex	1x Day		X
Vitamin B12	1x Day sublingual					X
Chromium	800 mg			X

I added the extra chromium because in my experience it dramatically lowers my sugar cravings. That would prepare in advance for diet changes.

On Jan 1st, I started my next step - protein loading! Again, both to make sure I have adequete protein stored up ahead of time, and to practice eating "protein aware" after surgery. I have been slowly switching my carb foods for protein ones. For instance, instead of M&Ms snack, I've stocked the fridge at work with string cheese. Instead of carb-laden fast food and frozen dinners, I'm stocking pre-cooked chicken breasts (the kind they sell ready made for sandwiches) and eating my ramen noodles with two eggs scrambled and cooked inside.

In addition, I've started one to two protein shakes a day. I discovered a good tasting really inexpensive brand at Wal-Mart:

 

$13.99 for a 2 pound can, 27 grams of quality whey protein, and 3 carbs per scoop. w00t! So far I've tasted the Cookies-N-Cream and Strawberry flavors and like them. I mix them with an in-th-cub hand blender with Half-N-Half for a creamier flavor and less carbs. Hope I like it post-surgery, too!

One thing I am having problems with: exercising. Sure, I DO feel better and have more energy now that I've been taking vitamins and protein like a good girl, but I haven't miraculously found the motivation to move. I'm still as slovenly as ever. Maybe confessing to my crime will help....

On Monday, it will be my 30 day count down. And then I get serious. On Monday, I have vowed to drop ALL sugar from my diet, including fruit and milk sugars (natural). After 10 days of sugar free, I will then go low-carb. I have planned that day to be on a Thursday, so when I get that full carb-withdrawl crash, it will be the weekend and I can spend two days napping to get through it if I have too.

After 10 days of low carb, it will be time to start the liquid-only pre-diet my doctor has requested. Obviously, I''ve got my protein shakes, but I ordered some Unjury protein chicken broth to break up the monotomy of sweet drinks. I'm trying to come up with some other ideas, such as sugar-free jello and puddings, etc, to keep me going.

Then, of course - surgery! My plans don't stop there!

I'm pre-ordering all the Bariactric Advantage supplements for immediate post-op. It's way more expensive, but they have the high-ADEK chewables, iron chewables, calcium lozenges and more formulated for tender tummys. When that supply runs out, I'll be bargain and volume shopping to save money at other sites such as Vitacost, and of course, Vitalady!

So far, in my bargain hunting and price comparison shopping, this is what I have found for the best cost and quality for my planned post-op vitamin regime:

Vitamin	Dose/Day	Waking	Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner	Bedtime
Multivitamin	2x RDV	X				X	Local - Wal-Mart
Vitamin A	25,000 IU		X				Source Naturals Vitamin A -- 10000 IU - 250 Tablets
Vitamin D	50,000 IU			X			Vitalady Tender Dry Vitamin D3-50 50,000IU 100 caps/btl
Vitamin E	400 IU				X		Jarrow Formulas Dry E-400 -- 400 IU - 100 Capsules
Vitamin K	100 mcg			X			Country Life Vitamin K-1 -- 100 mcg - 100 Tablets
Calcium Citrate	2400 mg	X	X	X	X		Twinlab Calcium Citrate Plus Magnesium -- 250 Capsules
Iron	150 mg					X	Thompson Ideal Iron™ -- 50 mg - 60 Tablets
Vitamin C	1000 mg					X	Source Naturals Vitamin C -- 1000 mg - 250 Tablets
Copper	6 mg					X	Source Naturals Copper Sebacate -- 22 mg - 120 Tablets
Vitamin B12	5000 mcg Sublingual					X	Source Naturals MethylCobalamin B12 Cherry -- 5 mg - 120 Sublingual Tablets
B Complex	2x B-Complex		X		X		Jarrow Formulas B-Right -- 100 Capsules
Zinc	50 mg	X					Twinlab Zinc -- 50 mg - 180 Capsules
ProBiotics	Dairy		X		X		Local - The Cubbard (Health Food)

I DID mention I'm a compulsive-obsessive list maker, right?


So, what do you guys think? Am I missing anything or do I have all my bases covered?

There are several reasons, despite a bit of a reputation for not dealing with surgery complications very well.

1.  He is going to give me lap DS for the same price I can get open DS with Ungson. This will help in my recovery, etc. I have to get back to work and my kids right away, I don't have the luxury being a single mom to take a long time to recuperate.

2.  I can have friends come and watch over my in TJ, no one can come with me to Hermosillo.

3.  I'll be close to American hospitals in San Diego in case anyting should happen, I won't be close to the American border in Hermosillo.

4.  I feel an opportunity to report first hand on Dr Huacuz and his surgical center - something that can help others make an honest decision, as well.

5.  I've confirmed he has done over 200 DS surgeries - he prefers lap - and no deaths.

*edit - 1 year later - this was the WORSE decision I ever made - read on.