Small victories

Nov 07, 2010

Monday of this week I had a luncheon meeting at the Racquet Club - a stodgy power broker type of place on the top floor of Dayton's talllest building.  I went to put on a pair of slacks that were tight before surgery.  Way too baggy, so I tossed them in the donation stack...along with the other two pairs I had like them in different colors.  Then the problem became - no other dress pants to wear.   So I found a pair of jeans I ordered online that had been too small to wear and they fit.  Fortunately they were brand new and black so I could dress them up. 

So I moved to jackets and they were too big - so the black, purple and torquoise ones went in the stack.  I moved to sweater sets - too big.   I rehab houses so I don't have an extensive collection of professional clothes - I'm usually in jeans.   So I had to settle on a red wool jacket that was still too big, but not as bad as the ones in the stack.  I was still wearing the boot for the tendonitis so it drew attention away from the jeans.  What a mess.  I was 20 minutes late for the luncheon, but since it was a group of 8, they were still chatting and I didn't miss much.   What a great problem to have.

One of my reasons for WLS was I was tired of not fitting comfortably in seats at UD basketball games and of spilling over onto the seats & people around me.  We went to an exhibition game last night and I looked at my hubby and said "look, I fit".  I was so excited I had a huge grin on my face for about 5 minutes.  Then I leaned over and said "if it's this good at 50# lost, I wonder what it'll feel like in another 50#?"  He just cracked up while I sat there grinning from ear to ear.

I feel like my self esteem is rising from the ashes.  It still needs dusted off a bit, but I no longer fixate on how fat I am.  I still have 80# to lose, but for once, I know I will lose it.  I no longer feel trapped, I know the weight on the scale today will be history next week.  So even if I don't necessarily like the way something looks on me today, I know it is only temporary.   That fact alone is just so liberating. 

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