Suite1
Normal sized clothing
Jan 01, 2011
OK, this is something I wasn't really prepared for. I've read about skipping over sizes and didn't think that was possible, but it seems I have gone from 18s to 14s. Which is probably a good thing because I only have one pair of 16 jeans in my closet and don't really like the color - but I do have two pairs of 14s. I went through most of my clothes about a month ago and got rid of a lot, but held on to some things because they were comfy. They are really too big so I'll do another round of purging and donating.So here's the thing...the one pair of 16s fits like the two pairs of 14s and I'm running out of clothes so I'm going to have to go shopping. Normally I'm an online shopper I've been able to figure out which brands fit and which don't - but those have been plus sized brands. I feel like I really need to go out and try things on now and you'd think I'd be excited about finally being in normal sized clothing.
Instead, it's kinda freaking me out a bit. I've always found sales clerks in plus sized stores to be very helpful - maybe because they know clothes shopping is not a pleasant experience when you're obese so they go out of their way to be more accommodating. My last, distant and fading memories of shopping in normal clothing stores, were not pleasant. I found the typical sales clerk to be some young, skinny, inexperienced thing with no social filters. I don't know if I'll ever shop in Victoria's Secret again because the last time the little (#*&# told me I should consider shopping at Lane Bryant instead.
Toss in a fear of what if the size 14s I have on are a fluke and I go into a normal store and nothing fits? Talk about a fear of rejection. It's so unfamiliar to me - I don't know where to go for talls, which company specializes in what styles. I don't like shopping in the first place. But what I'm finding is the thought of wearing a size 14 feels very different coming from shrinking out of a size 18 than it does from outgrowing a pair of 12s. I could go for my fallback position of shopping online, but given clothes that I bought the end of November no longer fit me the end of December, I don't want to waste time or money on things that don't fit right now.
So I talked to my WLS Shrink about it and he encouraged me to find a good chunk of time to devote to trying on a variety of clothing in more than just one size, he says it'll help with my overall body image issues. He also pointed out the very obvious fact that I am the customer and 1) I don't have to put up with snotty sales clerks and 2) I don't have to settle for just anything, I can take my time to find things that really flatter my body at this point in time. He's encouraging me to try to dial back my anxiety from previous shopping experiences, but not set my expectations too high so that I'm disappointed. Whoever thought I'd need shopping therapy!!!
What I realize is that this somewhat ties to a bigger picture of wanting to figure out what to do with the next part of my life. I turn 50 in February so the thought crosses my mind a lot, and then there's the fact that it is a new year. I know when it comes to my house, I'm ready to declutter and clean closets & drawers and organize and get rid of stuff I don't really love or need. I'm looking at some of the boards I serve on and am figuring out which ones to resign from. I know that is symbolic of wanting to shed the excess pounds and the habits that led to being so overweight in the first place.
So while the shopping for clothes in regular stores appears to be the issue, it's really not. I've been obese for most of the last two decades. Being thin and healthy again is not something I'm really used to in my adult years, so that will take some getting used to. I'm at a crossroads in my life. I sense there is a new beginning, but I can't quite see what the future holds. Shedding the excess weight and the excess clutter in my life is part of the preparation...but for what?!?!
I'm trying to allow myself to feel the various emotions and not go too quickly into problem solving mode. I'm trying to pay attention to my intuition and to signs pointing me in the right direction. I'm trying not to analyze it too much and I'm also trying not to avoid new situations just because they make me uncomfortable. But in some ways, this is all very trying to my nerves. What a journey this is turning out to be!
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About Me
Dayton, OH
Location
21.6
BMI
Surgery
09/14/2010
Surgery Date
Jul 02, 2010
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
280lbs
150lbs
