Summer R.
Officially a Size 16!
Nov 04, 2012
So yesterday, I was able to put on, fasten and zip up WITHOUT a) laying on the bed or b) sucking it in or c) having a muffin top a pair of size 16 jeans!!! I haven't been a 16 since 2005! I then put on the new black scoop necked long sleeve tshirt I bought in an XL and holy moly that fit too! No more XXL or XXXL!!! I did a beautifully ridiculous happy dance all the way around my bedroom. It felt fabulous! I got complimented everywhere I went yesterday! YAY!
On a medical front, all the chest pain I've been associating with my surgery is in fact NOT RELATED! Apparently my general anxiety disorder has skyrocketed and launched panic disorder...are you kidding me?!?! And are we ready for the things that are triggering the panic attacks? Drinking anything is the number one trigger. I apparently was so afraid of overdoing it and hated the pain in the beginning that this is the result. Other triggers include: the grocery store, loud busy spaces, crowds, and shopping. So when these panic attacks hit I feel everything from what I consider the baby attacks...an elephant sitting on my chest, shortness of breath, muscle tension and spasms and lightheadedness all the way up to the Big Daddy attacks where I'm pretty sure my death is iminent due to a heart attack. The physical symptoms are insane! The latest physical symptom of these attacks that is driving me bonkers...Chills. I will be perfectly fine temperature wise and then BAM, I'm freezing, my teeth are chattering, my muscles are spasming and I look like I'm having convulsions. And no amount of heat or blankets or anything stops them, I just have to ride it out. Very miserable. But I'm happy to know that it isn't something I'm doing to my pouch or that my pouch is doing to me lol.
I'm still calling my pouch Iron Man. So far he's never let me down. I can pretty much eat anything I want with no ill effects much to the disgust of my friends who have had the surgery previously. I have learned, the hard way, that just because I can doesn't mean I should. While I may be able to eat as I like, when I eat like I shouldn't my weight loss stalls. No bueno! So I have to make daily efforts to eat what I should and not what I want. I've also noticed that I can eat up to just under 3 ounces without feeling bad.
I normally have some variation of meat and cheese and egg for breakfast about 30 minutes after I drink a glass of milk. Which puts my normal breakfast routine at over 30g of protein. I try to get in a string cheese snack sometime before lunch for another 7g, and then have 10oz of Isopure RTD hell for the next 20g. Then I tend to have a lunchable for lunch normally 9-10g of protein. Then maybe some sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds or other tasty snack in the afternoons normally between 3-9g more of protein. And then a Smart Ones or Lean Cuisine or something of that nature for dinner for another 9g. I sometimes even follow that up with a night snack of milk and then a Special K Pastry Crisp or other 100 calorie snack that feeds the sweet tooth giving me another 10-13g. When I'm a good girl and following this routine I take in over 90g of protein during the day. When I'm difficult I ditch the Isopure and get around 70g So either way I'm doing ok.
My biggest problem still is getting my fluids in! With the time restraints on when I can and cannot drink it's hard enough and now that I'm having panic attacks about it I don't want to drink at all. But I'm trying trying trying!
When I reach the 50lb lost mark I've decided to gift mysel an hour long massage! I'm hoping that will be motivation will help me shed this next 14lbs with a quickness lol.
I finally figured out a way to go to a gym! My mom's homeowner's association has a small gym next to their pool. So she gave me the key to that and I plan on starting there today! I also finally got my MP3 player fixed so walking will be much more entertaining. My adorable foster dog, Bob, is very excited that we'll be going for walks lol. My big boy MJ will gladly stay at home as he thinks walking on a leash is torture. I'm ready to up the activity level! For the last few weeks since I've returned to work and school I've been taking the stairs and not the elevator. And finally this past week I can jog up the stairs and not feel like I'm gonna die when I get there. That was where I wanted to be before launching Operation Gym Rat! lol.
So thats whats been going on the last little bit. I'm trying to keep this updated so I have a log of what I went through when and whatnot, but I'm also in the planning stages of a WLS Journey Scrapbook, my daughter is having her 12th birthday on the 8th, followed by a party this weekend. Plus I'm still going to school full time and working part time and being a mom and oh yeah someone has to do laundry and clean the house and take care of the dogs lol. I'm going to sign off here and get to work on creating the new schedule which allows time for Operation Gym Rat! Yes, I'm that anal and organized!
