My Fat Head gets in my way

Jan 11, 2014

Six month in and have found that you can lose the weight but the old habits want to live.a  I now call it my "Fat Head". It is a struggle to go to the store. The old me in my fat head wants to pick up items that I use to eat.  They suddenly are in my cart, do not remember how they got there or so I say.  It is my Fat Head.  It wants what I use to eat.  But the funny thing is I cannot eat it.  So sometimes I win and put it back before I go the register sometimes my Fat Head takes over and I do not notice it until I get home, which fat head is happy about.  Again cannot eat it really cannot because if does not taste good or hurts my pouch.  So, I give it to my son.  Which he should not be eating as well. I have found that I am wasting money because I realize this and throw it out before giving it to my son or trying to eat it myself.  I find that I am craving carbs, dam them carbs.  They just pull me in sometimes, so I look for better alternatives.  What I try to do is when feeling like I need a carb I pull out my Van's protein waffle and add my peanut butter to it and I get my carb fix and got protein in as well. I was stuck in my old head. The surgery fixed the stomach size but it does not fix the head.  I need to work at it everyday.  It is a chore I will not give up or in.  I am close to 200 pounds now.  I have not seen that since I was in 7 grade. That is a long time.  I put on clothes and see that they are big on me now and think wow I really was big.  Why did I not see it. I was in such a place that I never thought that size 24 was big.  I was heading to size 26 and did not like that one bit.  These days my blood pressure is still awesome, my sugar is perfect. I feel good but need to remember to take my vitamins.  Recently I started to lose hair, I found out that I was not having enough protein.  So I am starting again to watch closely to make sure I am doing what I am suppose to do.  My biggest challenge is my Fat Head - but like my surgeon pointed out to me, I realized it. Most people do not realize the fat head so at least I know my short coming and will deal with it head on.  If you realize what makes you fall, get up and fight.  This is your life and you deserve to live.  I look forward to this summer because I plan on doing things that I would have not done being 280.  Life is too short to put it on hold. 

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