Day of errands

Mar 04, 2010

Well I didn't get ANY exercising in today. I'm too tired now and just don't feel like it!

My eating today has been VERY bad! UGH!! I have been eating stuff that is high calorie and not good for me. I know, everyone has those days. But dang it!! I soo want to be better then this! I want to have CONTROL of my eating and not let it control me. When will that happen?? HOW does it happen? When does that switch flip in the brain?!?! Come on...get with the program mental state!! I've spent my life since the age of 22 yrs old being fat! I'm sick and tired of it!! I want my life and body back!!

I am really tired today. I was woken up at SEVEN damn am and then the kids dental office called me at 7:30am in the friggen morning?!?! I mean WHO calls that dang early?? It's insane. And then I had to get the kids up for school and take Kaleb in to have his cast removed and get his foot x-rayed to have ready for his actual appointment with the doc tomorrow.

I then had an appointment for me with my PCD to see about my high blood pressure (but sure enough as soon as they took my blood pressure it was only 130 versus the 150ish that it ALWAYS is when I go see my surgeon, can you tell I don't feel comfy around him?? hehe) and I had to take Kaleb since they didn't want him walking any more then possible. So I couldn't go walking the dog and leave him alone. Cause of course he'd be running up and down the stairs and hopping all around! hehe

Just an off evening. Maybe I have been pushing too hard? I just soo want to get everything right and do everything right and I want to suceed!! I am tired of failing to lose weight and being tired and inactive. Tomorrow is my third C25K day and I'm soo excited to be doing it!  I hope to do it again for 30 minutes like I did yesterday. Anything to help get healthy quickly.

I just have to get these cravings and head hunger under control.  I'm resisting the chips sitting in the pantry right now. hehe It's going ok. I gave in and had a granola bar with peanut butter on it. At least if I'm gonna be weak I might as well get some protein out of it!! lol And Nature Valley is one of the healthier granolas out there.

Gonna finish watching my Star Trek: Voyager show and then going to bed. I really am super tired. My head even hurts.

I have been making sure to get my protein in and my water. Plus exercising. I just hope it's enough. I have to be stronger and have greater will power to resist those processed white flour and sugar foods. Those high carb foods. I soo don't need them!! But damnit if habits aren't hard to break!! UGH!! 27 days is how many days it takes to break a habit, as long as you have a good habit to replace it with. So what should I reach for instead of food? That is the question. I have gum I do use that for my late afternoon cravings.

I am really rather disappointed that I seem to be able to eat quite a bit of food. I'd say almost a cup if not a full cup. I'm only three weeks out! I read all these posts about people that can only eat a FEW BITES...and I'm thinking, "man, I can eat a LOT."  I know I know...don't compare myself to anyone else, but dang it's HARD not to!

I'm still here and still pushing forward. I WILL do better tomorrow. That's the main point. Do better each day. Do better. Do better. Focus more and get healthy. Reach the peak and enjoy the view! With God's help I will. When weak I will turn to Him and lean on Him so He can strengthen me.

As a child who knows nothing I shall bow to His wisdom and humble myself before His will in all things.

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