First Steps

Jul 02, 2015

I have completed a couple things for my VSG medical clearance so far, now I need to be released from the nutritionist and the shrink. I also have an EKG, H. Pylori, Bone density and Exercise evaluation. It all seems like so much but I have 4 more appointments between now and August 11th and then it's just the waiting game for my surgery date. I really cannot be more excited and terrified. I am so ready for change. I've lost 26 pounds since the first discussion with my PCP about the surgery, I've gotten way more active and I'm even pushing through the pain most days because I'm tired of not being able to do every day tasks with my back pain. I'm 27 years old, I shouldn't need my boyfriend to help me get dressed in the mornings because I can't bend over without wanting to be sick. We've been walking A LOT. In fact, this program has been a great excuse to get both of us out of the house and we get to enjoy doing more things together. We've been to the park, the flea market, the farmers market, and there is an art festival coming up that we will be walking around. Two months ago I couldn't have said that -- I could barely get out of a chair, much less walk around and enjoy the warm weather. My left leg was burning, my toes were going numb and my left hip felt like someone was taking an electric sander to my joint. I may be in pain from time to time but nothing like before, and I can honestly say that I am really looking forward to being able to do more things without pain. I can't say that there are many times that I'm uncomfortable with my body, I am very comfortable in my skin -- that has never really been a driving factor for the decision to have VSG. Now having said that, I would love to be able to fit in normal size clothing instead of Plus sizes (If not just to get rid of the awful patterns they feel they need to put on big people). However, honestly, my decision to pursue surgery was and is much more about being fit. I am returning to college after a year and a half break to continue my studies toward a marine biology degree, in order to land most of these jobs I have to be physically fit and capable of SCUBA diving -- something that I am far from being able to do right now. I have been passionate about sea life since I was a child and the diagnosis with my back really sent me into a tailspin. I couldn't stand, let alone do a job that was physically demanding. Even my fall back career was being jeopardized by the news. I finally found what I consider to be my purpose and I was going to have to change everything I wanted because I allowed my weight to take over. It was the most disheartening thought that had ever crossed my mind. I am going into this because I want to be healthier; because I want to surf and paddle-board and SCUBA dive and hike and whitewater raft. Of course it will be nice to look better, to buy clothes from stores that I've never been able to walk into. It will be amazing to fit in my bath tub, and a booth at a restaurant, and a plane seat...but honestly, I want to live longer. I want to be able to play with my children when I finally decide to have them. I want to be able to enjoy life instead of sitting on the sidelines because I'm morbidly overweight. I want to enjoy the beauty that the earth has to offer with the people I love the most. I want my life back. Now it's just time to take the first steps...

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