4ferme
I am 39 years old, weigh +/- 240. I hate getting on the scale. Some days, I feel good but after I weigh myself I get depressed. I have battled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I remember being in the first grade when someone told me how fat I was. I was crushed. I didn't know I was fat.
I have been to Weight Watchers many times since age 11. I have tried just about every diet, including Atkins, Nutri System, counting calories, counting fat grams, counting carbs. Not to mention, I have spent thousands of dollars trying every weight loss "miracle" pill, herb or vitamin. A few years ago, a doctor prescribed phentermine. The phentermine made me sooooo moody. Somedays I felt out of control. Not the way I wanted to feel with three small children. I stopped taking the phentermine and soon gained all the weight back.
At my current weight of 240 lbs. I have started having side effects from my weight. Joint/muscle pain, stress incontinence, getting out of breath easily, heartburn and fatigue from trying to haul this weight around all day. I do home daycare and by the end of the day I am exhausted. I hate myself for wanting to eat all the time and allowing myself to be so overweight, I get mad because I am so uncomfortable and embarrassed to have sex with my husband. I don't feel like a woman.
I am currently in a size 20. I have clothes that range from size 12 all in plastic containers in my basement.
Before I knew if my insurance company was going to cover the cost of the surgery, I was afraid to get excited. I was afraid to dream of what it might be like to be thinner. I knew if I was denied my husband would not go for financing the surgery. He believes anorexics need to just eat, bulemics need to knock it off and overweight people need to just stop overeating. Needless to say he has never had a weight problem. In fact, he has a hard time keeping weight on.
People think I want the surgery so I can look twenty again. Yeah right - those days are over. What I want is to be able to pick up my child and not wet myself. To be able to cut my toenails without struggling to keep my leg up. Little things that average weight people aren't even aware of. I want to feel like a woman and feel desireable to my husband - not like a big ugly blob. I can't wait to have the surgery and make the lifelong changes necessary. I feel this surgery is the tool I have been looking for. I am a professional dieter, I can lose the weight but I know I just can't keep it off.
1/8/05 - Yeah!! Felix called today. The insurance company has approved my surgery. I have a pre-op. class on 1/26 and a scheduled endoscopy on 1/28. My surgery is schedule for 2/8. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. My journey to a healthier lifestyle is beginning.
2/10/05 - home from the hospital. Feel really good - not hungry. Loved my doctor but the hospital staff could use some training in how to treat their obese patients.
2/17/05 - First post-op. check up. Down 13 lbs. Doc told me my band was very loose and not to be to concerned with the diet until have my first fill.
2/19/05 - Now 11 days post-op. Hungry more and more. Trying to stick to soups and yogurts.
3/8/05 - One month post-op. Went for one-month check up. Weighed 224. I told the doctor that I was eating a lot more than I wanted to. I told him I was a little jealous of the people in his waiting room that were complaining about how little they could eat. He gave me a fill 1 cc. I was so excited.
3/25/05 - Went for 2nd fill. Down to 218 lbs. Still don't feel much restriction. But have noticed I am eating less and the mind hunger is easier to deal with.
4/8/05 - Third fill at 2.2 ccs. Still can eat quite a bit. Weight is at 216.
Month of May two more fills. Currently at 3.2 ccs.
8/8/05 - been six months and down almost 50 lbs. Loving my band. Have appointment for 6th fill on 8/18.
12/05 - Went for another fill. Now at 4.6 ccs in a 4 cc band. Weighed 177. Down from 241. Happy with weight loss but the head hunger is making me crazy.
2/3/06 - Went for my one-year post op. Down 67 lbs. Was hoping to be closer to goal but am happy with the weight I have lost. Need to get moving in order to lose more of the weight. Had another fill. Have maxed out my band - now at 5 ccs. Feel nice and snug now. The head hunger isn't as bad when I feel restricted.
6/10/08
I had 5 cc's for a long time. At my checkup in 2/08 I told my doctor that I was having a lot of reflux. I would also vomit in my sleep and would wake up choking. I had a Barrium swallow and my band had slipped. I also had a dilated esophagus (which means my esophogus was widening at the base allowing me to eat larger meals and feel less restriction. I then had to have a total unfill and gained back 20 lbs. I think it was 4 months before they started to do fills.
Around 5/07 my port site became infected and the normal antibiotics (Keflex) were not working. I was told that I had to have my port relocated. Had 1 day surgery and came home with a 3" wide 3" deep whole and a new scar from the new port site. It took about 1 month for the hole to close up. I am now at 3.5 cc's and fill fuller than before.
I have found a trick that works for me when I am feeling unfilled or having reflux. I drink and eat only soup or mushies for about 3 days ('cause that's really all I can stand) and for some reason I feel tighter and have less reflux. Hope it works for you.
Photos
 185 |
 |
 241 January 2005 |