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I've been having difficulty with my feet & legs- particularly my legs. I'm going to my doctor Monday, but my highly skilled (ahem-ahem) self diagnosis is that I have restless leg syndrome. It's what spurred me to start working out. Anyway, I thought- compression stockings would probably feel really good & might make things calm down a bit. Problem is my calf is 24.5 inches. I returned a 3xl pair to Amazon because they were too small. I've looked everywhere & finally found one pair that said they accommodate a 24 inch calf. So I got those. I'm having to cram fabric in the tops so they don't bind, but if I were even 1/4 inch larger these wouldn't work either! There has to be an enormous untapped market for these & other therapeutic devices (knee braces, for example). I absolutely cannot be the only person who's dealt with this frustration. Anyone else ever run into stuff like that? 

I have decided I want to be a mermaid.... or at least a manatee! I hate getting out of the water!

Today I did something I've never done before. I went to the gym. More precisely to the Health & Wellness Center run by the hospital. I walked in the pool for an hour. It was AMAZING! I haven't been able to walk so much as five minutes without being completely worn out in ages! No pain. It was great. Already looking forward to tomorrow. The only bad part was being snapped back to reality coming out of the water. I felt every single one of my 315 lbs. But it won't be that way forever. April 5th, 2017 is the day I changed my life. 

I have an appointment today to visit our Wellness & Fitness Center that is owned and operated by our local hospital. This will be the very first time I've ever set foot in a gym! They have a pool, so I can exercise with less pressure on my joints. I'm so nervous! I am extremely self conscious & hate the way I look in a swimsuit. My husband is joining with me & I'm very grateful for his support (he knows he'll also benefit from the exercise). 

I also found out yesterday that my best friend is not moving to Michigan! She'll still be 4 hours away, but that's ok. She's a teacher & gets spring break & summers off. She agreed to make the 4 hour trip to help during my 1st or 2nd week of surgery- if we can coordinate that with her schedule & the surgeon. Again, so grateful! Her mom & stepsister have both had WLS & she helped with their care, so I know I'm in good hands. Because of this, my sweet husband won't have to take as much time off from work. 

Oh, and I'm scheduled to meet with a Nutritionist to develop my diet plan on April 18th! 

So much good news! 

First entry- 

About a week and a half ago I started really "feeling" my weight. I already have chronic pain, but now I've added restless legs & tremendous foot pain to that ever growing list of ailments. A friend of mine (we'll call her "K") had gastric bypass a few years ago & this weekend I started asking questions about her journey.  K told me about her being "one bad breakup from 400lb" and her daily struggles to just walk across a room. I totally related. I loved to camp, but I now dread all of the prep & tear down- and the inability to walk even the easiest trails. So, I let our conversation sink in for a few days. Then it "clicked". I've had lots of surgeries (hysterectomy, bowel resection, and wisdom teeth just to name a few). I asked myself- how is this any different? I've had all these surgeries to better my quality of life, yet this one was never on the table- until now. I thought I should be able to loose weight on my own (lost 35lb from a hospital dietary program- and then gained that back and then some). But I'm realizing now that this is a medical condition that I will never conquer alone. It's time to get the pros involved. 

I'm in the very wee stages of preparing for a surgery I now know I need. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, seeing how quickly I like to get things done), I won't have insurance that will cover it until next year. The insurance company I'll be with won't answer any of my questions regarding prerequisites until I am a member. So in the meantime I'm going to post here, and hopefully feel supported in my decision.