Melanie M.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I'm realizing that I need to come here and update more often.  Support is definitely something I need lately. 

I am now 19 months post op, and down 192 pounds.  I weigh 157 pounds, and everyday feels like a miracle to me.  I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd ever weigh 157 pounds.  My goal for myself personally was 180 pounds.  So being here is definitely a shocker.  I thank God everyday for my second chance at life.  I really do, and I can't say that enough. 

As far as eating goes, I can eat steady now.  I can eat most foods with no problems.  In a way that kinda scares me.  It just means I have to be the one in control not eating everything in site.  That's fine, I just need a little encouragement from time to time. 

I've been having new thoughts on my mind.. thoughts of starting a family.  My husband and I are thinking about it.  I'm still iffy on a few things like weight gain, and missing out on enjoying my thinner body.  But we'll see. 

On August 20th, I was exactly 6 months post op.. I am officially down 103 pounds!  I hoped and prayed that this would keep up and that I'd have the strength to keep it up, and somehow it has, and I have.  I honestly never thought I would be one of the ones to lose 100 pounds, and now I am three pounds past that biggest mark.   

Ahhhh!  I am just so grateful for everything this whole experience is giving me.  I'm in so much shock right now!!!!

 

**I wrote this a couple weeks back for my other website..**


Well, the day that I was waiting for forever, has come and gone.  I am officially one week post op today.  Around this time last Tuesday I was drifting in and out of it and I had a thousand hands flying around over me.  Or, at least that's what it felt like.  I remember, and will continue to remember, 2-20-07 from start to finish.  I was up pretty early of course.  I had to be at the hospital no later than 8am and it's about a 45 minute drive.  I took my shower, and scrubbed my abdomen, and then just packed some more things I thought I might need for my hospital stay.  To be honest, it sorta felt like I was going on a trip somewhere.  Wilson's mom and Alice met us here and followed us to the hospital and we were off.  We arrived and the waiting began.  But actually it didn't take as long to get me going as I thought it would.  Luckily, my mom arrived at the hospital just in time to spend some time with me before I went back.  I had a whole crew of family with me from the time I arrived, to the time I was given a bed that night.  I feel very fortunate and lucky to have so many people who care about me this much.  I mean, a lot of people could have just waited and come to visit me after the surgery was done, but these people were up as early as I was, and I think MORE nervous than I was.  I wasn't nervous.  Haven't been thus far.  It's weird, but I just wasn't.  I think I researched and read and prepared myself so much for the good and the BAD, I just wasn't at all.  Well, when they finally took me back for prep, I just remember waving bye to everyone and waiting for the next time I could see them.  I got all prepped and waited in a bed to actually go back to surgery.  At this time, Wilson and my mom were allowed to come back and sit with me.  That made me happy to see their faces.  We talked, and laughed.  I was happy I had pretty blue slipper socks and not baby poop green.  Hehe. 

Then, it was time.  I said goodbye to them and was wheeled off to the operating room.  I remember getting in there with the group that was waiting for me, and then sliding on over to the operating table.  The official last thing I remember was the doc putting the mask over my mouth and nose and asking that I take a few deep breaths... and again.... and that was it for me.  Next time I woke up, I was in recovery with heavy eyelids, opening then closing a million times, seeing several hands reach from right to left and vice versa.  It was kinda neat.  I was soo out of it that it didn't bother me what anyone was doing to me.  I heard beeps from machines, people shuffling, talking, you name it.  And I realized all at once.... that I MADE IT.  I remember Wilson waking me up to sliding my hair across my forehead and kissing it.  He held my hand and talked. Can't remember much of what was said, but I'll never forget it either.  Lotta sense I am making huh? 

I think everyone who came with me and passed through to see me at least a couple times.  I remember hearing Wilson and mama there and the nurse telling them that since I had so many people with me, they could alternate as to who could come back and see me.  It was kinda cool to hear.  Kinda made me think, "wow, doesn't everyone bring 13 people to the hospital with them?"  hehe.  Now, there was a guy next to me.. and I will NEVER forget his name because he was the hardest man to wake up everytime.  He was doing well from what I heard, but boy.. all I heard was, "WALTER!!!  HEY WALTER!!!  HIIIII.  WALTER!  HOW ARE YA?  WAAAAALLLLLTTTTTEEEERRRRR..?"  It kinda made me wanna laugh, but it hurt too bad.. so I just decided to snooze.  :) 

I was out of surgery around 3pm that afternoon, and was laying in recovery until about 11:30pm.  It was crazy.  I myself wasn't too concerned for me since I was on and off so much but it was everybody waiting who I was worried about.  They heard the famous line about 100 times, "Oh, only about another hour and we'll have her in a bed."  8 hours later, that was finally true.  I remember finally being wheeled away to my room upstairs, and breathed a sigh of relief.  When I was still in recovery, I remember seeing my brother and him holding my hand and just talking to me... referring to me as "Stink" of course.  My brother and I are very close and for him to be this concerned about his 24 year old "little sister" just brings me to tears.  I love him so much.  Everyone told me he said he wouldn't leave until he got to see me and see that I was in my room. 

Well, I was welcomed out of the elevator with the sound (my favorite sound!) of everyone clapping and cheering that I was finally there and ready to be put in my room.  I did hear Alice doing the techno beat also, which was awesome.  LOL.  I was finally settled in my room, # 9032, and was ready for my first hospital night to begin.  I was glad to see the people who survived and waited all that time with me through the night.  Then, I had all my vitals checked again, met my nurses for that shift and was about ready to go back to sleep at that point.  Eventually I said bye to everyone and was out like a light until sometime the next morning.

My whole stay in the hospital was actually nice.  I met so many nurses who were all so nice and caring.  I know the first actual DAY in there, I rang for them so much because I couldn't even get up off of my back from my bed by myself.  I learned how to give myself my Heparin shots, I took AWFUL liquid pain medicine, watched nothing but Step by STep and Full House, and took my IV pole for many, many walks around the ninth floor.  I had lots of visitors which made me happy.  I got flowers, balloons, toys.. :)  I'm easily pleased when it comes to friends and family, and just seeing them made it bearable.  But I loooved the flowers and balloons.  hehe.  Wilson walked a lot with me down the halls while I was there.  It was cute.  I noticed too that I was right next door to a guy that was around my age who had his surgery the same time I did.  We recognized each other from previous meetings.  We talked, and kinda swapped status stories.  It was nice to talk to someone who pretty much was feeling how I was right at that same moment.  I really can't complain about anything as far as my hospital stay.  I have actually been doing very well since I had my surgery.  The only thing that concerned the nurses a little while I was there was that my heart rate was a little high at times, but it always eventually calmed down, which was good.  I didn't feel any different when they said it was racing though, so physically, still no complaint there.  Other than the obvious pain of my incisions, and not being able to move well on my own, it was a good stay.  Even when I did feel pain, it was very little.  Kind of just an "apparent" pain ya know?  Like, of course it's there, but unless I was bending a wrong way I shouldn't have been, I really paid no mind. 

By the end of my stay, I was definitely ready to come home.  I couldn't wait to be in my comfy recliner rather than that bed.  Ugh, it was getting a little stiff.  Once they took my catheter out, I think I was up every hour to pee!!  It was extremely hard to do that alone, but I did it.  I was discharged on Thursday afternoon and was on my way home around 5:30pm that evening.  Made a big mistake and left the hospital without picking up my meds that I dropped off there about a week prior to my surgery date.  Aahhhhhhh!  How smart.  But, thankfully my mom picked them up for me the next morning and I don't really use the paid medicine anyway... every now and then before bed to sleep as comfy as possible, but wouldn't be miserable without 'em either.  Let me knock on wood before I accidently fall and kick the bottle over spilling it all.  lol. 

So, on my own I am doing pretty good.  At this point, I am able to get up, walk around, walk a couple minutes on the treadmill, and pretty much make it without any help.  I am working on being able to bend further and further slowly.  I am able to wipe my own butt again!  YES!  lol.  I was worried about that one.  It takes me a while, but dammit... I can do it!  I get up as often as I can to pick little things up around the house, let Dallas out, and small things like that.  Overall, I think I am progressing pretty well.  I thank God every day for that.  I had no surgical complications, no nausea as of yet, no nothin'.  And boy do I hope it stays that way.  I mean when the trial and error period with food comes into play, of course I expect to find things that don't agree with me anymore.  But for now, I am tolerating my Boost, water, broth, milk, etc.. so I'm happy. 

My emotions have been pretty up and down lately though.. which I've noticed big time.  I broke down the other night and asked Wilson, "Do you think I made the right decision?  Should I have found another way?"  I just felt like it was all a mistake and was worried I was never gonna get to go out to dinner anymore, I was always gonna have to be cautious of my new pouch, blah blah blah.  I expected that to happen, but at the time it did, it was awful.  I was balling my eyes out.  What kicked it off was when I saw Wilson making himself some soup that he had never tried before, and he sipped it... so I asked him if he like it.. and he said YEAH!  with these happy eyes and a smile.  He's so picky when it comes to new foods, and I am usually the one there with him trying them and experiencing his first taste with him.  It's not that I wanted the soup, but it kinda hit me that I would "never" be able to do that again with him.  Then I thought about my mom making dinner for everyone and I heard her talking to my nephew about making something that we all hadn't had since I was maybe 11!  I got excited for a split second, but then I got pretty down, realizing that THAT was another thing I was excluded from.  It just felt so frustrating.  With many many words of encouragement and some thought, I finally realized that this is the hardest part right here.  I had to realize that these things were not a NEVER AGAIN thing.  Eventually, Wilson and I will be able to go out to dinner.  I will be able to eat at my mom's when she makes dinner for everyone.  Just not now.  And, it's not because it's the actual food I want, but the experience.  But speaking of wanting food... I do.  I still feel hungry.  Everything still smells and looks so yummy.  I am hoping that when I move up to soft foods, I start feeling a little more full with there being actual substance in my stomach.  I guess we'll see.  I can physically tell when I have a lot in my pouch from drinking, but not necessarily that "full" feeling they describe.  Then agan, I am only one week post op so I am sure I have many more encounters to come. 

Well, I have to pee, and that will take me about 10 minutes between bending to get my pants and everything else, so I suppose I will go now.  Felt nice to write my official first "Post Op" entry.  Thought it would never happen.