NikkiFlynn
Three years ago I weighed in at my heaviest of 298. I had just given birth and couldn't make the weight come off. I was battling post pardum depression, depression from being so big, and various other medical things. My husband made me get tested for sleep apnea which came back that I had severe sleep apnea as well I was continuously battling thyroid issues. going from a very low dose of medication to a large dose. Feeling defeated in my weight struggles of life I contiplated having surgery and went for it for the help to give me the jump start I needed.
I had RNY on Oct 24th 2014, on surgery day I weighed in at 268 pounds. From the time I started to get on my pre-op surgery diet I lost 30 pounds and was so proud of myself. I am weighing in today at 183 pounds. In complete and utter shock that I now weigh the same weight I did in HIGH SCHOOL!!! My struggle now is should I loose more weight? What is my goal weight? I want a tummy tuck, I want a boob job (from having kids and breastfeeding has not made me not feel very pretty). I still find myself walking into the "plus size" clothing section out of habbit. I went from wearing a 4-6x on top, to cover the lumps and bumps and not to have my clothes cling to me, to a size L/Xl depending on the maker. For my pants I went from going into the 26/28 (lane bryant size) down to a size 14. I have even fit into a size medium in some things. 
Impressive right...totally down right shocking.
My husband thought I was absolutely stunning at my biggest and he still thinks I am as beautiful now as then. I didn't do this for him, I did this for my health and for my family to have around a little longer. I do miss my hair ( post surgery and post baby). I love looking at new clothes, but hate shopping for myself. I can find anything and everything for other people, but when it comes to me I am like a deer in headlights. You want me to look at those? I look good? Are you crazy? My biggest worry is I feel like I'm shoving all my weight (pre surgery) into a much smaller size clothing and I look like it. I know I know this isn't true, but it's a mental fight. Being a "big" girl most of my life, I have lived comfortably in my own skin but now it's hard. I think I look great in clothes, but down right embarrassed when I get naked in front of my husband. Dress your body for what you have, not what you want. So I am sure I am just rambling on, I am sorry.
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
