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I must have been holding on to a LOT of water, because I made it to 320.4 pounds this morning!  I started logging EVERY day, and eliminated all sugar, flour, pasta, and fake foods.  I am keeping calories around 1100 - 1200, and seem to be doing just fine on that.  I called the clinic today to let them know I was within weight range, and she said that she would get me a booking date.  Have not heard back from them yet, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I hear something tomorrow!  If not, I do have my dietician appointment just down the road from their office on Wednesday, so I can always swing by (and park myself there until I GET a date.)  I am not very good at waiting, obviouly :P

Off to work tonight, first shift since completely overhauling my eating.  I am so grateful I quit smoking 3.5 years ago, there is NO WAY I could handle quitting AND changing eating style at the same time!

Part of me is terrified that I will not get a call back, that I will be forgotten.  Another part of me thinks that by losing weight pre-op, I am damaging my "honeymoon" period post-op.  I don't know... I worry a lot. 

Ketogenic diet day 1 is complete. Can't say it was too bad... I have eaten in a ketogenic style before, and lost weight relatively quickly. My issue was always keeping the weight off.  This is where I hope the sleeve will assist me... portion control built in.  Let's just hope I can drop these few pounds quickly!  As of this morning, I only had 9 pounds to lose. I am certain I can do it!

Well that was a surprise... After weighing the pros and cons of undergoing weight loss surgery, I have decided to go ahead with the sleeve.  Today I got the phone call I thought was supposed to be my date for surgery... nope.  Instead, it was the phone call to tell me I am 13 pounds too heavy for surgery.  13 POUNDS. 

I admit, I burst into tears.  Big ugly sobbing tears.  I have to WAIT even LONGER to get surgery?  If I could LOSE 13 pounds, WHY would I NEED surgery??

I did calm down eventually, and have decided this is a good wake-up call.  I am embarrassed to say that I have been treating every day like a goodbye-food-funeral ever since I decided to have surgery.  No healthy diet, no exercise, no NOTHING.  I figured "well, my sleeve will take care of all that.  Besides, I can start good habits after surgery."  What a stupid thing to think.  And do.  So now I have successfully eaten my way out of surgery for at least a few more weeks.  And you know what?

It's for the best.

No lifestyle change should ever start with a frantic all-you-can-eat food fiesta.  Why did I even think that was a good idea?  It's not like I am saying goodbye to food forever.  Just for now.  Once I get to goal, I can choose to reassess my food choices.  For now, though, I need to be accountable, responsible, and mature about my diet.  That means it's KETO TIME! 

So what if I have to wait a few extra weeks to have my surgery?  I think I was approaching it with the wrong mind set.  In fact, I KNOW I was.  I will fail at losing weight after surgery if I do not change the way I eat now.  This gives me a chance to get into the habit of choosing proteins and greens, while leaving carbs in the dust. 

Tomorrow morning I can put my dedication into action.  Eggs with a little cheese for breakfast, to start.  Then, I can consider some tuna salad for lunch, and chicken breast with veggies for supper.  Start adding in my vitamins right now - a good multivitamin, calcium citrate, vitamin D, vitamin B12, and iron.  Give it a week or two... I bet those few pounds will slide right off.  I can pretty much guarantee that most of it is water weight, anyhow.  Keep the ketogenic vibe going up until surgery, then carry on post-op as well.  It would give me a good start to my weight loss and will help me get into the right frame of mind.

One day at a time.