judy B.

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CarolineAnnMartin 20 years, 8 months ago

Judy, I am so keeping you in my prayers and hoping all works out between you and your husband. 20 years is a long time to be with someone, and I so hope that he can grow with you.

Lisa M. 20 years, 8 months ago

Judy, I completely agree with what the others have posted before me. Sounds like Frank is very insecure with your weight loss. He felt comfortable & secure when you were heavy. Now he feels threathened & can't express his fears appropriately (like a lot of men!). His fear comes across as anger. This is probably his defense mechanism because he is afraid someone will take you away & he doesn't want to be hurt. Another possibilty is that he may be jealous of your success if he also struggles with his weight. I pray that you two will get counseling & find-out the underlying problem before you just throw your hands up & leave the marriage. It's worth fighting for. Show your love & devotion to him & help him to feel more secure in the relationship & see what happens. Best wishes to you & if you ever need a shoulder I am always here. Hugs,

Diane B. 20 years, 8 months ago

Hi Judy! I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage. Twenty years is a long time to be with someone. You both are going through so many changes and learning to deal with them. Here you are becoming more beautiful, more desirable and it is possible he has thought you might leave him. He might even have thought that you don't need him anymore or he may feel left out. Has he ever read your profile or this page? Does he really understand what you are going through? So many emotions are being felt now. But then again you also have to look at yourself and your behavior. Don't ever feel sorry about getting the surgery, you needed it and deserved it. Counseling, doesn't always work for everyone, but twenty years is a shame to throw away when you used to be best friends. I just want you to know that I'm thinking about you today and that you and your husband are in my prayers for a resolution of differences and a life of happiness, love, and health. Keep on track and continue with your weight-loss program. Keep us posted and God bless you and your family. DI from NJ

maureen 20 years, 8 months ago

Judy I am sorry your are going through rough times I know it is difficult when those we are closes to seems to push us away or shut the door in our face. I am sure your husband is going through a lot at this time too, seeing all the changes your going through, seeing you blossom, and be more out going, getting more attention....His probably afraid of losing you so his pulling away..... as hard as it may be try hard to continue to show your love and concern for your relationship together....and that you are committed.....I will pray that thing work out and he comes around soon. hugs and God Bless Maureen

jeannie9899 20 years, 8 months ago

Judy! I know that it may seem like your husband is pushing you away right now. Please remember that is going through some changes to. He was probably comfortable with having a big wife that he thought nobody would pay attention to and now he has a thin wife who is attracting attention that he is not use too. Sometimes, people handle their jealousy in different ways. It sounds like to me, he is testing your true feeling about the marriage. Perhaps, he is tring to find a way to full this new void that he has going on. Maybe the sail boat is his way of doing something "for him". He probably feels like you had the surgery "for you". Don't give up on a marriage with a long history. You must stay strong and show him that you are here for the long haul. Find something that will take up your time when he is acting childish! I will pray that God will mend this problem before your very eyes! Love and hugs galore! JEannie

Grace loves cats 20 years, 8 months ago

Hi there Judy! I just read your post- I feel so bad for you! Please don't let your husband interfere with your WL in any way, by upsetting you! I am sorry about your problems with him, I hope things can get better. If not then you deserve someone to treat you better! You've been on a life changing roller coaster I'm sure with your WLS journey, & you should be very proud of yourself! I pray things get better for you. Hugs

Naes Wls J. 20 years, 10 months ago

CONGRATULATIONS for being such a success. Thumbs up~*~Hugs~*~

summewe 20 years, 10 months ago

Judy - You are doing fantastic. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Janica S. 21 years, 2 months ago

Hi Judy, Don't yell at your husband hon. But instead take him to the side and tell him its wonderful about his concerns for your well fare. Then tell him that you appreciate all the attention but when you feel like you need his help in monitoring your food intake that you will be the first to let him know to remind you and to help you with it. It can all be settled wiht calmness. Take this from an old married woman...Hugs and good luck.

ANGELA V. 21 years, 2 months ago

JUDY~ TELL YOUR HUSBAND WHAT I TOLD MINE. LAY OFF & MIND YOUR OWN DINNER PLATE! MINE DID THE SAME THING, MAN I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO EAT! I WAS LIKE YEAH 6 VERY SMALL MEALS A DAY. THEN DYAS LATER WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT IT IN SOME WAY. HE'LL SAY YOU WERE THE ONE THAT HAD THE SURGERY & I AM YEAH I DID SO LET ME DEAL W/ THE FOOD. I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER. I KNOW WHAT I CAN & CAN'T HAVE. YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH. THAT USUALLY MAKES HIM QUIET! HA HA AS FAR AS THE KIDS. I HAVE A 6 YR OLD WHO TELLS IT ALL!!! DADDY WE WENT TO MC DONALD'S MOMMY HAD A SALAD. HE WAS LIKE YOU ATE?! I AM YEAH & IT WAS GOOD! JUST DON'T MIND EVERYONE RIGHT NOW AS YOU GET FURTHER DOWN IN YOUR JOURNEY IT WILL ALL STOP. TAKE CARE!!