acabral08

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Hi Everyone!!

I did the 5 day pouch test and it worked great!  Got me off sugar and carbs  but then I went back to carbs  .  I'm so STRESSED  .

 I'm still trying to get my old house cleaned out and ready to rent but don't really have any place to put my stuff until I find a place to rent.  Soooo I'm going to approach this a little different.  I'm going to get my old house cleaned and rented (I will store my stuff) thennnn I will worry about finding a place for me to live.  In the mean time I will stay with my boyfriend a little longer. The only problem with that is that I can't keep my dogs with me while I'm there.

I have to get out from under this stress and learn how to deal with it in a different way than food.  When I stuff myself I don't feel good I am down on myself all day.  Not fun !!!   Oh well, enough griping.  Hope everyone is doing well and I will write more later!

Hi everyone!!!

Sorry it's been soooo long!   So much has happened since Christmas.  As you might remember I was trying to get a job in the Monterey area.  Well, I did and you might also remember that I had met a really nice, normal man.  He is truly wonderful.    He lives in the Monterey area so I moved in with him temporarily until I found my own place.  That is my dogs and I moved in with him.

Unfortunately the dog thing didn't work at all because they are pups and were destroying his yard.  So I decided I would find my own place.  At which time I became very stressed.  Just moved, started new job, dogs are ruining somebody else's beautiful yard, trying to get my old house in shape to rent (which is a two hour drive away).  So now I'm throwing up on a regular basis.  I mean a few times a day. 

The man I'm living with thinks I'm throwing up on purpose and is very concerned and upset.  I don't want to lose him over this.  More stress...  I can give my dogs away and continue to live with him (pay no rent which saves me around $1,500/mo)  Or move out and get my own place with my dogs.

First things first!!  That would be ME!   So today I started  the 5 day pouch test to see if I can get the carbs and sugar out of my system and get back on track.  I haven't gained any weight but I feel awful.  So that is where I'm starting and I will keep you guys posted as to how the rest of it goes.

Thank you for still being here!

I know I haven't been around much lately but so much has been going on.

Have been trying to do some dating but it is just soooo much work.  You know how they say when you least expect it it will happen.  Exactly what happened.  Met a very nice man at a house party.  We have really hit it off and been enjoying each other's company.  (Which is very nice for a change.) 

I have continued to lose some weight.  Guess getting rid of the guy that I was supporting for the last 6 months helped.  I am now at 145, down 5 more pounds.

I have a new puppy. 

And I'm actually looking forward to the new year.  After the death of my nephew I'm hoping it will only get better.

Merry Christmas everyone and I hope all of us have a very Happy and Prosperous New Year!! 

Well if you have been reading my blog you know that on the 15th I came out of the dark...only to be plunged into the darkness of hell on the 16th.  My 49 year old nephew passed away suddenly in his home.  No one knows why yet but his heart was healthy and strong.  Labs are still out.

His wife was totally shattered (they had only been married 4 years) and my brother totally checked out so I handled all the arrangements.  Did I mention he lived an hour away from me?  Now I don't begrudge anyone having to do this because I loved him dearly.  He was more like a brother than a nephew he was only 8 years younger than me.  But, the stress and exhaustion I felt was more than I could handle. 

Needless to say I didn't take very good care of myself.  No vitamins, don't even know what I ate and I think the only thing I drank was coffee.  Came back to work on the following Monday and we were being audited so now on Friday I am barely functioning.  I feel fat, ugly, and exhausted.

Heres to recouping this weekend and getting my life back together.

Gawd I just hope I can...

Well, I made it thru the weekend and came into the light

If you've been reading you know that Friday was a pretty sad day for me.  So I went home at 4:30 and went straight to bed and covered my head with the covers intending to stay that way all weekend long.  Around 6 my friends husband called me and invited me to dinner so he could surprise his wife...well, I couldn't very well say no to that.  So, I pull my raunchy self out of bed and put on some sweats (was not in the mood for this).

Needles to say it turned into a wonderful evening.  A tiny glass of wine, a great protein dinner and wonderful company.   Can't ask for more to pick yourself up off the ground.  Next morning I got up and went to the pumpkin patch with MY baby.  (See pics posted.) Then we all had a bbq.  Sunday morning I also got up and pretty much worked in my garden all day the weather was wonderful!

Thanks to everyone for hanging in there with me.  As wonderful as WLS is it doesn't fix everything. 

Well, my guy friend has been sick all week (how convenient) so I haven't really felt right about talking finances with him.    Well, last night we talked a little...went better than I thought.  He totally agreed and stated that he felt really bad.  And I feel he really does.  I gave him 3 options.  1.  He could pay me when he gets paid...he is supposedly expecting money.  2.  I could cut my loses and we not see each other anymore.  3.  He could work what he owes me off with labor around my place. 

He said that he definitely wanted to pay me.  I also told him he had to move out that I couldn't afford to support both of us.  He said that he understood and would talk to his son about moving in with him.

Everything went pretty good...so why am I eating and eating?  I don't eat bad things but it doesn't matter I don't want to stretch my pouch.   Sometimes I realize I what I am doing.  Sometimes I stop and sometimes I don't.  I was hoping this kind of mindless, stupid eating would be behind me.  But no one did surgery on my efing brain.  How after a year doing fine with my eating can I NOW revert to old habits????

Loaded my dog and went to Monterey this weekend for a little girl time.  My oldest daughter lives there and she had moved recently and still had a POD to unload.  Now, I have always hated moving  and I'm now sure it was because I was so overweight that I couldn't carry much and breath at the same time.  I used to help my girls...who politely...said mom you just stay inside and put stuff away.  Well, not only did we get that POD unloaded but we had fun doing it!! 

When I got there on Sat. we had some breakfast, had a pedicure and then started unloading.  I was a CHAMP!  I loaded, I carried, I lifted and I put away annndddd I was even able to move the next day!!    Becasue the next day I took my pup to the beach and walked....wait for it....the whole damn beach!!!!

MY LIFE IS WONDERFUL!!!