alemac2
I guess I'm a little backwards with this whole profile thing. First of all, I am 5 1/2 years post op, open RNY. I joined the OH community back in 2002 and have been a "lurker" ever since. I never thought to set up a profile, upload pictures or even post anything, because really, what did I have to contribute. So, for the last 6+ years I have been quite content to just read what others have to say and learn from all the great people here. Lately though, I have seen some posts that I think I could contribute to. Since I feel more confident in myself, I think I just may be of help to others. So here is my story:
I had not always been fat. I grew up at a normal weight, with supportive parents and two younger sisters. My dad was in the military, so I got used to adapting to new environments every four years. I never used food for comfort or to help me adjust or to get through stressful times. I do beleive however, that I was given subtle messages about food, such as, meat, starch and vegetable must be present at all dinners, breakfast doesn't matter, and eat it while you can or someone else will.
I weighed about 140 (5'4") when I graduated high school. Not skinny, but certainly not fat either. Then I got pregnant, had major issues with a verbally abusive husband, and then had to figure out how to raise a child on my own at 19. My weight ballooned. I still don't think I was using food as comfort, I just new I never wanted to feel hunger, so I would pre-eat between meals so that hunger never came. That's when the cycle of "eat because I was depressed, I was depressed because I ate" started. This went on until I was 35.
My rock bottom was when I took my then 5 year old daughter to the county fair. She wanted me to ride the rides with her so bad, but I couldn't because I just didn't fit on them. I watched her go around and around on the tilt-a-whirl all by herself and I cried. I decided at that moment that I HAD to lose the weight immediately. I just couldn't let her grow up like my son had done before her, with a mom who did nothing and went nowhere because she was too ashamed. A few weeks later, I saw a show (can't remember which one) and they were talking about this new weight loss surgery that was becoming popular and was helping SMO people lose weight. At this point I weighed close to 300lbs and desperately wanted to know everything about it. I knew, at that moment, that I would be having the surgery and would be freed from my fat hell.
I found OH almost immediately and did a search for a surgeon. There were none in my city (Tucson, AZ) so I had to travel to Phoenix. I didn't care, I was a girl on a mission. I felt a renewed energy, and was hopeful again. I found my surgeon (Dr. Zahn) and jumped through all the hoops: seminars, dietition, psych eval, insurance paperwork. I researched every bit of info on RNY and listened to anyone who had it done. I knew all the rules. I got my insurance approval in 4 days (sorry to those of you who have had to struggle with that part). The worst part was waiting for my surgeon to have an opening. It took 4 months after approval to actually get the surgery.
I felt so pumped on surgery day. I was not the slightest bit nervous. The problem was I felt like I had to act nervous, because people kept saying "If you were'nt nervous, I'd be worried about you." Oh crap, I didn't want them to cancel the surgery so I acted a little nervous. Truth be told, I didn't need the "happy juice" to calm me down at all. I was thrilled and couldn't wait to get started. Surgery went without a hitch and recovery was even easier. I actually asked the doctor if he really did anything because I felt so good afterwards. I did have an issue with constipation from the pain meds (almost passed out when I finally had to go!). But that was it.
I stuck to my surgeons eating plan to a T: Clear liquids for 2 weeks, pureed for 4 weeks, soft foods for 2 weeks, then normal diet. No carbonated beverages...at all...for the rest of my life. Wait, what? I was a 2 liter-a-day, fully loaded Pepsi drinker, and now nothing? Sure, I'll give it a try, but I'm not making any promises here. Well, it's been 5 1/2 years and no carbonated beverage has passed my lips, and I don' think it ever will. It's not as hard as I thought it would be.
Well, I started at 301lbs (official on day of surgery), and got down to 147 in about a year and a half. I bought a scale 2 months after surgery and have weighed myself faithfully every Wednesday morning since then. I have been maintaining between 150 and 155 for the last several years and didn't even gain when my mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer and died 6 months later. Stress eating is not my issue apparently. A couple of months ago, I noticed a gaining trend, and found myself at 160lbs. I immediately went to my best friend (who is naturally thin) and asked her what she does to get back in control. Her answer, simple, count calories. So thats what I have been doing. I have lost 4lbs, and am going for about 5 more.
I'll update my progress in a few weeks.
