amandamercedes22
My story, I guess, is that I finally realized that enough is enough. I am 22 years old (23, next month) and am at 254lbs. I've had a accumulation of "boiling/breaking points" but I think the one that stood out the most was when I went on a trip to Arizona in August. I had to get on a plane with Southwest Airlines and I almost could not put the seat belt on. I was so uncomfortable and embarrassed. Honestly, I just wanted to cry and give up.
I have been overweight since I was probably 11 or 12 years old. At that age, I was just maybe a few pounds overweight nothing that would have raised alarms in anyone's minds. I gradually put on the weight from there. As a child/teen, I was abused by a family member. She would call me fat, an elephant, pig, and would go as far as to say that the only way any man would ever love me or want to be with me is if they too were a fat cow such as myself. Obviously, this would take a toll on a child and unfortunately, I learned to use food as a way to cope with my emotional issues. I thought it didn't matter what I ate since I already was a fat cow and no one liked me anyways.
My self image went to hell and my entire teen years were spent thinking that there was no way anyone was truly interested in me and if they were, it was because they just wanted to use me. I never accepted who I was and I now regret that I wasn't able to have that high school experience. I missed out on so many opportunities because I had so much self hate.
I look back now on high school pictures (there are not many, since I hated to take photos) and I get so upset. I get upset because compared to the weight that I am at now, I was NOT that bad. I was probably 20lbs overweight and my arms didn't look fat, my belly didn't bulge over my pants and there was no sign of a double chin. I get upset because I remember how I used to be so critical of myself and how much I hated myself and my weight. I was so blinded by the daily "mind f*ck" of that family member that I didn't realize how happy I could be. If I were just able to open my eyes and see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel and that I could control myself, I wouldn't be in this situation now.
I had to move across the country and away from the poison that was my family to learn to love myself. Once I learned to accept myself for who I was, I was able to allow someone else into my life. I met my now husband(who is NOT overweight), and he loves me for who I am. He is a great man and has been so supportive of every decision I have made.
I, on the other hand, am not 100% happy. Well, not just that, I am not healthy. My weight has gotten out of control and I have tried every diet, gone to the gym, have had trainers, etc. I just can't seem to get the weight off by myself. I have sleep apnea and every time I try to do an extensive work out program, my shins and feet feel like they are on fire. The pain is almost unbearable.
I need WLS to help get my life on track again. I want to be able to sleep through the night, go on airplanes without worrying if I will fit or not, and just all around be healthy. I love myself now but I want to love myself more. I want to exude confidence. I also, want to get married again with my husband in two years.
My story is just beginning... lets hope for a great one! Oh, and a happy ending too 
