amberleila

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Well, it has been five months and I am down 54 pounds .  I had gone to 199.5 and then when I got on the scale later that day it was 202 again

AND, I have been stuck at 202 for three weeks....ARRGHHH>>> Of course I am not helping matters, I am not eating the right foods and I have not been working out.  BUT  we have finally set a wedding day (FEB 2008), so hopefully I will get my act together and lose those last 50 pounds so I can be happy with my size on my wedding day!

Other than that, all is good - this is the best thing I have ever done!

Well, I had my surgery as scheduled and all went well.  I was VERY uncomfortable on the day of the surgery, but by the second day, I was VERY ready to go home.The nurses laughed at me because directly from the recovery room, I got up and walked around the floor for 30 minutes (I wanted that gas OUT).  They were also amazaed that I slept on my stomach directly following the surgery...I couldn't get comfy and that is how I like to sleep.  It didn't hurt any more or less to sleep that way, so I did!I went from 254 to 238 during the first three days.  Since then I have not lost a single pound.  I feel like this is not going to work.....I also don't feel full and do feel hungry.I am eating no more than 1000 calories a day and I did start working out.  I am swimming laps every morning for 30 - 45 minutes.  I guess it will come off, but it sure doesnt' feel like it now.My diet consists of the following foods only:TunaChicken (really soft cooked in crock pot)Mashed carrotsMashed potatoesCottage cheeseRicotta cheeseTurkey meatballsCrushed tomatos from a canSugar free puddingSugar free ice creamPopsiclesI want other foods, but I am scared.We will see - I can't turn back now

Oh, and I smoked right up until the morning of my surgery and did not have a SINGLE issue.  I still want to try to quit, but I am glad I had no issues from smoking (not that I recommend that anyone do it)

so I smoked again today...who hoo I am such an idiot...And then I was so mad at myself that I had a hamburger from Wendy's on my way back from my pre-op appointment.

Clearly I have isues.    I would love to understand how I can be so in control of every other facet of my life except for smoking and eating.

I gave Phil all of my cigarettes (three cartons) last night when he left for work.

I have no smoked since 10:00 pm last night,  I really want one - I know, get over it.  I suck - I can't eat, I can't smoke...arrghhh...I think I will probably become a sleep addict.

....and I have no fear of dying....What is that about.  I got sick as a dog last night and could not swallow or talk without pain.

My wonderful man came home for work this morning and force fed me meds and soup.  He is so amazing.  You would think I wouldn't smoke today, but no, I still smoked.

I don't know if I can quit before this surgery.  I suck.

Whoo hoo...I feel so lucky to have been approved by insurance company with no issues.  I am going in on February 8, 2007 and I cannot wait!

I have heard some of the long wait stories other people have told.  I started this process about two weeks ago and have less than two weeks to wait for the surgery.  I think I am pretty fortunate and I am thankful for the support of my friends, my family, and Independence Blue Cross Blue Shield!