Mrs B.
**Update 1/20/2015 Can it be that five years have passed? What happened since then...? Well....in regards to my gastric situation, I had two seizures in 2011 that were deemed to be related to low blood sugar. It was the recommendation of my surgeon Dr. Swartz that I have a conversion from my roux en y to a gastric sleeve. So I did do that, and from 2013-2015 I struggled with horrible heartburn and digestive issues. I took a variety of medications to try to combat the problems, but I would awake from a dead sleep choking on bile and acid and it wound up giving me pneumonia on more than one occasion. So in 2014 I was finally referred to Dr. Higa in Fresno (ALSA medical group) because Dr. Swartz was at the end of the road with me. His only alternative left was to do a total stomach removal, and he would rather refer me out to another doctor than be responsible for all that. So I met Dr. Higa and started looking at things from a different perspective. He attempted two different procedures, neither one of which worked- and just last week I had the third, which was a reversal of the sleeve back to the roux en y that I had in the first place. I feel able to control my blood sugars and would much rather do that than constantly waking up gagging and choking in the middle of the night. Presently post surgery I am 180lbs but my average comfortable weight is between 165-170. I have not been physically active for the past year due to having had a bad accident and breaking several bones... but I look forward to being more active once I heal from this latest surgery. I am still very happy to have had the original surgery, and although the more recent issues have been troubling, it in no way makes me wish I were 300lbs!
**Update 10/16/2010 Well, I'm still here! Things are going so well that I thought I should update again. After my bout with anemia earlier this year, I did in fact have my hysterectomy surgery in June. I hesitate to really call that a 'cure' for my anemia, but it certainly didn't hurt. I have been back to my hemotologist several times since and all bloodwork comes back wonderful, in fact my blood count went as high as 13! That is more than double what it was when I was diagnosed with the anemia. So I will have to eventually have another iron infusion, but it is starting to look like as an ongoing thing it may be only once or twice a year now. By a stroke of great luck, I had an interesting business windfall and was able to arrange for my plastic surgery with Dr. Mark Hoffman here in Fresno. For four months leading up to the surgery I worked very hard to try to lose as much weight as possible and get myself into some kind of shape. I walked almost every day- a minimum of 3 miles each time, but usually more like 5. I joined Curves and worked hard there as well. I was very proud of myself for all that.
So just ten days ago I went in for the extended tummy tuck, anchor incision with mons lift and a bonus chin lipo. While I can see that the results are turning out well, I honestly cannot wrap my mind around that huge portion of my body being gone. When I look at the incisions, new belly button and all...it's just not real to me. I know it's still so fresh and once everything is all healed up I'm sure it will be different, but for now I'm still anxious and unsure what to think. A lot to take in, considering I had the bypass back in 2003.
**Update 5/2/10 Hello all, I'm back for an update, time to add some photos and post a follow up to my current situation. I went to the doctor in February, complaining of stomach pains and was referred to a gastro doc. I have not seen a gastroenterologist ever, and have had no complications or problems with my gastric bypass whatsoever. He did an upper and lower GI, and was happy to report that my pouch size is good, and there are no issues with the bypass. The problem however is that I am chronically anemic and had a ferritin level below 1 (doesn't even register) and my hemoglobin was somewhere around 6. So I have become best friends with my new doctor, Ravi Rao here in Fresno...a hemotologist. I went for a series of iron infusions, the first of which was a 'test dose' to make sure that I could tolerate it...which I did. A week later I had my first 'real' dose, which resulted in about three drops going into my IV before I launched into anaflactic shock. After a break of a few weeks, we tried again with a different type of iron, and while I didn't go into full shock I did have a horrible rash, swelling and difficulty breathing. So I went home with an RX for prednisone, which made me crazy among other things such as night sweats, mood swings and a variety of not so great side effects. As it turns out, I am allergic to Iron...something the doctor says is rare but my online research would suggest otherwise.
I took two doses of oral iron liquid, and woke up with a swollen face for two days in a row, looking like I had been in a prize fight. So no more of that for me, thanks.
The iron is critical because I have horrible menstrual periods and am in the process of arranging for a hystorectomy. I have tried different oral birth control, which I apparently don't absorb very well...and recently switched to NuvaRing, which is absorbed through the vaginal walls. Neither are working completely, and I still bleed. So either an ablation or hystorectomy seem to be the answer here, since I cannot replenish my iron levels via diet and the infusions are increasingly dangerous.
That's my update for now...I've run up against a lot of gastric bypass biggots who love to point out how "you people all wind up this way, not taking care of yourselves" which is irritating and highly disrespectful. I HAVE taken halfway good care of myself, and have maintained my weight to prove it. There are of course more things I could do...exercise more and eat better...but my gastro doc assures me that my bypass is simply not allowing the absorbtion of iron regardless. I could eat nothing BUT spinach and still not get enough iron to maintain. So now I'm back here, looking for advice and support. :)
**Update 5/10/07 Well, obviously I haven't updated in a long time. My lowest weight was 153 in summer of 2006, however shortly thereafter I became pregnant. After the baby my weight now is about 175, and I'm working on getting back down. Life for me is great, I don't even remember what it was like to be in my former body. I love life and it's wonderful to be 'normal'. I do still struggle with loose skin...I am not pretty to look at without my clothes, and my arms are stretched out and look terrible in sleeveless summer gear...but hey, I'll take it! Gastric Bypass saved my life in so many ways. God Bless all of you who are in the process, or are not sure yet what to do. Do what feels right for you, but don't ever stay big because you're too scared to live. Make the right decision, whatever that is...make it from the bottom of your heart. You'll never regret it.
**Update 2/7/04 It's been seven months since my last update, and I'm ashamed of myself. I used to read people's profiles and wonder when they quit updating if they had died or what! Now I know it's just because they are actually living their lives and being active. When you aren't lugging around an extra person you're more likely to go outside and enjoy being alive! I am sitting at 175 now. That's 135 pounds, folks. Amazing...and I can't even believe it. I'm wearing size 14 jeans, a 36D bra, and I had to take back a whole pile of sweats I bought in large...they were too big! I'm doing fun things like playing with my horses (there are NINE here now, I must be crazy) and spending time with my family. I am held back now only by my continuing nerve trouble in my arms. I was scheduled for surgery on Monday, but the authorization fell through at the last minute. It's a workers comp thing, and of course they want to make it miserable. It has nothing to do with my gastric bypass, but it's irritating because now that I feel like doing everything I am restricted because of the pain in my elbows and wrists. I don't get to do as much with my animals, and that stinks. On to other things...I'm eating 'responsible meals' now and there isn't much that I can't eat. There are still things that I don't like much (like french fries, YUCK) but I'm not unhappy with my diet. Still eating lots of shrimp and trying to get my protein in. Unfortunately I can eat all the sugar I want...I can't remember the last time I dumped..but I'm holding it in check. I try not to have junk food sitting around tempting me. Anyway, in a couple of weeks I will have my 1 year 'birthday' and I'm excited. I've been through a lot, but it was sooo worth the trouble. I have a whole new life. So just in case it's a long time before I update again, hang in there you pre-surgery folks. I'm still alive and kickin' and getting smaller by the day. :)
**Update 7/9/03 Jeez Louise! I keep meaning to update, but sheesh! It's just too much fun being me!! :) As of today, I'm 222 lbs...that's a loss of 88lbs of flubber. I'm walkin' on sunshine! My face and neck look better than when I was in high school, and although I will need some serious plastic surgery, my body is slimming down too. I'm now somewhere betweeen a 1x and 2x, and can get into 19/20 jeans and dresses. All my old underwear look like granny panties, hanging off of my butt. I need a new bra too, because mine is about 4" too big around. I really wanted to write and share a meal that I came up with...my own little protein recipe. I have been having a little hair loss, and know I wasn't eating enough protein..but meat and eggs just weren't a big turn on for me. So what I've been eating lately is a "suped up" ramen that I came up with.
1 pkg chicken ramen noodles
1 small can mushrooms
diced/chopped onion to taste
diced/chopped bell pepper (red & green)
diced/chopped celery
baby carrots sliced into long pieces
3 eggs
several splashes of soy sauce
ground black pepper to taste
salt to taste
1/2 cube chicken bullion
four or five cups water
So what you do is boil the water and add your vegetables & mushrooms. Let them boil for a few minutes, and then in a separate bowl whisk your eggs a bit until they are mixed up. Add the eggs to the boiling water, and they will immediately start to cook, making sort of like egg flower soup you get from chinese restaurants. Stir them a bit so that they don't make one big cooked clump of egg. Then splash in your soy sauce, add black pepper and the chicken bullion plus the seasoning packet. After it looks like the eggs are completely cooked, add the ramen noodles. Set your timer to 3 minutes, because the noodles are best if not overcooked. This is something that my family is thrilled to eat, and I really like it. I see that I get lots of the egg, and lots of the liquid, because it's just so tasty. I've always wanted to be someone with a recipe to pass along, so here's my moment in the sun. :) Use as much water as you like to make it so that you'll get plenty of liquid in your serving, and the noodles aren't just barely covered in the pan. I could eat this every day, and I'm so glad it gives me a lot of protein. Take care!
**Update 5/24/03 Oh my! It's been too long since I've updated, but I've been so busy living I just haven't had the urge to write. I swore I would do it after this month's exam, which was just a couple days ago...so here I am! I'm down to 251! That means I have lost a grand total of 53 pounds. It's just wonderful. I have to restrain myself from shopping every day for clothes that won't fit in a month. :) I've been really enjoying things. We're going to Disneyland in October, and I should really be in great shape by then. I wanted to add to my list of things I am eating and let folks know how it's been. I have a "natural" aversion to grease now. To even THINK of eating something greasy is like thinking of drinking a cup of vegetable oil. It's not because it actually makes me sick or anything- I wouldn't know because even the thought just makes me ill. For instance, potatoes are great...unless my husband fried them in oil. I can't think of eating things like that. Hamburger is the same thing. This really puts a damper on fast food eating! I can't touch a burger or pizza, two of my formerly favorite things. Again, it's just the thought of the grease..and if I do put it in my mouth I want to retch. It's really weird. SO, you say...what can you eat? I dine like a queen, but it has to be "pure" things. I love fresh shrimp and crab. A little cocktail sauce and lemon and I'm in heaven. I crave watermelon, which for some reason I can eat an unlimited supply of. Grapes, lemons, oranges, all sorts of fresh fruit. The taste is wonderful. I also snack on pickles right out of the jar. Now, to be fair I have developed a little trick that I use quite a bit. I am in the habit of chewing up a mouthful of something and then spitting it out. I find that I have to do that or else go crazy with my little tiny servings. I get all the flavor of the food, but never get stuffed and never dump either. It's a bit gross, but hey..it's working. I can cut up a few pieces of steak, chew it and swallow a couple of the chunks...and the rest I just suck the juice out and chew it until it's not flavorful anymore. Then I spit it out. Usually I keep a coffee cup next to my plate and use that as a spittoon. I know, it sounds odd...but if you're sitting there with jaw envy just wanting to chow down, it will save your butt. When I eat fruit and such, I usually spit out the really fiberous parts so that it doesn't fill me up too fast. For instance with watermelon and also with grapes...I don't swallow the skin of the grape. For special treats I eat Kudos Snicker Bars. WHAT!! Yup, that's right. They have a mere 10 grams of sugar per bar, and are just the right size for me to eat a whole one. I don't dump unless something is over 15 grams, so they are very enjoyable. They have chocolate and are SO nummy...just like a real snickers. Well, that's all for now folks. Take care and I'll try to post sooner next time!
**Update 3/26/03 Hello! Well, today I went for my 4 week visit with Dr. B and also to visit the dietician. I'm down 24lbs, and feel really great. You can really tell that I'm slimming down...those trusty sweats that I've lived in for years are starting to get, well...flappy! It's funny actually. My face was one of the first things to slim, so it's nice to see the results easily just by looking in the mirror. For the most part I've been doing a lot better with my eating. I'm getting used to what I can and can NOT eat. If I stick with the things that agree with me, then everything is fine. Otherwise...it's diarrhea and a sore butt. Things that go down well are beans and bananas. :) I'll update more later...
**Update 3/13/03 Yesterday I visited Dr. B. and had my first weigh-in. I'm down 17 pounds!! Everything else is going fine, still have some diarrhea but no vomiting. My incision is all healed up and doing great, and I haven't ONCE thought that I regretted the decision. I have MANY times wished I could eat the things I love, but I've never had a moment of regret. I can eat some sweet things (like juice or yogurt) but it means some diarrhea. If I want to have that moment's enjoyment then I just have to plan ahead. :) I do feel better every day, and am coming along nicely.
**Update 3/1/03 Hello everyone! I'm officially on the other side! My surgery was last Tuedsay, and I was in the hospital until Friday. It was very boring there, as they were crammed to capacity and I had to stay in a surgical overflow room. No TV or anything, and it was basically a ward with curtains to separate each patient. It was loud and noisy, but the good thing was that nurses were available every minute, and I didn't want for anything. My aunt Pat stayed with me every night, so I wasn't alone. I am still very sore and managing okay, but don't really feel like myself just yet. My two year old daughter is running me nuts, and I've only got tomorrow (Sunday) to recover before my hubby has to be at school during the day and she's all mine. I think we'll do okay. I am surviving on cream of chicken soup (YUMMMY!) and jello. Funny how wonderful everything tastes to me all of the sudden. I'm not hungry, and in fact I only worry because sometimes I think I drink too much water and my little pouch gets full. I'll update more later...as of right now I have no idea if I've lost weight or how much it might be. :)
**Update 2/21/03 Well, today is Friday and my surgery is on Tuesday. I'm about to climb out of my own skin because I'm so nervous. Yesterday I had my final pre-op appointment with Dr. Banerjee, and thank GOD for him. Let's backtrack to my feelings prior to that visit...I was getting to the point of internal panic. I just had so many things running through my brain, and it was almost like I had somehow convinced myself that my chances were about 50/50 of having a successful surgery, instead of being my usual confident self. Seeing Dr. Banerjee really put me back on track. He was so comforting and really helped me to relax. He gave us plenty of time and talked to my husband and I about all of the little details. I do NOT have to have a urinary catheter. I was just pleased as punch to hear that. The worst part of childbirth for me was that stupid catheter, and I could have broken down and cried to hear from Dr. Banerjee that it wouldn't be used. Yeah!! So now I'm winding down and only have a few days to go. Pray for me, friendly reader.
I want to take a moment to say some mushy stuff. I love my husband, my family and my friends. I did this for me, and if it turns out badly, then unfortunately they will be the ones to suffer. Going into surgery with a two year old daughter potentially losing a parent is the hardest decision I'll ever have to make. I love her so much, too much in fact to let her grow up with a mom who is "the fat lady".
Anyhoo, if I don't update again before surgery then hopefully my dearheart husband will be so kind as to say something while I'm still in the 'pital.
**Update 2/13/03 Here I am again, it's been yet another month, but this time I'm a mere 11 days from the knife. :) I've never looked forward to anything more. I did all of my presurgical labs and stuff on the third of this month. It worked out pretty cool. I had an appointment with my regular doc. for a "semi" physical, and I managed to get an EKG, chest X ray and labs all done at once. THAT is why I like Kaiser. For every other drawback, let me tell you that it's just amazing to be able to do all of this at once. Same dumb attitude from every technician though...that they don't know WHY I'm having such a risky/lifechanging surgery that is only for "really big" people. I just grit my teeth and sigh. I actually told the x ray tech "Well, I am 310 pounds" and she kind of just looked at me and said "you sure carry it well" as if I was lying and really was more like 200. I just don't get people. I'm all ready though, I've had some second thoughts and been more nervous lately...but I'm all gung-ho for sure. I definitely will be nervous when the day comes, but I'm coping pretty good for now. I just wish I knew exactly what it was going to be like. It's so much like being pregnant for the first time, you feel so out of control, and are impatient to know everything. I go in on the 20th to see my surgeon, so since I have all my labs and everything out of the way I should be all set to go. My sister in law is taking most of the week off to watch my daughter while I'm in recovery, and my mom is supposedly going to be around to stay with me the first couple of nights in the hospital. I know I'm going to need help, and with my husband having back issues he can't really sleep on the little chair they give you for visitors. I've been good about my vitamin and protein regimen...I went to Trader Joe's and got the God-awful B vitamin supplements (YUCK) but better than the Walmart liquid I got that tasted exactly like vomit. I hope my body is ready, and I really feel it's probably as ready as it's going to be. Wish me luck!!
**Update 1/19/03 Hello everyone! Well, it's been a month almost since my last report, and I'm just bursting at the seams (haha) knowing that in a matter of weeks I will be on the "other side" and on my way to a new life. Isn't that wonderful? I've been taking in extra protein, and lots of vitamins. My daily routine now is to have a Boost in the morning (chocolate, and they are tasty!) and then a glass of the Walmart protein powder (also chocolate, and also tasty!) mixed with milk. I then take a prenatal vitamin (I have a ton of these from when I was preggo) and 500mg Vitamin C plus a Hair & Nails supplement that will hopefully keep me from losing too much hair afterwards. Then I also take one of those Calcium supplements that looks like candy. I feel like at least I'm doing something. :) Today I went and got my flu shot. I should have done it a few months ago, but never made the time...and now the Surgeon says that it is a good idea to go ahead and get it done. Maybe it will help me out after surgery. I don't want to get sick like some folks I've read profiles on. It would really stink to get a bad flu and be in recovery from surgery. Plus if I get it then my daughter and hubby would probably get it too...so the misery would go on and on. I have to go get a chest x ray and a blood panel done...but I can't do that until after Feb 1st. So I wait...
Hey, am I the only one that is SICK TO DEATH of people acting like you are a complete moron for wanting surgery? Today the nurse that gave me the flu shot asked me what I was having surgery for, and after I answered her she said "Why are you having that done?" What exactly should I have said? "Ummm...maybe you didn't notice but I'm morbidly obese. It's kind of a downer, so I thought maybe I would have some surgery to try to correct it before I eat myself to death." I didn't say that...I just looked at her. She said "Are you sure you want to do that?" and I told her that I had to wait through a year and a half of Kaiser b.s. in order to do it, so I have had plenty of time to be sure. Sheesh! Anyhoo...take care all. Talk to you next month!
**Update 12/23/02 MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Joy at Kaiser just called to give me the best Christmas present EVER. I am scheduled for February 25, 2003. YIPPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**Update 12/20/02 Well, my last update was for Thanksgiving and this one is for Christmas. Kaiser finally called the other day to let me know that my surgery was going to be in February and that they will call me in January with a date. Duh! I already knew that from all my own legwork. I guess I would have had to wait a whole month just to find that out! :) Anyway, I'm truckin' along...taking vitamins and getting ready. I can't seem to help myself but eat more now than ever. I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that as of my new "birthday" whenever that is...I won't be able to pig out never ever again. That is a big deal. This week I broke down and did some final fatlady shopping. I bought two packs of size 13 underwear (AAARRRGGGHHH! That is up a size!) and four really nice skirts at Gottschalks in a 3x. I have been trying not to buy clothes and make everything last until after surgery, but my stuff is starting to get a little tattered! I'll be so glad to get normal people clothing!! Anyhoo, Merry Christmas everyone...take care and be safe.
**Update 11/30/02 Happy Turkey Day everyone! Well, if my little adventure wasn't wierd enough...check this out: On a routine call to Kaiser (Paula) I asked when they were going to be scheduling my one on one consult with the surgeon(Dr. Bannergy) and they said, "Oh, well we will be calling you in January since your surgery will be in February." ???? Whoa Nelly! Did you say February? So now I'm smiling about to bust. I wonder if I call again will they make it December? :) February is just fine, I'm so happy. So now it looks like it might actually happen...I'm completely overwhelmed. This is going to be like every other "big" event in my life...prom...my wedding...my daughter... the waiting is the biggest thing, and afterwards it's ho-hum can't believe it's been so long since that happened! (At least I'm hoping that's how it will be!) So keep your chin up out there...you folks that are wanting surgery and feel like it will take soooo long to do it. I planned for two years and then waited a year and a half by the time it's actually done. The way I look at it, if I hadn't started somewhere I would still be plopped on my couch crying into my ovaltine. I am so glad I actually took the first step...enrolled in that terribly embarrassing "fat people" class...and stuck with it. I met some great friends and really got to see myself in a different light...and now I'm almost to the end of this chapter in my life. I have leased my mare to a young girl who wanted the opportunity to ride, so by the time next fall rolls around I'm planning to be able to ride myself. My husband is even discussing buying a horse for himself so that we can ride together. Precious Jesus, watch over me and protect me. I am finally getting a little scared because now it is so REAL. I didn't come this far for nothing though, and I put my faith in God to see me through. That's all for now guys and dolls...take care and think healthy!
**Update 11/6/02 Hello all. So much has happened, but with my hands being in constant agony due to carpal tunnel, I just have to give a very brief update. I wish I could say much more. :) Anyway, I got my way and did get in to the Kaiser surgical meeting which was October 21st. That was really no big deal, just as I had predicted, yet another hoop to jump through. Anyone who had done any little bit of research on the surgery could have ran the class and done fine. Anyhoo, at the meeting they brought up that if we wanted to travel to San Diego we could have the surgery done at Pacific Bariatric. So, the day after the consult with Kaiser I got on the phone and called P.B. and got the low down on them. Just so happened that they were having THEIR surgical consult meeting the following week, on the 29th in Bakersfield. I had them send me the lab requests that I needed to have done at Kaiser Fresno, so I went ahead and had my blood drawn and got scheduled for a gallbladder ultrasound. That gave me something to do for a few days. So then we dumped our daughter off with my sis in law and jaunted down to Bakersfield. That meeting was interesting, and I'm glad I went. Totally different than the Kaiser meeting. So, I took home the paperwork, filled it out and mailed it back to them the next day. So now I waited on that a few days and called Kaiser to find out what the deal is...am I finally "approved approved" or am I still "approved pending final approval". This time they say "oh, yes...we have you down for the second or third week of March here in Fresno". ????? Huh? Okay...so that's weird. It's odd because I was told that they are completely backlogged and if I did it in Fresno it would be months and months. Also weird because they now claim that P.B. is pushed out until August, which I know is false. So of course I call P.B. and ask, and they say that isn't true, they are scheduling for March also. They are still waiting to process my paperwork and will be calling me sometime in the next week. (Sigh)
So now here's the delimma I have. Do I completely overturn my entire life and somehow manage to have the surgery in San Diego, where the good docs are, or do I just stick with Fresno because it's convenient? Financially San Diego will be nearly impossible. They pay for MY airfare and MY hotel but not for my spouse. Meaning that while I'm in the hospital my hubby would need a hotel for those four days. Plus I have a two year old child, and she would have to come too because I don't have anyone here to watch her/wouldn't leave her even if there was. Ah well. That's where I am now, folks. My hands have had it for today, so gotta go...
**Update 10/21/02 I had to call and complain to member svcs because the referral to psych was sent in late August, and they attempted to call three times in ONE day, were unable to get ahold of me so they just went on to the next person. I was FURIOUS when I found out, and they tried to put me off until the next surgical consult, in December instead of October. Well, let's just say I got my way and just got home from my consult!! Kaiser Fresno is now sending some patients to Pacific Bariatrics in San Diego, and so I may be having surgery in April, just in time for my birthday!! I am having more and more trouble with my hands, and thus I can't keep up my journal as much as I would like...so that's all I can do for now.
**Update 9/25/2002. Well, this month the update is kinda boring. Having this forum to keep a running diary really helps pass the time. I only update once in awhile, but it still makes a big difference. It helps me to look back and see that there has been a little progress along the way! So, this month we had a couple of things happening. First off my reunion came and went without me. I just couldn't bring myself to go. Part of the problem was that the tickets were $50.00 each and I felt that it was just too outrageously expensive. Keep in mind that I'm Bargain Betty and don't like to spend money on foolishness, and $100. for a night of feeling like a hideous monster next to all of my "perfect" classmates would have just been depressing. I would say though that the cost was only about 5% of the reason I didn't go. The other 95% was that I am a monstrosity. My last weight loss management class weigh in I was 309 lbs. I am really having trouble lately with self appreciation. I am getting physically ill with myself. I have never been one for bouts of depression, but lately I am just sick of being me. I know only the people on this site who are maybe even reading my profile could understand. My husband is a little overweight, but he can't possibly understand the depths of my despair. People ask if I'm worried about having the surgery, and I can honestly say that I would rather be dead than be like this. Some people think that sounds crazy...but I don't. I'm not talking about having perfect boobs or something purely cosmetic...I can't make it anymore like this. So, I guess I have to wait another ten years. That will give everyone else time to gain weight and lose hair...so by then maybe we'll be about even. :) Let's see...what else has been going on? Oh, yeah..I'm off work for carpal tunnel. (Not supposed to be typing!) Going to see doctors and physical therapy all the time is a real pain. Keeps me from sinking too low tho...that's one good thing. When you know you have to go out in public several times a week you can't just lock yourself in and not get dressed or bathe. I think I do sound a little nuts this month...but maybe it's just the deep inside feelings that nobody ever talks about. Part of it is that yesterday my mom and I went shopping. I really needed a new bra. Well, news flash...I couldn't remember my size, so I had to try some on. They didn't have any that fit. Not even at FASHION BUG, the FAT LADY STORE!! Where the heck am I supposed to buy stuff if I can't even find it there! I am guessing that I'm like a 50 DDD because the 48 DD didn't fit. Oh, and I'm too big for a back hook at all. My carpal tunnel might have something to do with that, it's impossible for me to reach behind to fasten my bra. So, I bought the 48 DDD and stuffed myself into it (I had no choice, my others are literally in tatters!) and looked on ebay for bigger ones. Whew, they had some...so now we'll see what the bid gets up to. :) The most recent word from Kaiser is that I had my last nutrition and weight management class. All over, bye bye see ya later. I am going to miss it. So now I've been told that I am in the next group of 20 people that is being submitted to the surgical staff. I have been "pre-approved" by the board pending psych review. Supposedly I have been sent to them and now am just waiting for them to call me for an appointment. Also, I am supposed to be going to the group consultation with the surgeons in either October or November. They claim that I should be having surgery in April/May. Maybe I'm actually on the track to success! Wish me luck!!!
**Update 8/9/2002. Okay, so I'm just going to say it...if you aren't sure you know what's going on in this process, INVESTIGATE and if they make you an appointment GO. I am so glad that I went to the dietician appointment. It turns out that the one that I saw before wasn't actually a REAL dietician...she was a nutritionist. (Sheesh!) Had I blown off this appointment I would have been in a mess. Anyhoo, I went and talked to her, she was really nice and all went pretty well. Her name is Linda Shelton, and she is here in the Fresno Kaiser Main Hospital. I liked her, she was down to earth and understanding, and didn't treat me like a freak. :) So, she said that my next step is to go to the board (that happens in odd months, so NEXT month) and then they will request the psych visit. She said that if I can drop everything at the drop of a hat, then I have a better chance of getting in sooner. People with heavy schedules apparently have a hard time getting in. I don't care what I have to do..if they call I will BE there! :) So after seeing her I was pretty jazzed, and then the very next day a nice lady called me from Kaiser asking how I was doing and checking to see if I had met with the dietician yet. I managed to keep her on the phone for awhile so that I could ask lots of questions and let her know how important this is to me. She was really helpful, and told me lots of things. She mentioned that Kaiser Fresno is farming out some patients to Pacific Bariatric in San Diego (which I knew already) and that the backlog isn't "too long anymore". When I pressed for more, she hesitantly said that she thought I might be able to get the surgery by April. She thought that was lightning quick, but I had to bite my tounge to not complain. April is a lifetime away! SEVEN months. I am thinking I might actually have to go buy some more fat lady clothes, and I hate to do that. I want to get this show on the road and start buying normal people stuff. I guess seven months won't kill me, but it does seem so far away. Jeez, I could almost have a baby in that much time! :))) Anyhoo, at least it's starting to feel a little more attainable and realistic. That's all for tonight...
**Update 7/26/2002. I am so frustrated. It's hot, and I am still so miserable. My feet are swelling, I think I might have carpal tunnel syndrome in my hands, and worst of all I had to go and buy some new underwear in a size 12 last week. (Gulp!) This process is taking so long!!! Yesterday I managed to get the number for my Kaiser's general surgery line. They will rue the day I ever finagled that one! Now I can call and bug them every day. Today they announced that I have an appointment to see the dietician Aug 7th. Well, that makes no sense at all. I've already seen her last year when I was just getting started! Now they don't have any record of that visit and want me to start over. (sigh) I hate to take time off work just to go there and have her say "oh, look here it is right here in your file. Nevermind!" and I know that is exactly where I'm headed. Ah well. At least that means someone is doing something. I still don't know when I go up before the board or if it's even close. I sure wish it was. :) My 10 year reunion is in August. It kills me to think about going like this. I have heard my whole life how people don't want to go to them, and I always thought they were nuts. Well, the joke is on me. I just keep thinking about how I'm going to feel reunited with all my perfect friends who have perfect bodies and perfect checking accounts and perfect husbands. I know, it isn't really like that....but it sure feels that way. I'm just having a low day today. It's Friday, and I had a hard week at work. I wish I was going somewhere, anywhere for about a week. That would be so nice. Anyhoo, I'll update after I see the dietician chick and we'll see what she says.
**Update 6/28/2002. In the past week since finding out that Kaiser changed the rules about length of nutrition class, I have been trying like a mad woman to get in touch with my PCP Dr. Streat to find out what the next step is. They set me up with a phone consultation in a MONTH from now, but I managed to sneak in an appointment today claiming that I had various problems. I really did have some things to talk about, but mostly wanted to get the ball rolling for my surgery! I haven't done the psych consult yet, and I wanted him to get started on that. Well, what happend was that he said that he had to send me off for approval, and then I would get the magic letter and the consult would be automatic after that. Yippie! So I'm right on track. Now I just wait to get my letter....
**Update 6/20/2002. Today was my third month of Kaiser's Advanced Weight Management Class. 'Ya know, I don't so much mind them wanting to teach you nutrition as a prerequisite to the surgery, but they could at least offer a class that was focused on what the surgery would mean to your body. They don't say squat about nutrition in relation to what we will or won't be able to eat after surgery. That bothers me. Other than that, my class itself is awesome. There are some great folks there that I look forward to seeing every time. My instructor is Kathy Barayuga, and she is a wonderful person. Really, she's been down the path of weight loss, and although she didn't have gastric surgery, she knows a lot and is very helpful. I will miss her when my classes are done. Other than that, today's class was a real shocker...apparently Kaiser has changed their mind about how long you have to be enrolled in weight loss class before surgery! Now it's only six months instead of a year, so that means I am eligible in as early as August! You can bet that as soon as I got home I called to leave Dr. Streat a message. I want to get this wrapped up as soon as possible....I'm hoping to be on the other side by December!
**Update 2/10/2002. Well, I have been a little discouraged lately and haven't been visiting this site much. I am about halfway through the FIRST nutrition class Kaiser requires me to take, and that's going okay...but when I look at all of the success stories here it makes me impatient and frustrated. Kaiser wants me to wait through a years worth of classes and crap and all I think is that if I had the surgery NOW then I would be much happier in a year. I hate the thought of being fat for another whole year. Kaiser has an interesting approach to all this...they hope that by boring you to death with these classes you'll go away. :) They require you to go, and if you don't then they figure that you aren't serious. Well Honey, you haven't met serious till you've met ME! LOL! I just wish they could speed it up some. We have also been having insurance issues since Greg lost his job in November. Who in the world can afford COBRA? My gosh, it was going to be $167.00 a month EACH for all three of us! That's nuts! Well, luckily God was looking out for us and Kaiser has this thing called the "steps" plan for folks who don't qualify for welfare, but can't afford Cobra. It's supposed to start March 1st, so until then I'm trying to stay healthy. :) Guess that's it for now, I just wanted to update with something so that it didn't look like I disappeared or changed my mind.
**Update 10/16/01
I had my visit with the nutritionist today. She was very friendly and helpful. Basically she told me that the meeting I'm going to in November is a very general '4 Dummies' type class that is going to say all the stuff I already know, and not much of what I need to find out. That's okay, I can sit through anything to get this surgery. I had an idea the meeting would be kind of lame because the prenatal classes Kaiser has are the same way. I couldn't believe the way they structure the classes...I guess it's unfortunate that in 2001 America, women have to be TOLD not to drink and do drugs while being pregnant. I thought everyone knew that, but apparently not because that's what the whole series of classes focused on. Anyway, I have to go to the meeting because that's where I can sign up for the nutritional classes (which apparently won't get started till next year -bummer-) and that's my very next step. We'll see....
**Update 10/15/01
I finagled my way into an appt with Dr. Streat at Fresno Kaiser. He was recommended to me as a 'surgery friendly' PCP that will support you and help get things accomplished. HE was great! He scheduled me to see the nutritionist tomorrow, and even had me take some bloodwork to get the ball rolling! I am so excited. He said I still have to take the stupid nutrition class, so that's a bummer, but hopefully it won't be as dumb as some of their classes are.
I am a big, fat cow. Boy, it feels good to say that, but you can't help but feel defeated at the same time. At least I know that I have a problem, and want to get it resolved. I have been overweight my whole life, and have always had a negative self image, but recently I had a beautiful baby girl, and I can't see subjecting her to a mother that can't move around. I am over 300 pounds...and am about 5'1 tall. I am not sure exactly how much over 300 pounds because my scale doesn't go any higher. I have been thinking hard about this surgery for about three years...and was waiting to "let them practice awhile before I had it done". I am so afraid of dying...but I am otherwise fairly healthy and still young (27) and have a whole life out there waiting for me. I have Kaiser insurance, and am going for the seminar meeting in November. Hopefully I will be able to get approved and on the road to good health.
