anewleaf
Where's this ride going to take me?
Jan 18, 2010
I am 12 days out and finding different struggles daily. I find myself surprisingly unprepared even though I went through all the preparations the program called for and more on my own, too. Time is going by so slowly, yet, I'm not in a big hurry to meet with nutrition in 9 days. Yes, I look forward to adding a little bit of variety to my CIB and water diet, but, I'm nervous about not losing weight when I do start adding things back. I have lost 25 pounds so far, and have not lost anything in the last 3 or 4 days, and that's being just on water and CIB with 1% milk, and the occasional sugar free popsicle. I'm hoping when my diet gets a little more substantial I'll be able to work out more. I tried the treadmill at the gym this week and was only able to last about 25 minutes, and became very lightheaded and shaky, so I went home for a CIB. Today, I took a nap for the first time during this process, and while I know I needed the rest, find myself beating myself up over it and feeling very lazy. Tomorrow I get my staples out, so I am really hoping I'll be able to swim again starting tomorrow. This should help me feel better, if I can start doing some laps every day.
The first few days I was crying a lot. On day 4 I sobbed basically all day. It was the first tears I've really shed in years and I just couldn't stop. Then the next couple of days I was just really sensitive. Today, I feel much better, more like me. Not weepy, etc. Yesterday I went to one of our daughter's friend's bday parties and that was challenging in a different way, and I probably looked quite miserable, but I was mostly nervous, and it went okay. I brought my CIB with me and had it while we were there. Nobody noticed or commented that I'd stayed out of the kitchen/away from the food. I really watched my daughter play, too. I've already been doing more with my daughter and my husband than I've done in a long time. I'm trying to stay off the computer more than before, but then I'll think of something I want to look up and get on. But mostly I'm doing good being more "present" with my family. I guess that's already one good step in the right direction. ;-)
I'm watching other people's journeys on here, and reading their blogs, and hope and pray some day I'll have made such a difference in my own life that I won't be ashamed to post my pre pics anymore, and eventually post my before and afters. I love looking at them, they are more than inspiring.
So curious where I'll be a year from now on this journey. Or even 6 months from now. Right now, I'm feeling a little bit lonely, missing out on family meal time b/c it's been too hard to sit and watch them eat, so I have avoided the kitchen. Except, tonight, my daughter suggested I have a sugar free popsicle while they eat so I could sit at the table with them. So sweet. I did that and it didn't feel so bad! I didn't stick around after my pop was done, they were still eating, but she even ate better tonight having me there with them, so I'm guessing she's missing me as much as I'm missing them. Figuring out my new "normal" is proving to be trickier than I expected, but we're getting there, day by day.
2 comments
The first few days I was crying a lot. On day 4 I sobbed basically all day. It was the first tears I've really shed in years and I just couldn't stop. Then the next couple of days I was just really sensitive. Today, I feel much better, more like me. Not weepy, etc. Yesterday I went to one of our daughter's friend's bday parties and that was challenging in a different way, and I probably looked quite miserable, but I was mostly nervous, and it went okay. I brought my CIB with me and had it while we were there. Nobody noticed or commented that I'd stayed out of the kitchen/away from the food. I really watched my daughter play, too. I've already been doing more with my daughter and my husband than I've done in a long time. I'm trying to stay off the computer more than before, but then I'll think of something I want to look up and get on. But mostly I'm doing good being more "present" with my family. I guess that's already one good step in the right direction. ;-)
I'm watching other people's journeys on here, and reading their blogs, and hope and pray some day I'll have made such a difference in my own life that I won't be ashamed to post my pre pics anymore, and eventually post my before and afters. I love looking at them, they are more than inspiring.
So curious where I'll be a year from now on this journey. Or even 6 months from now. Right now, I'm feeling a little bit lonely, missing out on family meal time b/c it's been too hard to sit and watch them eat, so I have avoided the kitchen. Except, tonight, my daughter suggested I have a sugar free popsicle while they eat so I could sit at the table with them. So sweet. I did that and it didn't feel so bad! I didn't stick around after my pop was done, they were still eating, but she even ate better tonight having me there with them, so I'm guessing she's missing me as much as I'm missing them. Figuring out my new "normal" is proving to be trickier than I expected, but we're getting there, day by day.
