anim8tor
The last time I remember being close to normal was about 10 years old. Don't get me wrong, just like most other people with excess weight I've dieted and lost and then gained and gained... I've never been able to reach a goal weight and be happy with a weight loss. Something always got in the way of taking care of myself and I've always been last on my list to take care of.
In October 2005 I finally got frustrated with the yo-yo weight and looked into bariatric surgery at Cleveland Clinic in Weston, FL. I was getting married in November and I knew I didn't want to start my married life and possibility of starting a family struggling and only thinking about how fat I was. I found out my employer had it excluded on my insurance with United Healthcare and that I would just have to settle with diet and exercise and I tried to just accept it.
It's only recently started to really consume my life so that I can't get anything else accomplished. I used to be able to really tackle workouts and attempt to eat well. It's gotten hard to exist and just cope with everyday life. I want so badly to take my dogs on a run (or at least a jog) but it's hot, I have jeans or long pants on so my legs don't rub together and I can barely keep up with a swift pace of their walk. They're little shih-tzu puppies, mind you! It's embarrassing. I used to be able to do min. 1 hour work outs, pilates and stretching and now I'm lucky if I can get off the floor. Keep in mind that I have been overweight most of my life, but I was able to be active and "fairly" healthy. When I lost 75lbs I would look at people who had surgery and think that I would never let myself get like that. A few years later that is where I am.
Unfortunately, the job that I worked 70-80 hr weeks at decided to let me go 5 weeks after I got married and then my husband lost his job. We sold our home and moved in with my folks. I had dreams of getting my life back on track and starting my own business but with both of us out of work and having difficulty finding employment it has been a slow road.
Here's the positive stuff. The sequel of my life will be better-I'm determined to make it so! Things will improve with time. I believe that will happen. I hope and pray that there is some way for me to lose weight and keep it off to be a healthier person. Hopefully my husband's new job will have insurance that will cover a weight loss surgery.
