AriesDiva07
My story is somewhat different than most of the stories I've read on here. I started out small,never wanting to eat or try different foods. Most are surprised at everything that I DON'T eat, rather than what I DO eat!
I used to play softball in high school. I used to be in the martial arts (for years). I was burning off the calories I was gorging in chocolate, so it wasn't staying with me.
What changed? I got out of the sport. I continued eating the way I did when I was exercising though. I also was discovering boys at that time and experiencing relationships and letdowns. I didn't know how to handle it, so I did what everyone else on tv did: I grabbed a pint of ice cream and a bag of oreo cookies! More than 15 years later, I have discovered many things!!! I am a lesbian (being the biggest), I don't know how to deal with my problems, and that I used food as a crutch for almost half my life now.
I decided it was time for a change, so I called and scheduled a consultation/orientation with Barix. The orientation is done in group form, and as he was talking to us, he touched me. Dr. Pop stated that he can fix what's going on physically inside of us, but we need to address what's going on emotionally, inside of us. I began to cry, because I became scared. I remember thinking: "I'm gonna have to find another way to deal with my pain, my anger, my sadness...my emotions. And for the first time, food isn't gonna be there for me." I felt like a baby learning to walk for the first time, and that scared the HELL out of me.
Well, it's been a week since my consultation, and I am TRULY being tested as my mother is in critical condition in the hospital. And while my spouse, Cole, is there for me, I REALLY need my french fries...I really need my Ben & Jerry's...I really need my Doritos and my candy bars. But I look at it as a disease, just like alcoholism, I'm taking it one day at a time. I realize, that's all I can do.
But I do want to say, that I thank my boo for the strength and support she's shown to me. She is truly my rock, and I could do it without her.
