Fri - 11/13/09

Nov 13, 2009

I'm feeling discouraged, only 5 lbs since last month.  Sigh.  Things are really slowing down in my weight loss.  I'm a week short of 6 months out and I've lost a total of 72 lbs.  I'm not complaining about the total loss, just wish it were more because I am impatient.  I keep trying to find solace in that slow losers are often told they will have less skin issues.  OK, whatever.  I'm 49.  I'm gonna have skin issues regardless.  All those years of yo-yo dieting truly seem to have wrecked my metabolism.  Again, so frustrating.  I'm teetering on being able to move down another size in my jeans/pants but am still just a tad too large to wear 20's comfortably yet.  OK, let's be honest.  I wouldn't be able to breathe or bend at the knee so I'm stuck in my too-big-in-the-waist 22's for a while longer.  It seems I'm always on the edge; 'just about' or 'almost'.  My weight will be X-amount-and-a-half pounds.  Clothing almost fits.  My proportions are all wrong.  Everthing is hanging off the top half and clinging tight to the bottom.  I hate being a pear shape and I hereby declare should I ever reach a normal BMI, I WILL have some plastic surgery.  Lipo for these saddlebag thighs and a tummy tuck for the gut.  Shearing those areas down would make a better match to my narrow shoulders and waist.  Even as a thin person all those many years ago, I was bottom heavy.  Not a sexy hour-glass shape, just big butt and thunder thighs.  Sigh.  And have I whined about trying to up my calories?  I'm trying but I just can't seem to hold it.  On some days I feel like I can eat a ton of food (and do), and then the next I will feel sick after just a few bites of the same food I had the day before that went down easy.  I read this on the forums all the time and there seems to be no explanation for why this happens.  At least chicken is not as much my enemy these days.  We have a tenuous eating relationship now as long as chicken remains moist.  As always though, I refuse to close my personal blog with all negatives.  I am down 72 lbs. and I don't have high blood pressure and I don't have diabetes and my hip and knee don't bother me until I've been working out for a while.  And those are GOOD things and they far outweigh the extra pounds that are still attached to my body.  So for now I'm staying the course folks!

0 Comments