Feeling discouraged.

Mar 21, 2012

I guess it's all normal, this ebb and flow of emotions when you have such a life changing surgery as the DS.   Recently I have been a bit down with fluid intake, I KNOW I am not getting in the recommended amount.  I have tried a lot, different consistencies, warm, cold, hot, etc.  I just feel so full all the time, bloated full and I don't want to over do it.  So I am just plugging away and doing the best that I can.

I am up and moving around a lot more, getting out of the house but because of my lack of caloric intake, I tire out very quickly.  My right side of my abdomen still hurts a bit, seems like I have pulled an internal stitch or simply did too much and have hurt myself.  With my stomach still hurting, it's effected my posture and now my back aches.  I have found that standing too long or attempting to lay down is very uncomfortable. 

I really want to lay down and get a good nights sleep, but I am only able to lay in bed (on my back with a wedge) for no more then 5 hours or so before I ache too much.  I have attempted to lay on my sides, but it's too uncomfortable.  For a belly sleeper this is miserable.

I have lately been watching a lot of Man vs. Food and other food shows, thinking to myself, "Well, if I can't eat it...at least I can watch someone else enjoy eating!".  The presurgical and post surgical diet restrictions certainly have taken the joy out of eating, it's simply necessity now...not enjoyable or pleasurable.  My Husband thinks I am torturing myself, and to a point he's right, but simply the thought of good food is enjoyable.

I certainly don't feel as if I have lost any weight at this point, I guess I will see when I meet with Dr. Kemmeter on Monday.   I haven't had much in the line of food for the past 9 days, so it's a possibility. 

So I think I am just feeling sorry for myself at this point...can't sleep, can't eat and in some amount of pain.  I just don't feel like my usual self. 

1 Comment