Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Apr 24, 2009

Well, I went back to the LCSW for my follow up appointment. Far from being disturbed by my responses to the standardized test, he was pleased to report that I have, in his exact words, " a very healthy ego".

I could have told him that without forking over the co-pay.

So I have the green light from him to continue. He thinks the only issues I need to address are my propensity for regularly skipping meals, and the lightening-fast manner in which I consume a meal.

I also had my first meeting with the nutritionist, and she expressed the same concerns. After Gastric Bypass, if I eat my food too quickly, it will be virtually guaranteed that I will enjoy every meal twice----once going down and once again coming back up.

I will also have to learn NOT to drink with a meal. Because of the tiny pouch size, drinking at the same times as a meal causes a false sense of being full, yet the nutritional value of the food is not attained.

I promised to be on my very best behavior and to be perfect and act perfect and look perfect.

And my promises were rewarded.

I was given a 5 day Protein Sparing Modified Fast to complete.

Que? You say.

For the next 5 days, I can have NOTHING but proteins as the mainstay of my diet.

Simple! you quip.

(Let me just warn you that if you quip again, I promise to hurt you.)

It may seem simple, but here is how it breaks down:

9 ounces of LEAN protein a day, broken up over 3 meals. 3 cups of boullion a day to replace salt.

Gallons upon gallons of sugar-free beverages such as water or crystal lite. A day.


THAT IS ALL. FOR 5 DAYS!

The idea is that you are forced to make drastic, albeit temporary dietary changes that can actually be scientifically borne out at the end of the 5 days. It tests your willingness to comply with what you are told, it tests your ability to change the way you cook and eat, and at the end of the 5 days......

it tests your urine to see if you are a cheater.

If you do not spill ketones as a result of this restrictive 5 day torture test, you fail.

No ketones, no surgery.


I am only on day 1 and have already survived an acute bout of gagging over my lunch.

The next 4 days should be delightful.

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