30th B-day next week

Jan 10, 2009

I am 7 days away from the big 3-0 and I've always dreaded becoing the big 3-0... but with all the wonderful things that are going on in my life how can I complain?  I've lost 75lbs in six months and I'm wearing a size 12 which I haven't worn since I was 13 years old.  Righ now I feel better physically than I did the majority of my 20's.  I am going out with friends tonight to a disco night at a local club and actually feel really good to be going.  Eventhough I can't drink anymore I am still excited to go and be seen?!?  I can't remember ever being excited to be seen by anyone.  I've always been pretty secure with myself but obviously in such a public forum my self image would take the typical blow.  But right now I am happy and much healthier and newly engaged and pretty much on the top of my game.  It's very exciting.  I am a bt worried about the fact that I have begun to get bored with the foods I eat and I've started introducing some things that I would have considered a no no like tortilla chips and pretzels.  I mean what i eat of them is drastically limited but some day my restriction might not be as good and hell I'll need to rely on me.  And hell that was always my problem before, self regulation.  I just keep telling myself to take a deep breathe and go day by day.  Wedding planning sucks and my fiance might get laid off so that makes a wedding plan useless since we couldn't spend the money anyway.

But my surgery has been the highlight of it all... wouldn't change it for the world! 

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