And so it goes!!

Dec 30, 2016

I had my first appointment with Sandi Branson with Roller Weightloss Clinic in Fayetteville, Arkansas.  They have 3 locations, Fort Smith, Tulsa, and Fayetteville.  I had a complete workup on my health.  They did the H Pylori test, which you blow into a little balloon, drink a tart substance, and wait 15 minutes.  After, the minutes is up..blow up another tiny ballon.  My results came back negative in a few days.

My blood work:

I was very low in Vitamin D.  I thought my vitamins were ok but I realize Im not young anymore, and Vitamin D is a very important part of my Bone health.  I started taking a supplement, and my nails are thick and amazing.   I typically have short nails, and my hair has been thinning somewhat.  I guess if you see yourself in the mirror daily, and you try to ignore the weight, you start to ignore the other stuff too.  I have noticed my hair has grown and seems fuller.  My other blood work showed high cholesterol, in which, I am overweight and guessed it. I was proud not to be diabetic, and since it runs in my family, relieved.  My hormones were all normal.

Lets talk about my APN Sandi Branson:

Lets say kind, considerate and amazing.  She looks you in the eye, and talks to you like your information is vital.  It is of course, but so many times people have judged me according to my weight, you know the look in their eyes when their concentration drifts.  The I am not taking you serious look...Sandi doesn't do that.  I didn't feel rushed.  I feld cared for and valued.  When I had my lap done 10 years ago, I was fat shamed into losing the weight.  Yes, I lost the weight but my emotional issues were not resolved, and it didn't do me any favors.  I feel like part of a TEAM, that in the future will still care that my health is important, mental health included. I suffer from Bipolar type 2, Major Depression, Memory Loss, and residual side effects from a Fungus infection of my Bones, and organs.

Celebrate vitamins and shakes: 

Roller Weightloss sells these products.  I was really apprehensive because I felt like they were probably pushing a product.  The Chewable vitamins are next to chewing on SAND, so get the ones you swallow.  The shakes, they curb the hunger.  I don't know exactly how it does it, and its not necessarily a mircle worker, but it certainly helps.  One shake a day, with skim milk, 1 cup.  Its not too bad.  I tried the samples, which are given as part of your package.  Orange cream, its very good.  Vanilla, tasted plain..not even like Vanilla.  Banana Berry, it was very good, and I purchased a Bag of Cookies and Cream powder, in which was good the first 10 days...not so much anymore, need a variety!!   In no way, am I trying to promote these products or my Doctor.  I am entitled to an opinion, and I will always try to give the next person in line a hand out of vital information.

So, at my first weigh in at the doctors office: 237 pounds, 5 ft 3 inches, 42.1 BMI  mind you, that I was fasting for my blood work.

As soon as I got home, I pulled out my trusty scale, cleaned it up.  The very next morning I weighed, NAKED, nude, in the buff and my scale said 233.4 So there is definately a difference in the calibration of their scale and mine.  I know now that we have about a 4 lb difference.  Today, December 30, 2016 I am 228.0, on my scales. In my earlier post I wrote my appointment was Dec 06, so in 24 days I have lost 5.4 pounds.  I will take that!  I am optimistic that this may be my very last new years feeling fat, and unhealthy.  Goodbye 2016 and thanks for the help of needed change. Why Nude?  We have to start looking at where we are, and accept it!! This is me, I am overweight, and I love food.  I am hurting my health by my addition. I have to look my addiction in the eye, and start loving my body.  It is my addition that caused my stretch marks, fat rolls, and double chin.  Its not my body, it my love of food.  If I don't learn to LOVE myself, then I will never be rid of my depression and low self esteem.  I am trying to make my thought process change.  I haven't been successfull in the past by looking at myself and being discusted. So try something new...enjoy taking care of you.  ENJOY being you. Discover the things that make you, become you.  How have you changed and stayed the same, including your morals, and your views and perception of life and living.  Explore religions, or new social groups, explore who you are.  Stand on those principles, and don't stray for anyone or any emotions.  Easier said than done...My depression is outstanding, and horrible.  I hate it.

I had my Endoscope done on the 19th and my lap band has a hernia in the band area.  My main problem is that I can take a vitamin, and it feels stuck.  In order for my insurance to pay, I have to have an issue wrong with the band or its $5000.00 for the band removal, and then the gastric bypass surgeon fees is paid 100% by my insurance, and the hospital fees are $350.00 per day.  My doctor said that I have GERD, in which all the Acid reflux I had, I knew.  So with the Hernia and the GERD, its probable they will pay for it, not guaranteed.

I got a notice from HUMANA that my labs were not covered and I owe Quest Diagnostics, $230.00.  I plan on bringing that up with my next appointment with the doctor because Humana says not a medical necessity.  I was surprized Humana pays 100% of Physican fees, with my $50 office copays.  I guess Im not in the position to complain too much.

As far as, how I am losing.....

My amazing Husband, and my family. 100% support me.  It makes a huge difference.  The EX did not want me to lose my weight.  It was a control issue.  Got rid of the bad one, and met an amazing fellar that is mine all mine...forever!

Keeping my mind busy.  When I have a craving come on, I go to Pinterest and start looking at things to improve the new me.  I tried a new hair mix, with Castor oil and aloe vera.  I have tried sugar face scrubs, and bath bombs, its fun to try to make it homemade.  I have shaved my legs, and lotioned them.  Tweezing my eyebrows, and looking at all the neat new makeup techniques.  I am planning new hair styles, and looking at my wardrobe that I will have when I am able to.  I plan my monthly bills, I read a romance book, I clean out the cabinets in my kitchen, or my closet, or my sons closet.  I have rearranged the furniture in my bedroom, my living room, and my sons room.  Washed windows, swept porch, cleaned cobwebs, and went through my clothes and got rid of the old ones.  I even started painting.  ANYTHING except run to my fridge and graze.  It helps.  I am not allowed pop, but I had one yesterday.  Its not going to be a cold turkey kind of thing for me.  I want to say for a girl who drank a coke daily, to one a month...its good enough for me.  The part I need to focas on, is what made me finally give in to my one coke.  Thats the part I need to work on. Instead of shaming yourself, analaze it and try a new direction.  I really don't want to hear from people who fat shame others.  It doesn't help, and it doesn't make you look any better, it makes you look pathetic.  I hope to be a beacon of light, a ray of some hope, and a guide to a new and better you.

Last but not least....

I love my music.  Miranda Lambert is my favorite.  I got the new CD to excerise to.  I have a 5lb weight, to use on my biceps and triceps.  I searched Pinterest and found a light Pilates routine I liked too. Crank up the volume on my newest Miranda Lambert and went to work.  I think she feels my pain, we are both on new paths.  I have been where she is emotionally, after a divorce, with a prig slapping his new THANG all over my hometown, it hurt.  It was part of my weight gain, not all. EMOTIONS.  She is putting hers into music that motivates my feet to dance.  I am unable to squat, so no bends there, but I feel like strenthening my core is my objective.  I went outside, and started yard work to MS Lambert too.  I rake and rake and pick up stones.  Everything I can do to stay away from that Fridge....I am a country Fan but I enjoy pop music too.  Try to stay away from depressing music, but find something uplifting.  I enjoy Maren Morris (80's Mercedes), I like Kacey Musgraves (follow your arrow)  I like Ashley Monroe, and Brandy Clark (Daughter).  As for pop. DNCE cake by the ocean, its old but it gets you moving, Some Taylor Swift songs, and Selena Gomez songs.  I enjoy Kelly Clarkson, Adam Levine with Maroon 5.

So if you actually read all this:  Tell me what do you do to pass the extra time, when you are not busy, and you are craving the sweets or like me just a really good fattening meal?  What music do you listen to, to work out in.  What is your motivation?  I hope this information helps one person who is new on their journey and has questions or unknown issues....I am also a Christian.  I think my motivation this month was a painting I saw on Pinterest of the Lion of Judah.  Its a powerful painting of a Lion that is Roaring into the darkness...Letting the unknown know that we are not alone, that our protector is here.  Makes me feel better.

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