BetaOneAgonist
I've battled being big my whole life. In High School I was very athletic... Varsity Track and Cheerleading. I remember wearing a size 11 cheerleading skirt and thinking I was SO FAT. Sigh. However, I was still above the target weight for a person who is 5'8" (150 lbs) ... but it's kind of sad that I did not appreciate how beautiful and powerful (big time into weight lifting) my body was.
So, fast forward 15 years... I have had a career, and then given it up to return to get a second bachelors and then grad school. And all this time, I have slowly but steadily gotten LARGER. Unfortunately, in the past five years, schooling has made me sedentary, and the weight has really poured on. I've dieted... been temporarily successful, but (like the vast majority of people) gained it all back PLUS some.
I have made a few choices about what I DON'T WANT anymore:
I don't want to be judged as a fat person, I don't want to BE a fat person. I don't want to wear fat clothes, or choose clothes for how much they "hide." I don't want to buy men's clothes because that's what fits me.
I don't want to eat in public and have people look at me and think... "Doesn't that fat chick know she's killing herself?" I know that *I* used to think that... still DO think that, about others but mostly about myself.
I don't want to sit in a booth and have my gut touch the table. And as a lot of people have mentioned... I don't want to have to "perch" in those stupid white plastic chairs... uncomfortable and a little concerned that when I get up, the chair is going to come with me stuck to my rear. I'd like to be able to sit on the ground *AND* be able to breathe at the same time.
I don't want to look like my brother and my dad do.. I don't want to hold my breath when I trim my toe nails or tie my shoes. I don't want to avoid looking at myself when there's a mirror, or reflections in windows. I don't want to be hot and sweaty, when everyone else is comfortable.
I don't want to have people look at old pictures of me and not recognize me. I don't want my family and friends to feel they need to worry for my health. I don't want for people to like me IN SPITE of my exterior... I don't want them to have to jump that hurdle of the "first impression" to "get to the real me." How about me having a great personality AND a good first impression? How cool would THAT be?
It would be awesome to hear from anyone who has experienced VSG surgery with Dr. Aceves. I would love to email with you or (if it's OK with you, talk with you on the telephone). It is important to me to hear from people who have NEGATIVE things to say, as well as POSITIVE things to say. I know that this is a support forum, and therefore will be overwhelmingly positive, but perspectives of both sides of the coin would be hugely appreciated.
I'm looking forward to being amongst your ranks. I don't use a ton of smileys or emoticons. Extensive "signature" lines and whatnot are not my style (although I may get a "ticker" at some point!). But don't take that for me being grouchy, I'm happy to be here with you, and I look forward to learning from you and about myself.
All the best,
Beta
