betterbe
My story is probably the same as many in here with only name changes. Been heavy most of my life, spent years going from diet to diet going up and down with weight and never feeling good about myself. I looked into wls about 4 and a half years ago only to be told it was a seven year wait. I left the dr;'s office knowing I would die fat. I just had a picture of a lot of my family members trying to lift my coffin and trying hard not to show the struggle on their loving faces. The people in the funeral home being so diplomatic leading them to the coffins for fat people but never mentioning the weight restriction out loud. I was 42 back then had just recently lost the most important person in my life a few years earlier, my mother and feeling I really had nothing left to give to this world. I had an ace in the whole my grandson Jesse kept me focused on what I needed to do or not to do. I was the only person he had to rely on and was so afraid I wouldn't be around to raise him. I had had him since he was born, took him home from the hospital and just adored him from that day on. My husband and I have been together for over 20 years and he probably doesn't even know how much I really love him and want him in my life. My anger and weight have said a lot cruel things to him, but he has stuck around it much be my good looks hahah. I have 2 children a boy 27 Eric and daughter 26 Candice. I love them both very much and as parent I find it hard to deal with their struggles of no self confidence (taught by me) and they are both very good looking children with no weight problems at all I thank God every day that my children did not have to go through the ridicule of being an overweight child its not a nice place to be. No one wanted me to have this surgery they were afraid for my saftey (don't have agood track record with sugeries so I can understand) but it is a lonely road when they don't understand the pain physical and emotional just living with all weight each day. The dr, said to my husband my first visit to see him, that if we didn't get on the same page he would not do my surgery. Like once again two outsiders were going to decide what was best for me, I think not. We left the office and my husband and I had strong words for each other. He was going to leave if I went through with surgery, I didn't care what he did with him self it was a very tense time, It ended with my descsion, I understood he was not supportive but I was going to do what I had to do. Jump to today hubby still not supportive but loving, grandson still making me smile, and 5 days out of hospital having a VGS. Sore, happy to be alive, full of hope, scared to fail, waiting to see if the new me will make an appearance
Sept 4, 2007 It has been 3 weeks and down 18 pounds and feeling like I miss food already. Talk about an addiction. Being addicted to food is so difficult because you just can't quit it all together. You have to learn how to use it to maintain your body. I am still having a difficulty with the amounts I take in but other than that everything else seems to be going ok. The incision is clearing up really well my tummy is not as sore as it was last week and getting around is a whole lot easier. I guess I will still take it one day at a time.
sept15,2007 Well starting to feel a lot better than I have it a long time. Still not eating much but sorta of got the water regiment down. I still not sure if I have made the right decision with the vgs not to say another wls would have been better it is just such a drastic change maybe I wasn't really as prepared as I thought I was. I am not sure how much weight I have lost because once again I am afraid to step on the scale. I have not had a good bowel movement since my surgery and everyone tells me it is because I am not eating much not sure if that is the way it works. My period is now overdue so I feel a little out of sorts, heres hoping for some regularity in the next few days. :)
