BigMikeFrederic
Michael F. - 22 years old - Bradenton, FL
people who depend on me and have high expectations for my future. I want to make the best life I can for myself and everyone I care about.
My pants size is almost three times my age. This little fact, I hate it like the scourge. I don't have the energy to get up in the morning, I wake up everyday looking at life like a chore. To be honest, I often wish I didn't have to bother. How doesn't obesity affect my life? I know this type of answer is cliche, but, I am 22 years old and my size and limitations make me feel like I am middle-aged or worse. I am a full time college student -online, that is- because I can't move around the school without being winded or so tired and sweaty that I lose any semblance of neatness I managed to muster in getting ready for class. Oh, and to answer a common follow up question, yes, I have tried, I am talking about experiences, not fears.
I want to date, but I am so ashamed and hate myself so much I couldn't imagine any person could have feelings for me as anything other than a close friend, if that. I am fat, miserable, and have bad skin. What would anyone be attracted to?
I get along with almost everyone I meet, here's the secret; they don't know Mike Frederic. People I meet, they get to know my alter ego, the fake, the put-on that allows me to make it through everyday life. I am unable to stomach it sometimes, I feel sick with envy for those who can become comfortable with who they are.
I am constantly depressed, and always have been since I was old enough to understand the way the world around me functions. I am so limited by the putrid and disgustingly squishy suit of armor I must carry everywhere I go that I can NEVER reach my full potential... Well, I could actually, but I need to make a change, improve myself in the most obviously omni-potent method possible. I'd be great, no, make that wonderful, if I could shed the full extra person I carry on top of me, alter ego and all. If I could shed the extra pounds, the somewhat cocky, rude, sarcastic alter ego, who at times intentionally works to make people too intimidated to approach me, he would recieve a swift kick in the pants and be on his way out as well.
If I could gain only one thing from changing my life with this surgery, I wouldn't. I’d want to lose something. I want to forget, leave behind, and never return to my existing life. I want to shake my unending anger, stop being jealous of average people, and actually LIVE. In other words, I would hope to achieve a 180 degree turn.
I am so dependant on my limitations; personal and physical, that I could be a whole new man if I had a chance.
I want to get my education finished and own my own business.
I want to carry on my family name. How many men have you met with the last name Frederic, without a "k" at the end? I am the only one left who is young enough to have a child one day, everyone else is a married woman, or dead from cancer or heart failure. It was so important to my grandfather that I carry on the name of my family that my mother didn't take on my father's last name when they married.
I want to be there for my family in the future and make sure I can do anything I can if they need me, because they have done that for me.
I have always wanted to join the military, my best friend did too. Here's the difference: He told everyone his dream, finished school, and became a Marine. Here is a picture of that day:
(I bet you can pick which guy is me)
The day I watched him graduate boot camp, there was nothing I wanted more than to one day attain that kind of honor. I have never told anyone I know about this, except my mother.
I have NEVER had the chance to enjoy a normal life. I have not a single memory of being able to enjoy life to the fullest. Even as a toddler I was so restricted.
My size and the way it makes me feel is my sole detractor. I am a smart, talented person, I have
