Bolzmed

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Well, May 21st is officially the beginning of my new life, I am now on the losers bench and I couldn't be happier. When I went in I thought I was getting the open RNY, but at the  last minute the changed it to laproscopic, which I was so, so happy about and everything went great. I only had one problem and that was an allergic reaction to either the morphine or the heprin, but after a few doses of benedryl I was fine. Went in on Monday, May 21st and was home on Thursday, May24th. When they weighed me Monday I weighed 338 and today I weighed 326, already 12 pounds gone, goodbye. I am on the liquid stage right now, and it, believe it or not have absolutely no appetite, weird huh. No heartburn at all, very little managible pain and so far a lot of energy. My experience has been really great so far. I am really glad I did not chicken out, it has been so worth it.

Well yesterday I thought I was going to give up the surgery, I was so scared I called my mom crying. My surgery is less than a week away and I just couldn't think about going through with it. But after I spoke to my mom, I called my sister and she made me realize that it was just my nerves. So today I really am at peace with it again. I am just wondering does everybody go through the same thing, to me it seems as if they would. I had my final surgeons appt. on Tuesday and my hubby went, Dr D kept repeating about the 2% mortality rate, that I think is what scared the hell out of me. I have had a lot of people tell me that I will be fine and that they are praying for me. That has made me feel 100% better than I did yesterday. I just truely can't believe that the surgery is on this coming Monday, wow it got here fast. I wish all my friends luck on there surgeries and I will be updated you as soon as I am feeling better and decide to get back online.

I have definitely been trying extremely hard to do the liquid diet, without any problems, but the first few days were awful. I ended up eating a few things,mainly peanut butter on 1 slice of bread one the first day. Second day was a little better only had a bowl of brocoli. Same with yesterday. Today, I can honestly say I am doing great. Can't believe how much I have to pee though(sorry if too graphic), but I swear every 5 minutes. 3 slimfast, water and crystal light(classic orange and peach iced tea). But I swaer everything on gods green earth is getting on my nerves. I am temporarily taking in 2 cockitiels until my mom gets down here for my surgery on the 21st, she loves birds.,myself I really don't care for them, right now they are driving me crazy to much noise. Stupid thing to get upset about right. 1 week and 2 days til my surgery OMG I am so anxious,nervous ,excited. I can't wait to be on the losing team, then I will be a winner. I am trying hard to keep busy and get things done around my house, so all my family will need to worry about is minor cleaning chores. I went for my pre-op testing last week and on Monday the surgeons office called and told me I had a UTI and had to pick a antibiotic and start it right away. I hate getting UTI's because I never feel any pain from them. That is probably because when I was a kid I had terrible kidney infections and I was in horrible pain with those. I will write one more time or two if I get the chance before my surgery.

Well tomorrow I start my liquid diet for 2 weeks.. Slimfast low carb and water and water with crystal light. Well this will really be a test for me. Hopefully I will do well. I have a wedding, a birthday party  and family will be here, I really am going to have a hard time, going to give it everthing i've got. I have attempted it on two different days and did really good, but this is TWO WHOLE WEEKS. I am really nervous, but I know that I will do well, I just have to remind myself this is a lifestyle change.

Wow, can't believe that there is only 3 weeks before my surgery date.OMG reality gets kind of scary at this point. So much is going on this month. So many appts, this month is just going to fly by. My life is going to change, so much and so fast. It has been like a whirlwind so far. I really wonder what I am going to feel like after my surgery. I am having the open RNY procedure. I have heard that you have pain for about a month. I am sure I'll be able to deal with it. I can't wait to start losing the weight. I wonder what I will look like, after I have lost 100 pounds. But what I really would like to see what I will look like at 145 pounds, which is my ultimate goal. Wonder if I am expecting to much of myself. At the time of my surgery I will probably weigh at least 340. I guess I will find out.

Well, I guess reality hadn't set in until I got the paperwork yesterday. I got  the shakes, when I got out to the car. Actually knowing that  next month is the month that all the final tests and appts take place and then the surgery itself. Wow it got here fast, but I am ready. I have made so many friends on this sight and I am happy to share , what I am going through, and I like that I can ask questions of people that are farther in the process than me.

Well, I can't believe that it is already April 10th and my surgery is just a little over a month away. I know I changed how big the writing is in the middle, but I forgot to do it at the begining. Been to one support meeting and have been on a tour of the Bariatric area of LMH. Really reaching out and trying to find people to learn things from and others in the same stage as I am. Noticing that if you ask questions a lot of are willing to, tell you what their experiences are. I have that writing my feelings down in the journals helps me deal with a lot of my underlying feelings. But I also have realized that I'm getting more nervous and becoming snippy at people for stupid little things. Probably a normal nervous reaction, I have tried to ask everyone to be patient with me, things will get better soon.

Well today was my first day doing physical therapy, to build up the core muscles in your stomach and your sides. It is supposed to help when you have to get out of bed and move around after the surgery. Today, I can all ready tell how it will affect me. I went this morning at 10, it is now 2 and my tummy is a little sore and my sides too. It is kind of exciting. The exercise isn't that hard, it takes some concentrating and stamina, but not hard. I get out there and start walking again, boy the weight will look like it melts right away, after the surgery.

Having problems with patience, my daughter is graduating from the D.A.R.E program that she did in school, today and because of my size i can't fit into the auditorium seats, so I wished her well but because of my knees I can't stand for long periods of time ,so I'm not able to be there with her. I want the surgery to be here and done so I can lose weight so I can do things like watch plays, awards ceremonies, concerts, indoor movie theatres things like that. hopefully by the end of summer I will have lost enough weight to go to some fairs and do some longer distance walking. I guess I am an impatient person when it comes to something that could give me a whole new outlook on my life. I had to vent my problems or I would self destruct.

My friend that first got me started on my journey, told me a relative of a friend of hers died after the open RNY, but I don't know anymore details. I know she had a blood clot. But after you here something like that, it really makes you think if what your doing is right. My sister which was kind of against the surgery to start, but now is rooting me on, said that I shouldn't let it deter me because we don't what all her problems were to begin with. I'm still moving forward, but making sure that i'm in as good of shape as I can be before my surgery date. Well any comments would be appreciated, hopefully the joy overcomes the worry.