gotta blog

Jul 13, 2010

I think I need to blog to get some of my emotions out.  I am so angry with my surgeon.  I am told to stand on the x-ray machine, tipped back, gouged with the port needle and then barked at.  Never a word of encouragement.  And I have lost weight every time I have gone in for a fill! " No milk!  No protien shakes!  No protien bars!  Eat meat the size of one small eyeglas lens, three times a day!  Just that and water and vitamin, you will be fine!"  Good grief!!!!!   I don't think that is realistic and it is beginning to cause me problems psychologically.   I'd like to know what the surgeon eats!

I am going to a class at he end of the week called nutrition and behavior modification.  I hope that helps.  Ithink I need some visual examples of what a plate of food for a lap bander looks like.  When I hear only eat 1/4 cup of food I can't picture how a small piece of meat and a fruit and veggie should look.  Or I am told 1oz. of food only....seriously????!!!!!   

I have lost 57 lbs in 7 months and I think that is fantastic.  Now I am starting to want to binge eat, out of emotion.  Sometmes the reasons are silly, but emotional hooks nonetheless.  Last night I went swimming at the pool where I learned to swin in as a kid and -  had some of the best times of my life in as a teenager - a slender one!  Sigh between missing being a kid, and mourning that lovely, healthy body I had as a teen.  I started to crave ice cream.  My folks took me to ice cream store after swimming sometimes.  Soooo....that's where I ended up yesterday!  And I went on an emotional eating binge!!!!  Two ice cream bars in the ice cream store, then two more at the convenience store across the street to eat on the drive home!!!!  I've gotta learn better ways to cope with my emotions!!!!!

Ok, now I feel a little sleepy...wasn't supposed to get up til 9:30.  I think I will go back to bed for a bit.

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