T'was the Night Before Surgery

May 18, 2011

Well, tomorrow morning - bright and early at 5:30am - I'll arrive at the bariatric center for my RNY procedure. Today, I endured Day #2 of liquids only and the bowel prep. Ugh. Believe me, there's nothing left inside me but guts. And, actually that's a good thing since guts is what I need to go through with this surgery.

My journey began last December. Since then, I've busied myself reading two message boards and have surrounded myself with healthy, (most are post-op), like-minded people. Thank goodness I've had others who have blazed the trail before me and given me much advice. From what to take the hospital, to what to expect a week, a month and a year from now. I've prepared by not drinking with meals, I've watched youtube videos and had conversations with others who have been there - done that. It's been more than helpful and I hope to mentor others through this process some day.

I'm ready for the healthy changes that are about to occur. I'm looking forward to lower blood pressure, less fibromyalgia symptoms, less hunger and more energy. And, did I mention buying smaller clothes? Sure, all great goals that will finally become a reality for me. It's one of the most exciting things I've ever gone through in my 50 years of life.

My poor husband is not so excited. He's been cleaning the house all day and asking me if I'm nervous. My answer has always been the same, "No, I'm not nervous." He, on the other hand, is quite nervous for me. I know he loves me and wants me to succeed, but on another level, I know he must be wondering how all of these changes will affect him. And, he's worried I might die. I've tried to reassure him that God is in control and he can let go. 

Since deciding on this path, I've kept up with my water aerobic classes three times a week, I've stopped drinking with meals, I've educated myself about nutrition. No, I haven't shared my decision with very many people. It's a choice I wanted to make for myself and not worry about what others are thinking. Or saying. Or not saying.

I've left it all on the table. Bad food choices, low self-image, worrying about the scale, indecision as to whether to do this and loathing how I look in a bathing suite.  Along the way, I've had hurdles - and I've thrown myself over each one. For the first time in my life, I'm putting my health and my life first. And, it feels right.

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