bunnyandbubby
Total and Complete Life Change
May 13, 2010
I have not written a blog in soooo long! Life has been crazy, finishing up a year teaching (a job that I hate) and getting ready to move to Las Vegas with my fiance. I am now in Onederland... 195 pounds (down from 290, surgery 12/16/2009)!I couldn't have imagined what a life-altering experience this would be. Really. It has changed me in so many unimaginable ways, other than just the physical. Beyond even the direct ramifications of the surgery, other things have emerged from my RNY. Let me explain.
I have been in total and complete financial dire straits since I graduated in December 2008. I moved to Lubbock, Texas soon thereafter to be with my fiance. There was no way we were going to do the long-distance thing - just too painful. So five days in, I totaled my new car. Ten days in Texas, I had an apartment fire. I was unemployed for so long that my savings dried up completely. Lo and behold, I was able to find a teaching job... teaching elementary music. Not what I always dreamed of (I wanted to teach high school), but good enough for a first job. Supposedly.
This year has been a NIGHTMARE at school. I knew I would be discontent in my job - this I knew on the first day. Fine. It was something to get through with as much enthusiasm as I could muster for the sake of the kids. THEN I had my surgery, and my whole professional world crumbled. I faced criticism and discrimination because of my choice. I was forced to resign rather than being terminated, and my principal told me I would never be able to work in education again. All of this without the advantage of even one classroom evaluation. How could this woman know if I am a bad teacher without stepping foot in my class?????
Fine. Whatever. So I decided to go to the University of Nevada-Las Vegas to pursue vocal performance. I love to sing. However, after spending months applying for financial aid, I realized that I cannot afford to go back to school at this time. I was left thinking, now what? Crippled with debt, I must work more hard than I ever have before to bail myself out of my situation so I can pursue future opportunities.
But then there was something else in the back of my head..........do I really want to make music for a career? Doing so would put pressure on the whole process of making music, and I would burn out. I know it. I don't want to be a starving artist forever. I had this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that there was something else out there. And I thought I knew what it was.
I remembered what it felt like to wake up from my RNY, fresh with hope and optimism. I remembered how kindly the staff treated me at the hospital. I remember the nurses helping me do even the simplest tasks so I was comfortable and well-cared-for. Then it dawned on me... THAT'S what I want to do! I want to be a bariatric nurse!!!! It's always been a thought that I've pushed away, because it so far deviated from what I thought my life would be.
I keep thinking... maybe there was a reason I had to have a food addiction. Maybe I was fat for so many years so that I could help others without judgment. Just maybe.
So now I have a plan: work for 6-12 months tirelessly to amass savings... then go to nursing school, which costs a LOT less than a Master's in vocal performance with about 100 times the satisfaction. To make the package even sweeter.... in a sickening-sweet kind of way.... my fiance Nick is studying to be a bariatric surgeon :)
So although I'm broke and destitute... I'm beaten down and my dreams are completely altered... I have not been defeated. Life has handed me a reward much greater than the reward I could have dreamed for myself before. How much better could it get?
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About Me
Henderson, NV
Location
22.2
BMI
Surgery
12/16/2009
Surgery Date
Oct 22, 2009
Member Since
