carrie-clayton
I grew up in a small town in Maine, oldest of 2. I never was comfortable with my body. I don’t think I was “fat”. But I was “endowed” and not comfortable with it. I wore LARGER clothing to try to hide it… which made me look large. I listened to people tease me. Shrugged most of it off. (5’11”, 155lbs.)
From there, a few horrid relationship. (verbal/physical) I found relief in a bottle. A few miscarriages. Decided that food would always be there for me and turned to it more and more.
I finally saw I needed to become a better me. I needed to make some positive changes in my life.
January 2005, I quit drinking. August 2005, I quit smoking. My doctor suggested gastric bypass on a few occasions, but I did not see myself as I was. With the changes I had made, I was still unhappy and severely overweight. December 2007, I weighed 454 lbs. That was when I started this journey…
There were may steps… I will not mention them all…
I do remember, sitting in the parking lot of the hospital… Needing to go to a meeting… Others who wanted gastric bypass would be there… I sat there and cried for 40 minutes. Just the thought of having to walk the parking lot, then through the hospital… This was going to hurt… would I be able to walk that far?
I sat through the meeting. Listened to everyone discuss what would need to be done to be able to get surgery, and things that will change after. We then walked to the other end of the hospital and sat in on a meeting of others. These people had already had the surgery and discussed their experiences. I was still reeling from all the info from previous meeting. I could die. BUT if I didn’t do it I WOULD DIE! My heart would not be able to keep running this body that I had destroyed. I knew people who had had the surgery YEARS ago. Some had done well, others had passed away. Which would I be? I wasn’t diabetic or have blood pressure issues. In the process of qualifying I found out I had severe sleep apnea. I was put on a BIPAP machine.
Due to my size moving was hard. Exercise was little to none. But I started to move more, the best I could.
I got my surgery date… It was scheduled June 2nd, 2008. The surgeon asked me what my goal weight was. I said I would be happy at 200lbs, she said it was a great goal, but thought 220 lbs was more likely.
I did not have many people to talk to about all of it. Some tried to talk me out of it. Some would just get wide eyed during the conversation. Others were my cheering squad. (later found out a few were very apprehensive but said nothing.)
I changed my eating habits. Was hard for me to follow list of suggestions given to me, due to my allergies. (example: if I consume lots of “sugar-free” things, my throat gets raw.)
BUT… On May 8th, 2008, I went to change a battery in a smoke detector. I got one foot on the chair. When I went to put up the other… the chair flipped, so did I. I hurt my right knee. What a set back. I thought surgery may have to be postponed.
It was kind of a whirlwind, the last 3 months. It really didn’t settle in till I got some paperwork in order, the week before the surgery. I wrote up a living will and directives. Then I wrote and obituary. I balled the whole time. It was sad. I listed my loves, and joy of becoming an aunt, the sorrow of never becoming a mother, and listed out my dear friends.
June 2nd, my mother drove 2 hours to pick up me and my husband and take us to the hospital. The day of surgery I weighed 377 lbs. I had Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass. 5 little incisions. As a friend used to tell everyone, “they rearranged Carrie’s guts!” My mother waited till I got into recovery room, she let my husband come in and give hugs before she drove him home. I ended up spending 2 nights in the hospital. Had some friends come visit me. (Nicole and her daughter, Raven and her family, Sarah and her friend, and Craig.) The staff there were wonderful! The people in my room… ehh. One of the ladies used a can of hairspray to hold her hair to be able to go home. My chest got tight… it hurt to breath. The staff reacted fast, they got me out of the room and into a “hairspray free” room for a few hours till my room aired out. The hospital wants you to walk around before they discharge you. I had a hard time with this, due to my knee. I managed to walk around the nurses station as required.
On June 4th, Nicole came and drove me home. Was horrid getting to my bed on second floor apt. The next two weeks, I was in my apartment. My sister and her family came and saw me one day, Nicole called daily to check on me, very few visitors. I took the pain meds the first few days. But I did not like the detached feeling and stopped taking them. I believe I only missed a few weeks of work.
By June 18th, I weighed 356 lbs.
By July 16th, I weighed 342 lbs.
In July I was given an opportunity to move into another position at work. (I had been working 40 hrs on weekends, this would mean being on shift Sunday night till Friday afternoon.) I moved out of our apartment. This was the end of my marriage. It was rocky before the surgery. It started off with us getting along. Even after the divorce that November. But like everything else things change and we no longer speak to each other. I miss our friendship. (Neither of us were perfect.)
By August 27th, I weighed 325 lbs. (-129 lbs from heaviest, -52 since surgery date.)
I started to be able to walk more without crutches. I went on walks with Nicole and her daughter. I was starting to see the improvement in my quality of life.
By Feb 25th, 2009, my weight was 238 lbs.
By April 2009, my weight was 222 lbs.(-232 lbs from heaviest, -155 lbs from surgery date.)
May 2009, I was using t-shirts that, at one point, were too small to put on, as Very Big nightshirts.
In June 2009, I started wearing dresses. I liked the way I looked. I was not comfortable in a dress, but actually looked like a girl again. About this time I started going to the monthly meetings regarding weight loss. About a year out from surgery I sought out a group that could relate to what I went through.
Summer of 2009, I was walking for fun. One day I walked 14 miles… for fun!!! I never thought I would walk for fun!!!
By Aug 31st, 2009, my weight was 188 lbs. (-266 lbs from heaviest, -189 lbs from day of surgery.)
That October, I was interviewed for a hospital magazine, regarding my weight loss and weight loss support group. It was published in early 2010.
By Feb 11th, 2010, I weighed 174.5 lbs. (-279.5 from heaviest, -202.5 lbs from day of surgery.)
By March 1st, 2010, I weighed 170 lbs.(-284 lbs from heaviest, -207 lbs from day of surgery.) I was the smallest I had been in over a decade!!!
Somewhere around there the surgeon told me I needed to stop loosing weight.
Please give me ideas for what info you would be interested in me adding.
About Me
Before & After
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