caterpillergrrl
Ok so this is how it started.
about a yr and 1/2 ago I had a miscarriage
during that short pregnancy I had gained a good amount of weight.
When I lost the baby, something didn't feel right
I had all this "baby weight" but no baby.
For the first time in my fat life I decided I NEEDED to lose weight.
"How should I go about it?" I thought'
I had never tried before.
I did not live a life of habitual yo-yo diets
and self loathing
So I had no idea where to start.
Luckily for me, I have an awesome hubby who is supportive
I joined Weight Watchers (here on out refrered to as WW)
AND saw a DR
AND a dietician, Fran I LOVE HER
plus I ran my mouth and told EVERYONE
This would guarantee I could not fail!
No such luck
I got pregnant with Emmett
I felt deprived
I was hungry, and after all I WAS eating for TWO!!
Well I got bigger and biGGER and still BIGGER
the biggest I have ever been in my whole life.
Now I'm big and tired AND I have this baby to run after.
So shortly after his birth I started doing research
LAP-BAND
an operation where the Dr inserts a small rubber band
(not to be confused with a gum-band)
around your stomach to make you eat less
4 oz to be exact
I did all the reading
contacted the dr
went to the app't
saw the dietician(theirs, not mine)
saw the exercise guy
saw the psychotherapist
(who claims I'm sane)
and then...
LOST MY INSURANCE
or so I thought
for a month we tried to figure out how we were gonna do this
$14,500 is a LOT of money
maybe Dr. Phil can help???
I called personal insurance companies
$165 a month and thy MIGHT cover the surgery
MIGHT???
Not good enough
so I cried
Paul suggested we put it on a credit card
to prevent a heart attack...just CHARGE IT!
sounded like maybe we could do that
but I was scared
but willing!
Then we were told I would have my insurance for 5 more months
Paul changed jobs and this helped.
Then yesterday
September 10, 2007
I got a letter
DENIED!!!
I cried some more
called the mean lady at the Dr's
who said that they didn't get the whole set of papers
they denied me too soon.
I DID, in fact, have everything I needed.
A few hours later, the mean lady called again...
APPROVED
I cried AGAIN
I couldn't call Paul
he didn't take his cell phone with him yesterday
:(
I told Stacey
she cares!
I told Sidona,
she did not!
It's hard for me to imagine
this is the kind of thing
that happens to OTHER people
not ME!
Today and for the next 2 weeks
I must starve myself
"the last crash diet ever"
says the DR
(he must not know it's my FIRST)
one shake for breakfast
one for lunch
and a WW meal for dinner
whilst my family dines on the yummy taco-bake I made yesterday.
We would have had it yesterday but we went out
to Cici's for my last hurah!
Years of celebrating with food
using it for comfort
partying with it
associating with it
using it for a reason to visit with friends
or just something to do
it was the longest relationship I ever had.
But now I will have more time with my kids
heart disease may diminish
diabetes, never show up
I will be able to shop where the "regular" ppl shop
no more fear of walking through crowds
( a fear I developed in high school)
and it is a life change
for the better.
It'll be hard
wish me luck,
time for my shake
