Ceciliabug

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I am only 6 weeks out from rny surgery but I have only lost 28 Lbs this seems like I should have lost more. I don't know if this is true or I'm just in need of some patients. I find it frustrating that I cannot just EAT at times and it seems like I'm always physically hungry and the protein needs are hard to meet (no pun intended) because if  I don't chew enough,  I throw up and it always feels like a lump in my throat, and I thought lunch meats would hold me but now I cant deal with the taste. And the other thing is I don't seem to go #2 very often at all maybe once a week, is this normal? I cant wait to really see a big difference on the scale, to make up for all these adjustments in my life. I have had some time to do some soul searching due to the fact that my crutch of food has been ripped away. I now realize how much I depend on emotional crutches and have worked to eliminate them from my life and fly solo, not an easy thing to do but in order not to repeat the past I must learn how to live without them. I would love to feel happy and whole in my own skin physically and emotionally that is my goal I don't want to depend on outside forces in life, only on myself mainly. I look to food, friends (not giving them up), other people's acceptance, shopping, TV, to numb myself so I don't have to face life or my issues or unwanted emotions. I use my fat as an excuse not to participate in life and as a barrier in many ways. Now that I am aware I must change these things. For those of you who pray pls pray for me for those of you who don't, please send some good thoughts my way...... This is going to be a long hard road but one that  I think will help me grow as a person.....Thanks for taking the time to read this blog :-)