Chelle27

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It's been a looong time since I've posted anything. This morning my weight was 201. Yay! I've been stuck around 205 pounds for the past 3 months or so, but I only have myself to blame for that. I haven't been exercising as much, and I've let some carbs into my life. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

So...I'm whipping myself back into shape. I've started exercising again, and I'm cutting down on the carbs. It's making a difference! My overall weight loss so far is 134 pounds. Not too shabby! I'm currently wearing size 18/20, and I have a ton of old clothes in my closet that are waiting to be worn...they range from size 10 to size 16. I don't know if I'll wear all of them, but we'll see. My goal all along has been 160 pounds. I have 41 pounds to lose to reach that goal, and I know I can do it if I get my butt in gear!

I'm three months out from my surgery date, and I'm feeling good!

It was rough for awhile, but things have gotten progressively better. My energy increases daily, and I'm losing weight steadily. I'm down 65 pounds!

I'm able to eat food much more easily. I feel like I have just the right amount of restriction right now. Almost everything goes down well, but only if I eat it slowly and in moderation. If I eat too quickly or too much, I feel it. I like having that barrier that keeps me from overindulging. I hope it never goes away!

In addition to all the extra energy and the elated feeling I get from seeing the numbers drop on the scale, I'm feeling really good overall. I'm feeling better about work and I don't dread getting out of bed in the morning the way that I used to.

I'm trying so hard to hold on to this feeling. I don't want to fail, and I know I'll need to work hard to make sure I can make this surgery work for me. So far, so good! Lets just hope I can keep it up!!

I had my surgery 10 days ago. Counting the two-week liquid diet I was on prior to surgery, I've already lost a total of about 25 pounds.

My first ten days haven't been without incident. I was released from the hospital 4 days after surgery, but was re-admitted 3 days later because I was vomiting and dehydrated. I was so upset at having to go back to the hospital, but they got me hydrated and feeling better, so that's good.

I have to be honest and say that I'm not feeling so optimistic these days. I suppose the rough start dampened my spirits. I can't seem to tolerate the protein drinks, and for awhile, everything I swallowed...water, juice, protien drinks, pudding... was making me feel like I wanted to hurl. It was a horrible feeling.

I'm feeling quite a bit better physically, but there's a huge sense of sadness and sometimes almost a sense panic that I feel everytime I realize I can't eat what I want. I know...I know... probably should have dealt with that before surgery!! I suppose I knew that I would have to make changes, but I didn't realize it would be so difficult. I knew I loved food, but I don't think I realized how much I depended on food until it was taken away from me. I've been told I'll be able to eat again, but that doesn't quench the urges of the moment, and it actually scares me a little. If I want this surgery to work for me, I clearly need to change the way I think and feel about food.

Last Friday I received a surgery date from the Bariatric Institute of Wisconsin. The approval process through the insurance company couldn't have gone more smoothly. I had applied for an in-network extension with my insurance months ago since there are no in-network surgeons who perform the DS surgery. When BIW called to get approval, they received an answer the same day. I was approved with the in-network extension, saving me over $4000. Yes!!!! How incredible is that?!?!?! I have been pleasantly surprised by how easy my insurance company has been to work with. I know many others are not as lucky.

My surgery date is August 28. I'm nervous, excited, scared, impatient.... you name it, I'm feeling it. Aaron has been wonderful, of course. He's happy for me, but I think he's a little worried too. He knows the risks, though he doesn't like to talk about them. He's also excited for me. He knows how much I'm looking forward to being able to do things like go to the fair and ride the midway rides, go with him and his son to Brewers games, tie my own shoes, walk up the stairs without stopping to rest half way up....

I'm having trouble focusing on anything except the surgery. It's only a month, but it feels like a lifetime away. I hope the time goes quickly...but not too quickly!! I want to hang onto the excitement and anticipation for a little while longer.

Last month I met with Dr. Engstrand, and I couldn't be more happy with the choice that I made to have this surgery. I'm really glad that I stumbled across the Bariatric Institute of Wisconsin. The people there have been great so far.

Last week I had my nutrition class and my physical therapy appointment. Once the clinic receives the records from those appointments, they'll have all they need to submit my information to the insurance company for approval.

I'm so excited that it's finally happening. This past year has been such an emotional rollercoaster. I am at the edge of my seat. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything else. I can't get myself to concentrate on work... all I can think about it how much my life is about to change.

Yesterday I found the DS forum, and I thank God I did. The people there have been so helpful. They answered all of my questions patiently, and I believe I received more answers and felt more at home in that forum than I've felt anywhere else throughout the entire process of pursuing bariatric surgery. I've made up my mind to have DS surgery, as opposed to RNY. I truly believe it is a choice I will be more comfortable living with.

I have an appointment with Dr. Engstrand from the Bariatric Institute of Wisconsin on May 30. Members of the forum have advised me to exercise caution when I meet with the surgeon and to ask questions about how many surgeries he's performed, rate of success, etc. I am so thankful for their words of wisdom. I really hope the appointment goes well, and I hope that he is able to perform the DS surgery for me.

Right now I feel like a kid the week before Christmas. I can't contain my excitement, and the time can't go by fast enough. I've been working at this process for so long, and it has been such an emotional roller coaster for me. It can't happen soon enough.

Aaron has been with me every step of the way, bless him. He is more than I could have ever asked for. He holds my hand and gives me kisses and tells me it will be okay. He listens, and he gives his support. He keeps me grounded when my emotions get the best of me, and he reminds me every day that he loves me. I am so blessed to have him in my life.