Christy36

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Phew...so much has happened since I posted last.  The main thing is that I lost my mother last month.  She was diagnosed with lung cancer a few years back but responded well to treatment and last August was given a clean bill of health.  In February she went in for a routine check up and received a second lung cancer diagnosis.  I don't know if this tumor was more aggresive than the first or if she was just tired but within two months she was on oxygen and could no longer walk across a room without having to sit down and rest.  She finally had to be admitted to the hospital with a collapsed lung and pneumonia and died two weeks later.
I am finally feeling like I will live through this.  I spent the last few weeks feeling like my life was over as well as hers.  I wasn't sure how to live in a life without my mother in it.  I just keep focus on the fact that she is no longer hurting and her suffering is over.
The other big news is that I got on the scales this morning and I have lost 99lbs.  I almost cut out that one pound but felt that would be cheating:)  I am so glad I took the step and had my surgery.  I just can't believe how much better I feel.  I still have about 70lbs that I want to lose but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

It's been 9 weeks since I had my surgery.  Since I started the process, I have now lost 60lbs.  I can't believe it!  I can already see such a change in not only my body but in my spirit.  I don't feel as much like a loser as I used to.
Everyday when I put clothes on that used to be tight and they are now too big....I can't believe I waited this long to do this.

Well, it's finally here.  Four days from today, I will have my surgery and be on the way to a new me.  I am not as nervous as I thought I would be, although I have had my moments.  I am just very anxious...I want this over and done with.  I have now lost 30lbs since my first consult w/my surgeon and am really happy with that.
I have been thinking of all the new things I want to try after I get to a healthier weight.  I want to run, I want to take some of the fabulous bike tours that Va has to offer....I might even try kayaking.  But I will be perfectly happy to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without having to stop and catch my breath.  Or to have the energy to go out and do things with family and friends and not spend most of my time lying on the couch because I am too tired for anything else.  To be able to walk into a clothing store and buy something because I like it, not just because it fits.  So many things are going to change.  
My greatest fear is one day getting back to the place I am right now.   That would be horrible and I am not sure how I would handle that.  
I have faith in this....I know I will be fine......there is no other option.

I got on the scales this morning and had reached the first 20lb mark.  I needed to get that done before my surgery on 12/11/06 and had been hovering around it for almost a week. I'm so excited to have that first milestone off my shoulders.

Well, I got my packet of info with everything I need to know for pre op.  I don't know why but for some reason I am now getting nervous.  I guess it's because suddenly it has become real.  Surgery was always so far off, almost like an abstract thought but now the dates are set, the plans are made and I don't know how I'm going to handle this.  I seem to be taking ALOT of deep breaths these days.