My current thinking Nov. 23,2011

Nov 23, 2011

 Hi 
First of all ,please excuse my horrible spelling and grammar ! I am getting information and looking into diff. options of surgery. My family is very against this idea. I first looked into doing it about 5 years ago,but did not continue when I found out my Father was ill. I felt like it was selfish to think of myself when he was dealing with a incurable diagnosis,and my family had enough stress. This was also before the newer and less invasive procedurce were avalible.   
      A lot has happened since then....................
 I am "seperated" from my husband now - have not lived together in over 31/2 years but try to be "co-parents". I mention this only because I know my desire for weight loss surgery really is for ME ,and about me.I am not doing it to "get a man" ,"keep a man" or  "attract a man". Is is for my health , and staying healthy for my 2 teenage daughters. I am about 5'1" and about 185. (there I said it out loud) I realize there are people who are more over weight ,BUT, I have been doing this "weight thing" since I was a little girl. It effects every aspect of my life . I  have been able to loss weight at times in the past ,but always fail,and gain it back plus ! Every time that I gain it back I am ashamed of myself , lose more self esteame ,and isolate myself from people . I have done "liquid diets" (optifast) and a "protein sparing modified fast"

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