cincymitch

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 Here it is the third day of January, 2010. I weighed this morning and I'm up 2.5 pounds from Christmas eve.......I can not begin to tell you how tired I am of being fat, fighting weight, being me in general.

A lady I work with had the surgery one month before I did and has lost 121 pounds so far while I have only lost 70. Its had me depressed for two days. I'm happy for her, but wheres MY drastic loss? I've yet to experience that. I want to be in the over 100 pound loss club so badly. My goal was to be there by new years, but it didnt happen. I keep hitting plateaus and depression.

My goal is to buckle down even more and get to the gym ALOT more. Heres to making that happen in 2010

I'm feeling really fat tonight and sorta down. It's just a bad evening I guess, I didn't want to go out and I'm sleepy at 9pm. The winter nights coupled with the "poor me" attitude is making me one sad pup.

I caved in tonight and ate tortilla chips. I've been trying my best since surgery to stay away from bad carbs like that and yet I'm still drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Will I ever be free of my carb addiction? Whats even more scary is I ate more than I've eaten in almost 3 months tonight for dinner. I don't want to stretch my pouch out, but I had to make myself stop. Go easy big boy, you've only lost 60 pounds and cant be even close to being done losing!

 
I had RNY gastric bypass on 9-21-09, so just 2.5 months out. I've lost 60 pounds since starting the liquid diet on 9-14. I'm very happy that I did it, but I will tell you its been very stop and go since the beginning. I have been on a plateau for over 4 weeks and thats disheartening. When not on plateaus though, its come off fairly quickly.

So far have only gotten sick twice, once on peanut butter and again with veggie dip. Both have high fats and I cant tolerate them well for now. About a month after surgery I ordered applesauce from a restaurant and I dumped. Pulse raced, got dizzy, felt like I was dying....it wasnt low sugar or sugar free applesauce. I'm trying not to eat any bread at all because I dont want to get back on that train wreck, thats a personal choice. I have cravings for salty things like nuts and crackers, but this week did with out any of those and I think my plateau may have broken. 

I would totally suggest anyone who is thinking about this procedure to do it. Its so nice to not be hungry all the time! I know the appetite and cravings will come back, but for now its nice to be normal around food and use this time to learn that food is fuel and only eat enough to survive. Oh, and I joined a gym! me! A gym....never thought I'd EVER do that!