DO YOU! (who me? YES YOU!)

Nov 02, 2009

We talk about epiphanies all the time but have you ever really had one? It’s an exciting experience to say the least. I claim to have epiphanies often but really they are not—in those instances usually I’m merely recognizing things I could not or would not recognize before, but that I have always known.

Well this morning I had an epiphany.

I was walking to work. It is a brisk fall day today in Baltimore and I am just getting over a nasty battle with germs. I wore a dress, some thick tights, and a jacket that is a few sizes too large but still manages to look cute on me. I was rocking my super-chic leather booties (trust me…this is going somewhere) and I had all my accessories and jewelry perfectly put together so that I looked like a hip, boho chic mama! As I walked past rows of houses on my way to work, seeing my reflection in the glass of people’s storm doors, it hit me: “I am EXACTLY who I always wanted to be!”

And I stopped and I thought about that. Because it’s not just about fashion my friends. Although fashion is very important to me, it is more about the mindset. I was walking tall, with a confident stride, looking cute, knowing I looked cute, smiling to people as they passed by, NOT avoiding my reflection but relishing in it…and finding myself extremely satisfied with what I saw (and, better yet, unable to wield one piece of meaningful criticism at myself).

THIS is who I wanted to be!!!!

But that brought on a second wave of thought (as epiphanies usually do and rightfully should). See, there’s a difference between being and doing. Anyone who is a parent knows that. Most anyone capable of coupling with someone can BE a parent. DOING the parenting is another thing altogether. So although in many ways I am being the person I want to be, am I doing the things that person wants to do?

I’m not so sure.

To grasp that I guess I’d have to look back to my conception of how this chick is supposed to be living. I always fancied myself a curvy, hip, boho chick who is confident, who loves to dance, listens to jazz music, knows the taste of a good glass of wine, knows the company of fine mine (fine character…get your minds out of the gutter!), is well traveled, and has something to say to the world and something to say for her life.

Using this definition…I got some work to do! But I don’t take that as a statement of success or failure—I take it as a challenge! Now that I can see myself in that role, it’s time to play it! Lights, camera, action! This is what I’ve been waiting for…so what am I waiting for???

So what does this all have to do with you? Well, very often we get caught up in one or the other—being or doing. Being skinny. Doing what we want to do. These things aren’t mutually exclusive but they are related. There are some things you quite simply would not have done as a morbidly obese person that you said you’d consider as a simply overweight person or a “normal” sized person. Are you doing them? If not, what are you waiting for? If you have a list somewhere, blow off the dust and get to it!

DO YOU!

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